We're still trying to figure out Twitter, right? I was under the impression that everyone, from the ADHD-addled college student with an account with just one update "I'm using Twitter!" to the company CEO, still doesn't know exactly what to do with it. It's got some use, sure, and it's a wonderful combination of fun and addicting, but at this stage in the game all the celebrities, applications, and memes being nurtured in this social network are far too numerous to name.
In fact, I don't know if anyone can name all of them. But if given a handful of properties and having to rank them from 140 (agonizing) to 1 (nerdgasm), perhaps that's doable. Even if no one asked for it. So let's begin.
140. Spammers — They have their own ring in hell now. They have to sort the mail.
139. People who hate Twitter without trying it — Slightly better than spammers. Slightly.
138. Begs to be retweeted — Guess what? If I like it, I'll do just that.
137. Twitterfeed — It's admittedly convenient to syndicate stories via RSS into Twitter, but it takes the human element out of it.
136. Accounts that are nothing BUT a Twitterfeed
135. Celebrity ghost twitterers — An exception can be made if the Twitterer is an actual celebrity ghost
134. Made-up words designed just for Twitter, or the "twictionary" — See "nauseating, very."
133. @suss2hyphens — Seriously, what a tool this guy is.
132. Having to explain what Twitter is to a non-user — Honestly, it'd be like explaining cell phones to Charlemagne. It'd make more sense for them to just use one.
131. Public relations people who incorrecdtly use Twitter — I wish they knew how obvious it was that they're just one long yet fragmented commercial.
130. The fact that @Oprah is using it
Article comments
1 - Phillip Winn
#4 is my favorite. Also, it seems almost like you've never heard of Tweet 140.
Horrors!
2 - Ken Edwards
Nice list Suss. And you *do* say jeopardy a lot. But keep it up, its funny shit.
3 - writerkols
I love this post!You really have a lot of patience as well as grudge (against Twitter). Else, how can you list 140 agonizing to nerdy things about Twitter?
4 - AlohaSpirit
141. Vain attempts by writers to define Twitter.