According to The Sociopath Next Door by Dr. Stout, the U.S. hosts 11.7 million psychopaths, and New York City is home to 320,000 of them. She knows this because people with clipboards have determined that four percent of the American population are psychopaths. Such a staggering fact obviously raises a host of questions: Who are these psychopaths? Where do they shop? Do they all vote Republican?
Well, I was disappointed to discover that psychopaths (whom Dr. Stout, every bit the Harvard clinician, prefers to term “sociopaths”) do not all spend their days sewing dresses made from human skin. They are unable to forge emotional attachments, and as a result they never form a conscience; that’s it. They are remorseless and shameless, but they are not particularly anything else. Your average psychopath is as average as your average American. Sure, occasionally a superstar like Charlie Manson hits the scene, but he’s the exception. One psychopath may spend his life lazily and shamelessly leeching off others; one may end up a pathetic middle manager whose only joy is abusing her modest power; another is a greedy, lying CEO; another is a carping old hag; still another is Vice-President. You’ve certainly met at least one in your lifetime, because it turns out that “psychopath” is merely the clinical term for the more colloquial “asshole” or “bitch.”
Although psychopaths do not suffer the burden of a conscience, they are not blind to social mores or the emotions of others. They cannot feel, but they can imitate. Consequently, they are able to expertly blend in among us feelers — even to use our feelings against us. Pity, remorse, and love are the poison tipped arrows in the psychopath’s arsenal. Robbed of the deeper human satisfactions, their motivations are basic, animal. They live to win — or if not to win, then to make others lose. With 96 percent of the population distracted from their own self-interest by inexplicable emotional impulses, the able psychopath can manipulate or steamroll anyone in the way. Even the most hardened among us are sometimes inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt, and all the psychopath requires is an opening and then it’s BLAM! POW! — a broken heart, an empty bank account, a stolen child, or your liver in some guy’s freezer. Afraid? What about that boss of yours? What’s up with the sharp glint in his eye? And that boyfriend who protests his love so fervently… is he overcompensating? Oh, and the lady at the deli: why does she always make the sandwiches out of your view? “Who is the devil you know?” asks Dr. Stout or, rather, the helpful people from the Broadway Books publicity department.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - DrPat
Who are these psychopaths?... Do they all vote Republican?
This sarcasm undermines the rest of your review -- except for that superfluous joke, I would have said, "Wow! I gotta read this book!"
2 - sydney
"Who are these psychopaths?... Do they all vote Republican?"
-- and do they all run for public office?
3 - NancyGail
um, wait. They're two different things. Psychopaths dont CARE about how their actions may affect others. Sociopaths dont FEEL. They cannot sympathize or empathize.
4 - mike hollihan
This "review" is repugnant and lazy. It's a shame it was posted to BC.
First and foremost, there are real and important differences between sociopaths and psychopaths. For you to arbitrarily decide "I don't care." and to use the other term is arrogant.
Sociopaths can understand the difference between right and wrong, but don't care. They are sometimes called predators, because their behavior can seem predatory. Psychopaths don't even understand the world. They have fundamental brain dysfunctions that render their world permanently confusing.
The degree of sociopathy determines the degree of successful functioning. Guys like Ted Bundy are very, very rare. Most sociopaths just see the straightest line to want they want and go along it. They bump up against other people and the law and hence get into trouble. Most don't ever understand why, and so eventually end up with no friends (only folks they can use) and in jail. A very, very few (either the mildly sociopathic or the rarer deeply sociopathic but highly intelligent ones) learn to keep out of trouble while still following that straightest line.
And "spooky eyes" isn't a joke. I don't know how many schizophrenic or psychopathic people you've met, but if you've ever been stared at by one, you'd know exactly what Dr. Stout is talking about. It's deeply unnerving. The hindbrain *knows* something's wrong.
The arrogance, insult and blithe smugness of this post really offends me. Greed and control aren't sociopathy. Get over yourself, reread the book and learn something.
5 - Eric Olsen
I have seen those eyes
6 - sydney
I've seen those eyes as well!
7 - mike hollihan
No, that's not it, sydney. (Yes, I know you're kidding.) When you're looking over cuts of meat or bins of vegetables at the grocery store, do you glare malevolently? Of course not. But being regarded that flatly and directly is highly unsettling.
Intent focus, no emotion. Think of a piece of furniture or a work of art that you're studying intently. Imagine being on the receiving end of that.
8 - Victor Plenty
Sorry, this is a little confusing. If a person doesn't know there's a difference between a psychopath and sociopath... would that make the person a psychopath, or only a sociopath?
And if the person doesn't care about the difference, would that make them... uh... the other one?
Help me out here, Doc!
9 - jeanne wells
I tend to take a lot of things very seriously...while reading this I wondered about parents who might see this in a child, what can they do? They book didn't leave much hope.
10 - melissa
I read this book. I would recommend it to anyone that suspects they have been the victim of a sociopath/con artist. This book helps even the playing field a little when you know what a sociopath is and what you are dealing with.
11 - Bob A. Booey
If any of you have seen the documentary "The Corporation," it makes a pretty convincing case that corporate America and consumerist American society are sociopathic and psychopathic based on the DSM-IV criteria.
That is all.
12 - Tom Grounds
I thought the book was pretty informative; if the facts are accurate. I've had several encounters with sociopaths throughout my life time and have learned instinctively (through trial and error) how to deal with some of them. Some things mentioned in the book helped to clarify why some tactics work and other don't. However, I think I am dealing with a child that may have some of these traits (though not all), and I'm also concerned about their future prospects, which the book doesn't really address. You can extricate yourself from many relationships, but I can't bring myself to give up on one of my own children. Informing yourself helps though, and that is the primary goal of the book. The fact that 'interconnectedness' teaching may seem to help offers some hope.
13 - gary
please help need help, i have a sociopath moving into our home it is my wonderful girlfriends son. this a woman who has helped me beyound all of my disabilities that are another story. 26 year old son she did not raise. her ex raised the child and did a very poor job of it. same old same old.
OK HELP can anyone HELP> my personality is that of a neuture and a care giver. I have been fighting depression and have a ruined back. ok now this guy has brought me to violence> He is a pure sociopath . and he is having depression problems and cannot figuire out why kknow one loves him, he lived in the same town his whole life and has no friends. OK, he is a sociopath. give me advice ,Help, courage, all i know to do is to avoid at all costs! Is there anyway to help him! he is a monster. His profile is that he is smart enough to stay out of trouble with the law. and verbally abuses everyone. no respect for anyone. help please e mail me please help! i need education on sociopathy. all i know is there is little or no hhope for them. and under no condition do i believe that there is a cure. please tell me i am wrong. help i have free long distance in the usa. send me your ph# help! i would like to help make his life better, but i am not going to do it without the advice of someone that can convince me ! i am looking for help and will not refuse any advice. help. with all my love and may all victoms of sociopaths heal! and get on with there lives. Even under depression i know life can be wonderful if we make the right choices.and so can yours> Haave you been here? then e mail me .I cannot understand this is happening again! third time this has happened to me this time i know who what and why! but i do not know what to do ! forgive my spelling and grammer. gary
14 - noneof yourbusiness
Ok. I am a diagnosed sociopath. I am not violent, I do not intentionally 'con' anyone. I don't intend on being particularly malicious towards anyone. I am a sociopath becuase I cannot (according to a plethera of personality and identity tests) emphathize with people and I have a abnormal idea of what a conscience is. I spend every day of my life figuring out how to be normal, so I won't offend anyone accidentally with my 'disorder'. The fact that people believe all people with these traits are dangerous to society really bothers me. To use an appropriate cliche, we're people to.
15 - Compassionate Neurotic
to "none of your business". you do remember the part in Dr. Stout's book about the sure tell of a socio is the "pity play". your post demonstrates this.
16 - Smurfcreature
A lousy review of an excellent book. The reviewer is more interested in glib himself than really reviewing the book. Sociopathy is a real disorder with devastating consequences.
17 - Elle
Really, if anyone out there can respond to my concern, I would be grateful. I have a teenage son and there is not doubt of his sociopathy. Now, where do we go from here? How do I address the issue with him, help him become more self aware and, hopefully, successful with future relationships? Is there a book anyone can recommend?
18 - Bev
Elle: I am in a similar situation and desperate for help. Let me know if you get any suggestions regarding books or help. Bev
19 - stereo_rose
to "none of your business". you do remember the part in Dr. Stout's book about the sure tell of a socio is the "pity play". your post demonstrates this.
I'm curious about this, too. I've been living with a diagnosis of borderline sociopathy/sociopathic for years (a few different doctors, a few different opinions), and have never attempted to con or (to my knowledge) hurt anyone, I have a stable job, and a few friends. I mostly keep to myself, read alot and enjoy solitary hobbies. I certainly don't expect anyone to feel sorry for me...I don'tthink I have a reason for them to feel sorry. If I spend my life trying to just get by on my own mettle without disrupting people around me, does this make me a freak of nature?
Of course sociopaths are 'people' too...everyone is a person. I may not understand conscience as some other people do, but I try to live by example. (Meaning the example of the people in my life who have 'normal' consciences) I may have a 'disorder' but that doesn't mean I can't try to make the best of life and learn to get by without stepping on anyone's heart or toes.
A blanket diagnosis doesn't define the whole of a person's being. It just can't.
20 - unsureOFme
an internet chat revealed that i may be a sociopath. upon further research, not enough in my opinion, i do possess quite a few traits. this is scary to learn but at the same time good. though it seems that there is no hope of being "normal", it would be good to know methods to remain balanced... and maybe, just maybe, be able to be successful in relationships. to form human bonds with those outside of a family obligation. there is so much to write here that most would not have the patience. if anything, don't feel sorry for me... pity is the last thing that i need... the first being HELP!
21 - Poetry
OK i can't take it anymore so i went to seek help they told me "what i was " well what they think but inside i really don't know i wish that i can just be normal I'm a girl dealing with this & all i keep reading & seeing is people saying that when you find out that a person you know has this type of of thing inside them ((( THAT THEY DID NOT ASK FOR ))) you should hurry up and get as far away from them as you can because (WE) (( THE SCARED )) (THE CRAZY) are bad people WHY DO THEY SAY THAT don't we too still need love do we not deserve love because of what is inside of us believe me i bet that if you ask anyone with this disorder if they had a chance to get rid of it they would love to because it is sooooo scary sometimes the way you feel inside and to not have no clue why you feel that way it is so hard don't yall think we want help or maybe you think we want to be this way lol
I JUST WISH TO KNOW FOR YOU TO KNOW AND FOR ME BECAUSE TO KNOW IS THE KEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
22 - sociopaths should be shot
I am being targeted by a group of sociopaths that are intent on ruining my life and drive me to suicide.... How can I stop them - or should they be shot? HELP!!
23 - BooYouWhore
Just to say...
those of you who are pissing yourselves about thinking you maybe a sociopath...
You're not.
If you were then you wouldn't give a shit if you really were or weren't
-Thanks ;]
24 - Akarin
At BooYouWhore,
Actually, people can seek help if they find things intrusive enough on their lifestyle.
25 - Tex Mex
Martha Stout writes that sociopathy, with its defining lack of conscience, is the result of some missing wiring in the brain. Consequently, the broad spectrum of emotions (especially love), which ordinarily enriches life with others and makes empathy possible, is also missing. What little wiring exists yields a tenuous, primitive connection to humanity characterized by envy, and manifested as a predatory, no-holds-barred compulsion to win, as if life were an interminable chess game.
She presents composite case histories as examples of sociopathy, including the frog-killing kid who grew up to be a corporate bully, and an older woman who compulsively fussed with neighbors and yard rodents. But the most compelling example is a administrator with fraudulent credentials at a mental institution. As a "covetous sociopath," the administrator targets those to whom she feels inferior, doing nasty, undermining things to make herself look good by comparison. This is the type I've had the misfortune to encounter.
Once a "covetous sociopath" targets your life, and the malevolent game-playing begins, it is one attack after another, set-up after set-up. Their outrages are often petty and unprovable, calculated so that the victim appears crazy when describing the mischief to police. Called to account, the sociopath plays innocent victim ("the pity ploy"), easier to do if the infuriated target retaliates. These sociopaths may operate by getting information about others (stalking and eavesdropping are not always paranoia) so they can screw everything up in the target's work or life to cause pain and humiliation -- which those I encountered would feed off, accompanied by large quantities of alcohol. To end the nightmare, it is essential to cut off their flow of information about your affairs, even if it means moving away. These people are sick, although they are utterly convinced the problem is you, as they will try to persuade the gullible.
I am grateful to Martha Stout for explaining the biology and motivations of sociopaths, which helped me put their insanity in perspective. It is NOT their victim's fault. They want to destroy in others what they lack -- like talent, character, or even the ability to love and be loved -- an existential vengeance against the happiness deprived them.