This could be the mother of all scare tactics and the best use of deliberately misinterpreted data since the alar scare.
The organic patrol can tell us that drinking apple juice and eating apples that were grown non-organically – or is it un-organically? – will make our penises smaller, our son’s penises smaller, and their kids' penises smaller. The organic produce producers of the world will not be able to keep up with the demand.
Then trump this move by saying that non-organic equals bigger where it counts. That’ll just be from apples. And the organic produce industry – overnight – will be the largest industry in the world.
Guys from Green Bay to Greenwich Village will be mashing organic apples for food and drink if they think it can keep their progeny from having a stunted phallus. If you think gas prices are too high, wait until you see what you’ll have to pay for an organic piece of produce if this data is properly mis-disseminated.
I can already see a public service poster that features the pictures of two cucumbers — a huge one with the caption “organic” and a small one with the caption “non-organic,” with a big, bold headline at the top, “Which one would you rather have?” Brought to you by the “Size Matters Coalition Of Organic Food Growers For Men.”
Men aren’t really scared about the 1-in-10 million risk of contracting cancer associated with eating pesticide treated apples but will soil themselves over the same level of risk of getting small penis-itis.
Some hazy, non-specific promise of “healthier” doesn’t matter.
Size matters.
The Food Police can tell us that meat and milk and eggs that have been raised in pesticide-laden environments will cause shrinkage. At this point a national man panic will ensue. Tough guys and beef-eaters from every local corner coffee shop and diner will descend on the nations’ organic food markets and create a bigger human traffic jam than all the illegal protesting immigrants that you could shake a taser gun at.
I hope with all of my heart that some organic, anti-pesticide organization out there picks up this story, takes this data and runs with it. We could use the laughs.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Purple Tigress
And yet the fear of erectile dysfunction hasn't stopped men from drinking and smoking.
2 - zingzing
smoking causes erectile dysfunction? i did not know that. (and drinking, when kept to a smart level, just makes it so you can last longer in the... uh... sack. 2 or 3 beers, you no cum fast! she get chance! let women have their chance!)
3 - sal m
c'mon zing, smoking causes everything to disfunction...where have ya been?
4 - Victor Plenty
People who think "pesticides are necessary" don't understand what makes agriculture possible. The movement away from industrial agriculture is not merely about making food that tastes better (although organic foods frequently do) nor only about making food that causes fewer health risks (although organic foods are often less likely to cause illness).
At its core, the organic agriculture movement aims to lower the overall cost of food. Chemical fertilizers and pesticides are growing more and more expensive, and as time passes they are needed in greater and greater amounts, because they simply don't work over the long term. They are at best a short term fix, like chemotherapy for a cancer patient. Nobody can live a long healthy life on constant chemo. In the same way, agriculture cannot continue on a toxic chemical regimen indefinitely.
The worst damage caused by overuse of pesticides and fertilizers is not in the slight rise of cancer rates, devastating as that is for those who suffer its effects. The great danger of our misplaced faith in "better living through chemistry" is how it has damaged the land's ability to support agricultural crops. There comes a time when abused soils become too damaged to grow food anymore, no matter how many tons of fertilizer we might dump on them.
If we allow that to happen on much more of our agricultural land, biotechnology will not be able to keep the price of food down. Organic agriculture just might.
5 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
If, G-d forbid, I'm ever in the uh "market" again, I guess I'll have to show up at the organic foods shops for my super-expensive veggies and fruit. Size matters, as Sal has pointed out, although it is often the size of the bank account that is important too.
When I have more money, and can afford the super expensive veggies, I think I'll mention this study to my teenage sons - Then they'll probably agree to the healthy diet I've been trying to push for the last two years...
6 - sal m
organic food is alleged to taste better...but this is subjective and ancecdotal at that...my anecdotal is that there's no taste difference.
the analysis that the organic agriculture movement's aim is to lower the costs of food and that chemical fertilizers ruin the soil and all of that, just isn't supported by the facts.
7 - Duane
A penetrating look at the politics behind the food industry. The Food Police are trying to ram their propaganda down our throats. It just makes me stiffen my resistance, though, so their approach is impotent.
8 - sal m
their approach is both impotent and flaccid....
9 - zingzing
i like smoking. i like the size of my pecker. i like screwing. i am screwed. organic food is expensive. and funny smelling. makes me poop (um, differently?)
10 - sal m
Zing has given the anti-organic movement - and i mean movement - it's motto:
"organic food is expensive. and funny smelling. makes me poop (um, differently?)"
11 - zingzing
i didn't give that shit away, i sold it!
12 - Victor Plenty
When the only "facts" you accept as valid are those carefully selected for your consumption by the very same chemical industry that has been selling some toxins as pesticides and other toxins as fertilizers for decades now, then of course you won't believe the truth about their devastating effect on agricultural soils. Mounting scientific evidence points to declining fertility across broad tracts of formerly productive fields.
The reality on the ground is clearly visible. Overuse of chemicals already leads to crop losses on many farms. Farmers can and do get better yields, have less need for irrigation water, have fewer problems with crop diseases, and reduce their overall production costs by reducing or eliminating these toxic chemicals which are supposedly "necessary" for agriculture.
The time is coming when organically grown foods will in fact cost less than foods grown by the "conventional" sector of agriculture. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon; and for the rest of our lives.
13 - njff
Im impressed with what you know about this subject.How did you ever cope with your penis size matching the size of your little toe?
14 - RedTard
"The reality on the ground is clearly visible. Overuse of chemicals already leads to crop losses on many farms. Farmers can and do get better yields, have less need for irrigation water, have fewer problems with crop diseases, and reduce their overall production costs by reducing or eliminating these toxic chemicals which are supposedly 'necessary' for agriculture."
I was born and raised on a farm and I can tell you, you are absolutely wrong. Farming is extremely competitive, if anything you said were remotely true it would overtake the industry almost instantly. Those chemicals you speak of are very expensive and trust me, many people have tried to compete by not using modern methods. They got buried.
You've been propagandized by the tree huggers. The sad thing is most people are too ignorant about these things to know they've been fed a line of bull. It makes me wonder how many things I believe to be true that were just made up by some special interest group to further their cause.
15 - sal m
red:
that's good...
16 - njff
Sal:
that's crap...
17 - sal m
njff wrote:
"Im impressed with what you know about this subject.How did you ever cope with your penis size matching the size of your little toe?"
please clarify which subject that you are referring to in your above "comment," as i know very little about a lot of subjects.
and njff wrote:
"that's crap..."
now pay attention...try and express yourself without insulting people and by actually putting forth some facts to support your position...and try and use your big boy or girl voice.
are you pro-organic or anti-chemical or both? are you anti-small penis or more of a pro-big penis kind of gal or guy? red did a great job, as did victor in a dissenting view, of getting their point across. try and do it, you can do it ffnj!
18 - sal m
oh well that's not too much better, but i didn't expect you to come through. :(
keep trying!
19 - Victor Plenty
Red, actually I work in agriculture, for a company that has helped many farmers successfully escape from the chemical industry's cycle of addiction.
Your experience proves only that there are still far more farmers who continue to believe the industry's propaganda telling them they'll go bankrupt if they don't buy the chemicals. The reason for that is simple. The petrochemical industry still has huge resources for advertising and marketing. Despite this, their time will come to an end, one way or another, because their methods cannot be sustained over the long term.
I have personally spoken with a number of farmers who have found a better way, who no longer need to dump tons of expensive toxins onto their land, and who are seeing higher yields and better profits as a result. They also live with less fear, because they know sustainable agriculture will continue to provide healthy yields long after the methods of industrial agriculture have run their course and been abandoned.
20 - RedTard
Ok, Victor whatever you say. Those evil farmers would rather throw away money in order to destroy the environment. Your argument makes no sense and is completely false.
I can only speak for corn, grain, and soybean production from experience though. You may have some inside information on other areas.
You're an advocate, as you mentioned, who is pushing propaganda so your opinion is nowhere close to being objective. My experience is with people trying to make a living in a competitive environment.
People in a super competitive marketplace struggling to avoid bankruptcy and maintain their livelyhood do not throw money away willy-nilly on expensive chemicals that don't work, period.
It disturbs me that there are people out there like yourself spreading disinformation, making innocent farmers out to be evil environment destroyers, and in general being an ass.
21 - RedTard
Changes that positively effect production don't need advocacy groups to take hold, the market creates those on it's own. Now, if you get a bunch of people who are willing to pay double for the same product grown organic, then you might have a case.
22 - zingzing
um... redtard? i don't think he is trying to spread disinformation. it's well known that using those chemicals is bad for the land and therefore bad for the farmer in the longrun. i would suggest that before you nix the entire idea, you convert a portion of your land, just a small bit, into an organic area... test it out. see what happens.
i don't really have an opinion one way or the other, but, as a consumer, i just don't see how spraying chemicals all over something i'm going to put in my mouth is a good thing.
23 - Victor Plenty
Where did I ever say anything about "evil farmers"?
Somebody's spreading disinformation here, but I'm not the one doing that.
24 - Long Doe
Hi, from my personal experience the penis size thing is true, indisputable. Girth and length. My organ can go from above average to below depending on what I've been eating... You are what you eat remember. Organic oatmeal has had wonderous effects. I don't think there is any debate here. Let's be frank: Organic food tastes better and is obviously better for you... no discussion. Studies that say otherwise are promoting agendas other than your families. They are trying to get food to market, and on the shelves for as long as possible, to make as much profit as possible, and it is produced en mass. People seem to forget one thing. There are a lot of us. And, that means a lot of food... which invites mass production methods, which always kills quality. As a Phd. candidate I warn you not to trust "studies" in general, there is always an alternative variant loading the scales (no one bites the hand that feeds them, otherwise they wouldn't be fed)
25 - Gary
It is true that organics taste better, even though it is a matter of opinion. I know that I can actually taste the difference between an organic banana and a non-organic banana, I can actually pick the organic one out, from a blind taste test.
If the taste alone isn't enough, maybe it is time one of us see what God's word has to say about the topic...(I know once I said that, a lot of you will begin to ignore what I have to say, please don't though)
The Bible has a lot to say about health, but I am only going to give you one verse at this time...
Lev.22:7 “And when the sun is down, he shall be clean, and shall afterward eat of the holy things; because it is his food."
I also believe the Bible states exactly how to grow food, although I don't know exactly where it is...
Although the Bible should be the authority in the matter, if this isn't enough....
It is simply obvious that the chemicals put on our food, cannot be good for us, likewise purely natural foods, are excellent for us.