Organic food annoys me.
Despite what the organics will have you believe, research just doesnâ€™t indicate that there are any real health benefits that come from eating organically produced foods. This doesnâ€™t mean that there arenâ€™t any studies that have turned up positives for organic food, because studies have been done that show organic foods have some benefits. The problem is that for every one of these â€śpro-organicâ€ť studies there are other studies that show organic foods offer no real benefits.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is a lack of scientific consensus.
But now thanks to data uncovered by Louis Guillette, an assistant dean of research at the University of Florida, the organic movement has a chance to pick up a head of steam. Hopefully â€“ for their sake - they wonâ€™t blow this chance to expand and extend their influence.
The thrust of Dean Guilletteâ€™s findings is that the use of pesticides has led to changes in fertility and sex including â€“ gasp â€“ penis size. And by change in penis size, weâ€™re talking smaller.
Guillette made his opinions known while speaking at a conference at the University of Western Ontario during question and answer periods and during interviews. Guillette said that the use of pesticides for cosmetic purposes of keeping lawns looking nice is not warranted since he feels that there is enough evidence to put children â€“ of course, the children! - wildlife, and the ecosystem at risk.
Oddly, Dean G makes no mention of the risk to men. After dropping the whole smaller penis bombshell, how could he forget to mention men? After all, kids have small penises to begin with, so smallness is a relative term. But to a man, a decrease in penis size is as big of a risk as there exists on the face of the earth. Forget death, disease and taxes.
Small penis is the Pol Pot of men problems.
Organic food may annoy, but the threat of a small penis terrifies.
In defense of Guillette, he limited his comments to saying that pesticides shouldnâ€™t be used for cosmetic purposes â€“ for lawn care - and did say that pesticides are necessary for health and agricultural purposes, and therefore shouldnâ€™t be banned.
However, just because Guillette uses his research findings in a responsible manner doesnâ€™t mean that others have to.
I can just see how this info could be wielded to further the goals of the organic movement. Despite Guillette limiting his research to the study of alligators that live in contaminated lakes and ponds â€“ these poor alligators had smaller genitals than their clean water counterparts â€“ thereâ€™s no reason activists canâ€™t exploit this data and extrapolate accordingly. And to exponentially increase the impact of this information, the organics can say that non-pesticide stuff can make your penis bigger.