Off I went on a mysterious voyage, providing stool samples in plastic cups to walk-in clinics and having blood drawn. My condition was getting worse, as I continued to deliver pizza in between tests and getting plenty of rest. My boss was considerate and let me take it easy more often than not. I was also getting quite pale and my cheeks began to sink in, causing one backslapping co-worker to observe that I was starting to “look like Skeletor.” I snapped back something about Skeletor being yellow, of course, but that's neither here nor there.
I was also up for X-rays, downing a mug of revolting chalk-flavoured crud in order to elucidate my insides.
After a brief period of time, I went back to Dr. Cooper’s office and took a seat in his office. “Jordan,” he began candidly, “you have ulcerative colitis.”
I had no idea what that meant and I stared vacantly ahead as he began to explain it. Dr. Cooper went on to tell me that ulcerative colitis is an inflammation of the colon, causing ulcers and inflammation along the inner lining of the large intestine. It is chronic, meaning I will never be rid of it, but it is controllable with apt attention and care. There is no particular known cause, although there are a few things that can cause the condition to “flare up.”
Dr. Cooper wanted me to have a sigmoidoscopy in order to check out the large intestine to verify that there were no cancerous growths. It would involve a flexible endoscope heading in through the out door to poke around in there. He mentioned that I would be able to see the procedure while they were “within” thanks to the endoscope’s camera.
I needed to perform a few enemas and make sure everything was thumbs-up in there first and then I headed to the hospital for the procedure. I watched them nudge around in my large intestine searching for polyps, bleeding, and other abnormalities.
After another brief period of time, Dr. Cooper told me that they didn’t find anything with the sigmoidoscopy and that it was time to try some medication. I was given something called salofalk, which was pricey as hell but fortuitously partly covered thanks to the notorious Canadian Health Care, and I began to take the pills in pairs four times a day.
Article comments
1 - Jeannie Danna
Jordan,
How honest your writing is and how straightforward! It took a ton of courage for you to write this essay about how our bodies betray us. I am blessed to have met you in my cyber-life as you are "really" helping me to tell my story to the world.
2 - Jordan Richardson
Thank you very much for reading!
3 - Christopher Rose
This was indeed a good article, both interesting and funny.
Changing the subject, what I want to know is what happened inbetween the taking of the photos above and on Jordan's "Aboot Me" page on his own site. Is there more to this Ulcerative Colitis than we've been told? ;-)
4 - roger nowosielski
So Jeannie,
You still haven't answered the question I posed to you days ago. I have a weird feeling that by nature, you tend to be elusive and somewhat on the coy side - I understand that. The question still stands, though - what made you write like a dream?
5 - Jordan Richardson
Chris, the operation has gone well and I spend a lot of time gazing at myself in the mirror.
:P
6 - Jeannie Danna
ROGER, WHAT THE F R U saying here? [You still haven't answered the question I posed to you days ago. I have a weird feeling that by nature, you tend to be elusive and somewhat on the coy side - I understand that. The question still stands, though - what made you write like a dream?]
7 - Jordan Richardson
He's using my article to ask you why/how you write so well, I think.
8 - Jeannie Danna
Jordan,
Where does everyone go? and how do they stick together like this? Do they e-mail each other?
9 - Jordan Richardson
Some of us do, yeah. It all depends. As for me, I just went outside for a second to enjoy the day and quickly remembered my seasonal allergies. Brilliant!
10 - Cindy
I go into sleep mode until I get an e-mail from Jordan telling me I should come back and blab some more. :-)
11 - Jordan Richardson
Any minute now...
:P
12 - Jeannie Danna
Are you all here? This is starting to get to me! I think I better take a break..and Cindy? I was over tweeting today and saw your @ replies I sent you a MSG it really is about a cat!