I hate the dentist. I made a trip to the dentist a few years ago that I’ll never forget, however, and it involved a sudden stop-off on the side of the highway and an incredibly strange but welcome feeling of liberation.
See, the dentist brings out my most stressful feelings. Something about the feeling of those rubber gloves and the taste of the fluoride just does me in. I’ve never had a cavity or any serious procedure, save for wisdom teeth removal, but I’ve always hated the dentist. With colitis, this stress impacts the condition and creates many more urges than previously scheduled.
On my way to the dentist, one such urge overtook me driving 100 km/h on the highway. Amazingly, I didn’t panic. I didn’t freak out. Instead, I pulled over to the side of the road when it was safe to do so and hopped out of my car. It was as though I was being led by a spirit of some kind, but I made my way up an embankment by the side of the highway and, once behind a small cluster of bushes, "dealt" with my urge.
As I watched the cars drive by, none of them noticed the young man squatting behind a segment of bushes. I realized that there was nothing to fear and I laughed. I cheered.
I still hate the dentist, though.
Sometimes all we can do with UC or Crohn's Disease or IBD or life is just laugh. Sometimes, in murky moments of despair and shame and confusion, all we can do to alleviate our angst is to chuckle, to cheer, and to rejoice.
For more information on ulcerative colitis, Crohn's disease, or other digestive illnesses, check out the Canadian Society of Intestinal Research or the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of Canada.
Article comments
1 - 2 weeks from a colectomy
I have found that matter-of-fact honesty has worked best. "I have a disease that causes me to need to poop very urgently and painfully. It also causes me to be very fatigued all the time." If people have questions, let them ask. If they don't, then I shouldn't care. If they joke, I tell them bluntly, "It's not funny. It's painful and a debilitating humiliating disease." Usually, shame works to silence those unwilling to empathize.
2 - Marie Warder
I enjoyed reading your article, Jordan - with mounting admiration for you. Only a very special person could introduce humour into such a ghastly situation. I'll be keeping you in my prayers. Keep writing. You're a real gift to the rest of us!
3 - Comfy Tummy
There is no reason to live with fear if you have colitis. I was diagnosed with colitis in 2004 and have not lived with fear since I discovered the Specific Carbohydrate Diet as set forth in Elaine Gottschall's book - Breaking The Vicious Cycle. It actually heals your digestive tract. I've been symptom free for years without any meds. You can read about my journey on my blog at comfytummy.com
4 - 2 weeks from a colectomy
Dear Comfy Tummy,
I'm glad you found something that worked for you. It's not a miracle cure, hover. I tried it and it did not work. Neither did conventional medicine. The fact of the matter is that some with UC enter remission and stay there. Others never find it. It's hard to generalize to everyone based on one's own personal experience. Therefore, for someone who is about to have his colon removed for lack of any other solution, it's rather insulting to be told I have "no reason to live in fear if [I] have colitis." That implies I have not done enough.
Again, I'm glad to hear worked for you. I'm glad to hear that anyone has found reprise from this cruel disease, but the truth is that there's no hard science behind Gottschall's assertions. While anecdotes make for good reading, they haven't managed to prevent the inevitable removal of my colon.
5 - Franko
one of the problems with colitis, as with IBS, IBD, lactose intolerance and crohns is excessive malodorous flatulence or intestinal gas. I have found a great simple non medicinal solution and that is the Flatulence Deodorizer by Flat-D Innovations. It is an activated charcoal cloth pad that you place in your underwear and it absorbs and removes the gas odor. I have regained my self confidence because I am not embarrassed anymore.
6 - Jordan Richardson
Thank you, Marie. Appreciate it!
7 - Michael Moretti
Have no shame. Restrooms of the opposite gender. Roadside craps. Employee-only facilities. Fill your shorts and keep your chin up. The physical price may often be too much to pay; don't go deeper in debt in your mind.
8 - Californiality
I have a longtime friend who deals with the same issues. Countless times, we have left events early, shown up late, or not gone at all because of his affliction. I see the pain he goes through, so I am always flexible when we make plans. I wish I had a magic wand to fix it, though!