The Big "O"

Overstock.com sells shit that has already failed in the marketplace at least once before. They sell this shit at highly-discounted prices. I have bought shit from there before, and can confirm that it is, indeed, pretty much shit.

Their products are not worthy of note.

But their advertisements are.

I am certain I am not the only male reading this whose pants have suddenly gotten two-sizes smaller watching one of these ads.

These ads feature this incredibly hot chick on camera, wearing seductive clothing, talking about the "secret" of the "Big O" in an inimitable purr.

I would gladly buy whatever crap the site she is shilling for is selling, if only she would appear in longer-running ads. Say, a Ross Perot-style 30-minute infomercial.

This would provide me, and millions of other perverted TV viewers, with masturbatory fodder for weeks.

My plea to the people at Overstock.com:

Please run more (and longer) ads starring this angelic creature. I'll buy MC Hammer CDs, or Chia Pets, or whatever the fuck you're selling.

JUST, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, REMAIN SOLVENT!

Article Author: RJ Elliott

RJ Elliott is a three-time graduate of the University of Central Florida. His passions in life are sports, politics, and nature. He dislikes daytime television, anti-American dictators, and people who talk like Garrison Keillor. …

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