For me the computer in some way dehumanizes people. I admit to not always thinking of the people behind the words as real human beings with feelings. The first step, logically, is to remember there are real people somewhere behind all this stuff.
The second part of the solution is simple really: find like-minds and remember where you are at all times. Don’t let the fact that there is no tangible human in front of you change your behavior.
If you're going to a real life community meeting to discuss and give opinions on hot topics, it is alright to give a rather derisive opinion, but if you're a vegetarian going out to lunch with an eclectic group of friends just to kick-back and enjoy the moment, you’re not going to sit around gagging and calling them gross when they order a rare steak. Apply this to your online life and it makes it easy.
To save everyone, including yourself, a lot of annoying wasteful time the best thing to do is to find people who are at a given place online at any given time for the same reason as you are. Don’t go into a feminist forum to discuss fashion, don’t go into a religious forum to degrade religion, and don’t try to plant your ideological opinions on social issues in a forum meant for nothing more than daily drivel. It's also helpful to note that, just as in real life, making a moral judgment of others is not conducive to changing their mind about any given subject.
If you find yourself in a place online where you are tempted to break these two simple rules, the best thing to do is to get out, just as you might in real life.
The internet is here for life and is becoming more real everyday. It is time to start looking at your computer life as more of an extension of your life rather than some vague "other part" of it.
Article comments
1 - pia
Cooper I actually read the post that was inspired by your comment. Knowing you and your seven comment styles, it was difficult to think of you as having caused controversy.
Comments are always an "iffy" subject for me as I know what it's like to get comments to attack for the hell of it---and had almost half of 400 comments on a BC thread to show that.
Strangely that post, and the comments which were personal attacks can't be found on BC anymore.
I really didn't mean to make this about me.
I have a blanket rule. I only comment on blogs that I like.
I have no wish for Internet debate. I find debating in person to be much more enjoyable. The playing field is more equal and nobody tells me that I don't deserve to live etc.
2 - Joe
The idea of the internet now being an "extension of" as opposed to an "addendum to" is a helpful way to look at it.
When I was in college, not that long ago, the internet wasn't even the place to do research. It was merely an addendum to life. It's now a necessity and
The idea of the internet now being an "extension of" instead of an "addendum to" is a helpful way to look at it.
The addendum to allows us to make mistakes such as the one you described the extension of would prevent a lot of that.
3 - Michael Karesh
Because of the nature of my website, I spend much of my time on various automotive forums. It is very clear to me that many people use forums as an outlet to speak and act in ways they'd never speak and act in their regular lives.
4 - EsotericWombat
Well said
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more
Mark Twain
Of course you know well I can't pretend to always contain the beast. Though I try to only let it out if I or a friend of mine has been attacked. Or if it would be funny. But you can't always prevent a flame war in a realm where people take pointing out a fallcy in their logic as a personal offense