My heart is filled with sorrow and the future is indeed bleak; free thinking as we know it may very well be in danger of receiving a lobotomy. I’m referring of course to the now sanitized and castrated version of my once beloved T-Shirthell.com. The owner and founder did release a statement claiming the removal of the website’s section Worse Than Hell was of his own doing, but I find this incredibly hard to believe. Especially when he mentioned his regret over hurt feelings and the promise of 30% of this year’s profits going to charity. You can’t possibly make me believe anything else other than somebody got to him --somebody big and with considerable leverage.
Sure all the lewd, crude and low brow t-shirts are alive and well, but the shocking yet brilliant bottom feeders that sent dowdy middle-aged housewives from coast to coast into a frenzy are gone:
I (insert picture of an airplane) NY
Everytime I masturbate, God kills the Pope
Stupidity causes Cancer
Jesus did it for the chicks
Rape is not a laughing matter, unless you’re raping a clown
And many many other equally brilliant and vile t-shirts that caused many a geriatric patient to stroke out on first glimpse. No one was ever safe from his non-stop bitchslap fest.
I’m stunned and seriously considering joining Free Speech in its corner and sobbing. This is the last person I ever dreamed They could have gotten to. He was the slipperiest of weasels (and I admired him so for it) and this is also why I believe the leverage was large and heavy. In the end though, I’m only a heartbroken fan with no proof. The only piece of evidence I can possibly offer up is that this came only a few weeks after I noticed several searches for the infamous t-shirt, “Everytime I masturbate, God kills the Pope”, happening onto my site.
I can’t help feeling though this is the beginning of the end. Free Speech is only accepted if it’s nice speech, and those naughty cheerleaders are much more important than the astronomical and unexplainable rise in gas prices.
The other day, I kid you not; I saw a pink port-a-potty onna flatbed truck riding down the highway. Precious Pink Port-a-Potties; soft and reassuring on the outside, but still a crap hole on the inside.
Article comments
1 - Aaman
Maybe it's time to set up a counter-revolutionary t-shirt site - Vive le Resistance!
2 - Eric Olsen
nice Brooke, thanks!
3 - Vern Halen
I dunno...I'd like to think that maybe free speech is more effective when it's nice speech. There are times to be rude & crude, but in today's white trash world, crude & rude lose their power when they're used constantly.
Maybe restraint & moderation are making a comeback... wow - what a novel use of freedom.
4 - Brooke Lee
From now on everyone, only say nice things to Vern.
5 - jadester
i, too, wondered about this somewhat sudden anouncement.
(I have yet to buy one of their excellent shirts, as i'm too much of a wuss to wear most of them, but am still subscribed to their updates e-mail)
But there could be a simpler, less sinister "other" reason. Quite simply, business. If they didn't sell enough of those *extra* offensive shirts, then maybe they decided it wasn't worth keeping them in the shop. After all, there's little point in having designs available that no-one's prepared to buy...
6 - Vern Halen
Business concerns? Likely correct.
Hooray for the almighty dollar - the great arbitrer of taste, morals & quality.
7 - SFC SKI
"today's white trash world, crude & rude lose their power when they're used constantly."
Well put, Vern.
8 - gonzo marx
bah!
i'm form the Lenny Bruce/George Carlin school
free speech is free speech..
fuck if it's "nice"
sometimes, some folks SHOULD be "offended"
take complete Responsibility for what you say or write...and write or say what you WANT to
anything less is a cop out and/or censorship, and i have only one thing to say there..
fuck censorship in the ass with a red hot poker, then toss it feet first into the wood chipper
Excelsior!
9 - SFC SKI
It's not a question of being "nice", or even censorship, it's about being witty, IMO. Carlin, Bruce, Pryor among otheres were all talented without the swearing, and shocking for saying things that were never said on stage before. Fast-forward 35 years or so and the words are so common that they rarely shock, but worse, their use rarely makes me laugh.
A guy choosing not to sell T-shirts does not mean no one else will, you could also make your own. As someone noted above, if there is money in it, someone will do it soon enough.
10 - gonzo marx
the point in a nutshell, Ski..
it's not about Words themselves..it's how you use them
i could care less about any kind of "shock" value, not my thing..but one should not hesitate to use the words that fit
now, i'm not advocating going around to kindergarden classes and spewing out obscenities...
but that is a boundary marked by Taste and Class as well as a certain amount of Respect towards kiddies
outside of that and rare other circumstances that fall under similar categories...i still say
well..you know what i say..
heh
Excelsior!
11 - Brooke Lee
Well I thought the "Everytime I masturbate, God kills the Pope" was funny. Actually what's really funny is I absentmindedly started that phrase, "Everytime God masturbates..." Ooops! That's it, everytime God masturbates he kills one of us.
Is Vern a Jew hater?
12 - SFC SKI
Brooke, what has Vern posted that would lead you to ask that question?
13 - swingingpuss
I read this line in a book called- Madras on Rainy Days. It had me in splits- 'the throne of Allah rocks when one man mounts another'.
Guess God's on a perpectual rollercoaster ride. Wouldn't mind seeing that line on a T-shirt.
14 - Vern Halen
No, I just don't usually find t-shirts with slogans attractive or funny, an opinion which is not based on religion of any sort.
I'm not sure what t-shirts have to do with religion, unless you're trying to equate freedom of religion with freedom of expression. On the other hand, maybe if church leaders wore t-shirts that said, "THE BIG GUY IS WATCHING YOU" while thay gave their sermons, maybe people would listen more attentively.
Perhaps you've hit onto something after all, BL.
15 - Brooke Lee
Who's BL?
Am I BL?
Vern are you on such a time constraint that ya can't even bother spelling out my name?
And SS, I said that just so someone like yourself would run over to specifically ask me what could possibly provoke such a question.
16 - SFC SKI
Great, you are prescient, make any money on the bet?
17 - Vern Halen
Sorry.....didn't think we were on a first name basis yet.
18 - Tony
I'm a firm believer in free speech, but there is still the "fighting words" doctrine. Words with the sole intent to incite can be limited. Does that mean that tshirthell shouldn't be allowed to sell offensive shirts? No way, but some of those shirts went past commentary into shocking for mere profit. Not a very noble use of free speech - in my opinion. Personally, I prefer the shirts at t-shirthumor.com. More political, less hateful.
19 - Moy
They're baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack
20 - Brooke Lee
Ha! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!
Well at least I knew someone got to him, I just never considered they tried to kill him. Geez.
21 - Phillip Winn
Or, possibly, that he would invent a story about a murder attempt and a big drama in order to promote the site. :-)
22 - Brooke Lee
hahahaha! Noooo, then I woulda been a drama queen for nuttin.
Actually I believe his story, first of all because he doesn't need the publicity -- everybody (or nearly everybody) hates him. And the funny thing about folks who hate you? They keep coming back for more and bringing their friends.
Take Howard Stern, Rush Limbaugh and that O'Reilly guy. I hate those guys too, but I never listen to 'em; however their fan base and popularity is due to the fact that so many people hate them, and yet they keep listening to let them know how much they hate them.
In the end: I'd... I'd... *sniff* take a bullet for the T-Shirt Hell guy.
23 - Sunny Mathur
I share the pain of all of oyu in the fact that tshirthell is not as great as it once was, and is somewhat sensored now, but a new and upcomming site that is jsut as funny, and entertaining is www.tshirtcrib.com with t-shirts such as
"By reading this you consent to oral sex"
"Voted most flexible by your boyfriend"
"Michael Jackson is my priest"
"Slept my way to the top"
and many others it looks like it will be force to be rekoned with and is quite funny.
tshirtcrib
24 - jim
Actually, I think he came back out with the "worse than hell shirts"
Could just be the market is shrinking for such slogans.
25 - Richard
Hate to see T-shirt hell go. They always made me laugh.
ShirtPervert has some edgy material like this, but the designs aren't near as good.