I have now heard from about 600 people regarding the good old Top Ten Bands list story, and while some came to scorn, my winning personality (or simply the fact that I wrote back) has turned some into new pals (I have only threatened one emailer this time).
New bud Derek sends word of this hilarious list by Dusty Scott of the "10 worst album covers of all time."
- A friend of mine sent me a link the other day that has kept me entertained with what has become my first top ten list. I guess "bottom 10" would be more appropriate, since it goes from "really bad" to "crime against humanity." The problem with the original website featuring these album covers (Kersbergen has redirected his traffic to this site after his server got all gummed up) is that they were in no particular order and no one wrote any captions. I plan to fix that. Aside from that, I thank the person who gathered and compiled these works of art.
Here is number ten:
- 12 Top Hits (featuring the finest in top hit entertainment)
Have you ever been to one of those parties where everyone sits expectantly and watches two people dance around like retards in a retard shop? Right. No one has, because those parties don't happen. Maybe it was a simpler time when songs like "Poor Little Fool" and "Splish Splash" had some kind of mind controlling power over teenagers. It caused them to pull their pants up too high and wear the worst socks ever made. No wonder there was such condemnation of Rock and Roll in the fifties. Look at what it did to their stupid kids. Granted, this one isn't terribly offensive, but they get worse.
Click over and read on, it only gets better, er, worse.
.jpg?t=20120527181101)
Article comments
1 - Mark Saleski
cripes, i've got that Orleans record.
2 - Chris Kent
I forwarded this list to friends at work recently. I still laugh at it! The Orleans cover really freaks me out. Had they just stepped out of a hot tub or something?!
3 - Eric Olsen
I have the Orleans also, but there is no beating that Timo!
4 - Mark Saleski
it reminds me of that Herbie Mann cover...bllech!
5 - Eric Olsen
I know which one you mean, where he's all blubby and hairy and fondling his flute.
6 - Mark Saleski
icky.
i wanted to post a link to it, but i just don't want to see that photo again.
7 - Jim Carruthers
I remember buying The Butthole Surfers "Hairway To Stephen" at Phantasmagoria (still has the price sticker $9.99 on the shrinkwrap) and the cashier couldn't look at it, she was that revolted.
I was talking with people for a while (yes, people used to hang out in record shops), and when somebody would come up with a copy of the album, she would look away as she rung it up and stuffed the LP into a bag.
Speaking of travesties of packaging, remember how CBS and RCA used to put out generic CD booklets and tray cards (and in the case of RCA, put a terrible CD type logo on the front of the booklet) but not cheesy, just cheap. Which isn't as much fun.
I think my favourite bad album cover is for Tad "Eight Way Santa" which they had to withdraw because it had a photo they found at a garage sale, and the woman in the photo sued because she'd become a born-agin Xian and the photo made her look like a skank.
8 - Jim Carruthers
When it comes to bad record covers, I didn't have to go far for a quick hit, my French 10" rockabilly albums.
Check out the two worst here. If it ever gets sunny (the flash from my camera won't let me get them face on) I can do larger images.
9 - Nyx
I really don't see what's so bad about the Hairway to Steven cover.
Sort of reminds me of Arseface from The Preacher.
10 - Jim Carruthers
I don't know either, all I know is that the cashier would refuse to look at it, she would look over her shoulder while making the sale. It was weird.
11 - Eric Olsen
Man, if you're going to talk about grotesque Butthole Surfer covers, Brown Reason to Live takes at least some of the cake.
12 - JR
Have you ever been to one of those parties where everyone sits expectantly and watches two people dance around like retards in a retard shop?
Um, actually, I have. And I have to say, when the two people dancing are attractive females, the party doesn't necessarily suck.
13 - Frank
Check this one out: http://zonicweb.net/badalbmcvrs (the "Pooh Man" cover is my particular favorite!).