Going back to the pending queue, I realize that it's been another four hours since I heard a peep from anyone in the house. I briefly consider hobbling up the stairs to check for signs of life. Nah, if they needed something they'd have shrieked or rattled their chains.
Next article is fairly straightforward. No attribution for the quoted text, but hell, who cares? Oh, wait. This is looking really familiar. Google. That's what I'll do. Googling the quoted passage, I discover the whole article is simply a collection of paragraphs from the 40 articles on GNews. Another email to the author and the editor group.
On to the next item.
Crap! Was that a mouse that just ran over my foot? Oh, no...it was just the weeds swirling around in the water. Water? Uh oh. Fine, whatever. I'll deal with that later.
The food poisoning is starting to get the best of me. I ignore the rumblings in my belly and publish another four articles. I'm not sure they made any sense, but I hope. I'm a hopeful person.
There are 12 BC Yahoo groups digests in my mailbox. Do I dare read them? Nah. I'll wait.
I finally read EO's email and respond. He sends one back telling me not to worry, he was just curious and wanted to update the affiliates with good news. I quickly check Advance, realize that I forgot to publish the articles I added to the site, make the changes, and publish. I wonder where my template went for the articles. I create a new one. EO's happy. The affiliates are happy. My kid shows up at my side, having gnawed through his restraints, and he wants food. Didn't I just feed him last week? Whatever.
Crap. There goes the power. Damn. I knew I forgot something. Those people at the electric company sure expect a lot, don't they? Money, money, money. I make a call and beg for them to restore service. After all, I can't run the respirator for my boyfriend manually and well, you know. No such luck. It'll be three days before they can turn the power back on. Fine. I pick up the laptop, grab the kid, step over the trash that's collected by the front door and head off to Panera where I can feed my kid AND have free wifi.
I publish another couple articles. Amazing how much faster this goes when one's eaten and had a chance to clear one's brain for a few minutes.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Pat Fish
This is the funniest thing I read in a month.
2 - Mark Saleski
"Look at me! Be with me! I have needs, too!" Men.
...and you wonder why we write blues tunes! ;-)
3 - chantal stone
all that and you still have time to write! splendid!!
4 - Warren
What she doesn't mention is that this is a SLOW DAY for editors!!
lol Great piece. Now, about that article I have pending ...
5 - Christopher Rose
You forgot to mention the vast salary, lavish expenses account and hordes of Thai ladyboys to take care of our every whim...
6 - Amrita
LOL
And hey, did someone say this is a SLOW day? Oh good, coz I have something for you...
7 - Matthew T. Sussman
Those who can't write, edit.
Those who can't edit, paginate.
Those who can't paginate, write.
8 - Bliffle
Great fun!
9 - Natalie Bennett
Matt, you've obviously worked on a newspaper, although my last line would be:
...Those who can't paginate, manage.
10 - Jackie
Cute, very cute! I strive to be an easy edit.
11 - Matthew T. Sussman
I can do you one better:
"Those who can't manage, sign the checks"
12 - Ruthie
This was enjoyable!
13 - Dave Nalle
It's still better than editing was in the old days. Remember hot glue machines?
Dave
14 - Mary K. Williams
Joanie - 'Whatever!' I loved that.
15 - Joanie
Hey, if we can't make fun of ourselves and each other, where's the joy in living?
16 - Purple Tigress
All glamor and fame: that's what we get as editors for Blogcritics.org.
There is an error in your summary: glamour
17 - Mark Bellinghaus
Wonderful!!!!!
18 - Joanie
Purple Tigress, "glamor" is proper American English. As much as I like the added "u", it's not how I grew up spelling it and that's not how my spellchecker is set.
19 - Jackie
I have trouble trusting spellcheckers. The one on Blogger suggests "jackass" in lieu of "Jackie." Waaah! I shouldn't admit it, but I rarely use a spellchecker when I write. I've always been a good speeler (heehee) and was one of those kids decades ago in the National Spelling Bee. I did poorly, but to this day I can look at a word I don't know and often tell it's spelled wrong. So, I end up trusting an actual dictionary. I have yet to find a spellchecker as good as Funk and Wagnall's!
20 - Joanie
I still look things up even if the spellchecker says it's okay. I hit Merriam-Webster and Dictionary.com every time I have even the slightest question. Both insist that glamor is appropriate American English usage.
21 - Scott Butki
Wait, did people really turn in someone elses work? That is lower than low so if so I'm disappointed.
Joan, this is hilarious.
I'm not sure whether to laugh with you or at you
but next time you email I'll be more sympathetic or empathetic or one of those -ic words which I'd look up if I wasn't so lazy.
I think I'll just turn it in like this and let the editors reading it figure out what I meant.
22 - Jackie
I agree with you on "glamor." It's the American English spelling and that's my way, too. I'm just leery of any spellchecker which wants me to change my name to "Jackass." :::sniffle:::
23 - Scott Butki
I say save the extra u's in glamour, colour, and other britishisms for the countries in major need
of vowells, like Yugoslavia.
24 - Elvira Black
Joan:
ROFL! But honestly, I didn't know editors actually have to go to the bathroom. You didn't mention sleep though...
25 - Joanie
What the hell is sleep? I gave that up when I had kids. But that's another story altogether.