Bands, The next time you want to spam someone’s comments box I want you to take an ice scraper and stick it as far as you can down your throat. Then leave it there for a while. Don’t do this “Thanks for adding us” thing and throw in a link to your band. Don’t spam us about your next show because we don’t care. If we do care we will visit your profile or visit your website to get the information. It IS ok to post your shows and announcements in the bulletin section. That’s cool. And for those of you who do it thank you. But using other people’s profiles to plug your crap is annoying and as welcome as the clap. Doing this won’t get you signed. It’ll piss people off and make them hate you.
That said, MySpace has become an addition for me. I’ve gotten into a routine of checking MySpace just to accept requests and to keep people posted on the website. But I don’t get any fun out of it. It’s like checking your email, tons of crap, letters about some prince in Liberia who wants to give you his money, and sometimes something interesting to read. So when I see people brag about the number of “friends” they have and how great MySpace is I feel like taking a thumbtack to my eyeballs. MySpace is really no big deal and there are plenty of reasons to hate it. Hate MySpace? Send me an email and we’ll post the best reasons why below.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Phillip Winn
I didn't even read the whole review, but I love the book you chose to go with this post. Five Simple Steps To Emotional Healing, indeed!
Funny stuff.
2 - J
This entire post is amazing. Bravo.
3 - Cerulean
My Space is proof that a significant proportion of this country is brain dead. For some reason, a lot of females there are pretending to be sensuous and libidinous in a kind of brainless modern way because it is fashionable and a way to get attention. Civilization is dissolving.
4 - Tan The Man
Awesome, another person who reads Gorilla Mask.
5 - Tan The Man
"If you see a hot girl on My Space, do whatever it is you were going to do with your hands and move on."
HAHAHA.... Fun Stuff...
6 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Heh Brandon, i chortled plenty there, man. i wrote a similar thing about the horrors of MySpace back in the day on www.mondoirlando.com I think it might still be linked at the bottom of the front page. i found it to be a half-wise reasonable experience, if only because for every million horrors there are a handful of truly wonderful folks worth bein in touch with. but a tiny handful, mind, amongst reams of depressing degredation.
7 - Nathan
My additions on to this topic:
Bands - I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK! If I wanted to hear your shitty ass screamo "band", I would have found you by now on purevolume or through a friend.
Getting messages - "Hey u r cute, u 1 2 talk some time?" will NOT get a response. I don't care if you are the hottest scene slut I've EVER seen. Internet-English is something that should be punishable by choke fucking someone to death.
As with everything on the internet, what was great 18 months ago is mundane today. Maybe I will just go the fuck back to Friendster.
8 - Electricity
You rant in a blog. And that makes you better? Oh, the possibilities.
9 - Who cares
Who really cares this article/post-up, proves that you have equal amount of time to do nothing but talk about the most retarded crap. No I do not have a myspace. Go write letters to your senators to do something good.
10 - no one special
Who really cares this article/post-up, proves that you have equal amount of time to do nothing but talk about the most retarded crap. No I do not have a myspace. Go write letters to your senators to do something good.
11 - jesse
Man, that article is dead on balls accurate. People who created a account on myspace had nothing better to do in the first place either. A congrugation mostly consisting of full blown losers who look for people to put on their 'friends' list that they don't even know....very pethetic
12 - Tan The Man
It might be a waste of time, but my brother and sister have already found people they lost contact with in grade school. Waste of time yes, but it also saves time in finding people.
13 - biG jAy
Wut the Hanes?? Sounds like someone's got a case of myspace crampyness!! Look just because you dont have any friends... spend friday nights at home... Jack off to J.Lo and have the worlds biggest Star Wars toy collection dosn't make you right... ok so everyone you try to add rejevts yo ass, maybe its because your ugly... but thats cool man dont hante the game, hate the playa HANEZ!!
14 - Bob Hartley
i have myspace. but i use it to stay in contact with my friends (just the people i know in real life) during the summer and maybe after i leave for college. it is a good place to have info on yourself and people you know can go checkup on you and maybe drop you a line. also, you can show all the douchs that have dissed on you all the hot girls you hang out with and leave you comments so they get jealous.
15 - Cerulean
I have been checking out Friendster and it seems a lot classier and less sleazy than MySpace, based on limited knowledge.
16 - -E
Eh, it has some redeeming values. One of the people listed in my fave bands found my profile and added me as their friend. Or at least someone working for him. And it is cool, because now I have an easy link to figure out when he comes through Austin again. That and a bunch of the arts organizations I'm involved with have an account on there to keep you up to date with their goings on.
But then again, I don't find any reasons to check it more than maybe once a month. I prefer TheFacebook, not so much of the spammy stuff going on.
17 - Cerulean
EDITORS The typeface is white here.
I actually read that in the white type. That sounds really cool. On Friendster a famous and very cute person actually has a profile there. That drew my attention to it.
18 - dee
the stuff u wrote made sense... but myspace isnt that bad!
19 - Anam
It's about time someone said it!And I just want to say that I consider myself to be a pretty and attractive girl but I don't have a myspace because I know I'm an intelligent and pretty girl and i don't need strangers to tell me me that and give me that confidence. I think most girls on Myspace who have pictures of them in their bikini's, bras and panties, or trashy party look just that . . . trashy, completely unattractive, and unintelligent. I think its ridiculous that girls who start myspace to keep in contact with their friends end up adding every single guy who tells them their "hottt" (spelled with not 1 t but 3) as their friend. When really they don't even have half as many friends in real life. To all of the Myspacers: get over yourself, you're not as pretty or cool as you think you are.
20 - Cerulean
Yeah, it's about young girls acting sleazy to get attention and power, more than anything. Not unique to MySpace but it reaches it's full flower there. It would be different if they just felt so sexy they could not control it, but I doubt that to be the case.
21 - taffy dave
i hate gayspace. Finally someone agrees.
22 - mary
haha i loved this.. i do have a myspace but everything you said bugs me about it too. its not my life, as it is some peoples' who spend hours on end just adding people so it can look like they're cool. And something you left out-- rambling on in the about me section about boring shit that no one cares for and then saying "im random". Girls loove to do that. and post 'sexy' (actually trashy) pics of themselves waiting desperately to hear responses. i really loved this--way to go
23 - Nikki
Thats fair nough, and I agree for the most part, but you have to agree that MySpace got it right with the simplicity. I have my own blog community and it took me months to convert users from MySpace over to mine. The network is built, people dont want to leave. Its easy for beginners. Someone did something right
24 - erika
omfg you are sooo rite about the addiction to myspace. I am always changing it and seeing who has puit coments on my site ..very bold points you made!kewl
see yas
erika
25 - The Theory
yeah, i don't dig myspace. or friendster. and facebook is the worst.
[Thanks for temporary font fix, The Theory. Comments Editor]