Parody News Of The Week

Tech News

Google and NASA Team Up. Google and NASA plan to cooperate on research projects such as large-scale data management, nanotechnology, and the entrepreneurial space industry. According to a Google spokesperson: "Look, with all the cash we've got we're the only ones who can keep this space exploration thing flying. If the whole idea crashes and burns we'll just say it was in beta. There's got to be data out there and if anyone is going to search space and collect it, it is going to be us."

Dell Plans $100 Computer. Shipping Will Cost $1,999.99. Jumping quickly on the bandwagon, Dell announced today that they would market a $100 computer similar to the one being developed by MIT's Nicholas Negroponte and also being planned by Novatium in India. According to a Dell spokesperson, these computers are aimed at much of the Third World. "We've already moved most of our operations there. It only makes sense. " When questioned about the high shipping costs coming so quickly on the heels of the news that Dell was suspending its free shipping on most low-end computers the spokesman answered, "We've go to make money somehow."

Web 2.0 Is Dead. Web 3.0 Is Here. Just as venture capitalists, developers, and everyone else was starting to gear up for the explosion that would be Web 2.0, someone, somewhere announced that "even though we don't know what it really is yet, we are canceling it and moving on to Web 3.0." The news was quickly followed by a myrmidonic rush to jump on the Web 3.0 bandwagon.

Vista Will Boot In 2-3 Seconds. According to a Microsoft spokesperson, "when everyone has the appropriate hardware, with enough memory, and has absolutely nothing loaded on the computer, we guarantee this will happen the first time the customer turns on the computer. Well, maybe not the first time, you see there's this Windows Genuine Advantage thing you'll have to do first, and then there's all the special offer pop-ups for all the trial versions, and then there's..."

Political News

Judith Miller Sent Back To Jail. According to a spokesperson for Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald's office, "We were surprised and disappointed that she didn't have any new information. Given the release of copies of the letters between her and Scooter Libby, we really had no choice. We figure the only way we're going to get to the bottom of this is to wait until her book is released and she can probably finish it quicker in prison than out in the world.

Article Author: Warner Crocker

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