Though some people blog under their own name, many do not. The reasons are legion, and in my case not to be revealed. No, I'm not a criminal on the run from the thought-police. Though some of my reasons are purely practical, I've also found that having an alter-ego has helped to boost my ...um...real ego as well.
Some people post pictures of themselves on their blogs, which is cool too, especially if they're photogenic. I am not photogenic, and refuse to believe that the typical picture of me looks anything like me at all. The camera not only doesn't love me, but seems intent on mortifying me as well.
In any case, several months ago when I finally figured out how to post a profile "photo" to my blog, I asked my beloved, albeit blog-phobic "BG" to do a sketch I could use that would properly showcase my new blog-persona of Elvira Black.
BG, being a portrait artist, at first tried for verisimilitude. He produced a portrait of me that I hated because it looked too much like the real me. One of the banes of being a portrait artist is that when you are commissioned to do a piece, the client will sometimes be appalled at the results because it looks a little too much like them for their liking. Moreover, they may not even realize that they really do look that way. The truth, as they say, often hurts.
So I filed away BG's "realistic" picture of me, and insisted that he portray me more along the lines of Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. Some of you may not be familiar with this horror film hostess of yore, but she resembles a rather sexy vampire chick with long black hair and very big boobs. And so Elvira Black was born.
When it comes to writers and bloggers, I have to say that I'm usually more than content to simply imagine what they look like. Everyone wants to know what their favorite musician looks like, and I can't think of too many examples of rock stars who don't show their real, albeit glammed up faces and toned bodies to the world at large. But writers don't have to do music videos or concerts, for which most are eternally grateful. Writing is a much more solitary and cerebral (not to mention sedentary) pursuit, so adding a face to the writing is, to my mind, not only superfluous but sometimes detrimental as well.
And so it is that the more I read a "masked" writer's work, the more I imagine I know them, and I compose my own private portrait of them to match. This picture can become so entrenched that if I later see a photo of the real writer, I am sometimes gravely disappointed. Not necessarily because they're ungainly, but simply because they don't fit into the image I've created in my mind for them.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Trinket
Great, great piece! Blogging behind another name just gives you an unimaginable amount of freedom, doesn't it? You get to be a better version of who you already are, but in your own mind it's safer & more comfortable. - or maybe I'm projecting! Either way, I'm with you!
2 - Elvira Black
Trinket:
Precisely! Some bloggers, in fact, reveal the most intimate details of their personal life and the most "forbidden" thoughts and desires--things they might never choose (or dare) to share with even with their own spouses, friends, and colleagues. As you point out, the freedom can be very liberating. Being bipolar, I've also found writing and reading blogs to be the best--and cheapest--therapy I could ever hope to find.
Thanks so much for the comment!
3 - Rohan Venkat
I agree, completely. Although i blog under my real name, I've never met most of the people who visit my blog, and yet am able to 'connect' with them much better than with a lot of the people around the 'real' me. That's another thing about blogging and the internet in general, you get to select the kind of people around you (in terms of interests, mindset etc) to some extent, which is impossible in the 'real' world.
4 - Catana
My blogging persona is really who I am, privacy needs and all. I never imagine what other bloggers might look like, but it's interesting to get insights into who they are.
5 - Scott Butki
Good piece. And here I was thinking you were the real Elvira I grew up with with her slinky revealing dress and making double entendres.
6 - Temple Stark
To me its depressing; that you're "more" everything in psuedo doesn't - as you present it here anyway - say much for your happiness.
7 - Joseph Johaneman
I respect anybody's right to blog anonymously. That being said, I could never do it myself. I'm such a loon about the 1st amendment, that I just can't help taking potshots at politicians and such, knowing that at any minute the Department of Homeland Security will read it and show up at my door, and I want to make sure they know who they're looking for. (not as unlikely as you think. A student, in Mass. I believe, got a visit for the DHS because he ordered Mao's Little Red Book through interlibrary loan for a class project.) I relish the thought of standing there screaming "ACLU!" while they take me away to a secret dungeon never to be heard from again. Maybe it's the bipolar lunatic in me, I don't know. I want everyone who reads it to know who I am. Maybe I'm just a megalomaniac.
And to the Department of Homeland Security: Bring it on fellows!
8 - Temple Stark
I should've added that it doesn't mean you've nothing to offer. This was written well, it was just very depressing.
9 - Mat Brewster
Ah now Temple, its not really depressing. There are millions of shy people all over the globe. If blogging lets Miss Black break out of her shell and meet lots of people, and make friends then I say hoorah!
10 - Paula
The mystery of who is behind the blog only adds to the fun and the drama of blogging. I am not completely anonymous on my blog, but I don't reveal my whole identity, either.
I agree with you that anonymnity gives us bloggers a new freedom to be ourselves; more of ourselves, occasionally, than in "real life". We sometimes pay the price, though, if we go to far!
11 - Christopher Rose
Hi Elvira, another great read from Ms Black. Totally know where you're coming from on this. I'm known as Alienboy in my blogging and gaming life and was also for the first few months here. I wish I was only bipolar though!
12 - Sterfish
While I have a specific name on the net, I don't truly blog anonymously. I can understand where you're coming from, though. For one thing, I actually go by my middle name on my blog. This is because it's the name I prefer since my dad and I share the same first name. I go by my middle name with family and friends but at work (and some other dealings), I go by my first name. I don't look at the names as personas...I look at them as stage name (my middle name) versus legal name (my first name).
I also see the appeal of blogging anonymously and creating a persona. Sometimes, I want to say certain things about people I know but I don't because it's quite possible that they will either find my blog or that they read my blog. I've thought about creating an anonymous rant blog. Since I like to sometimes (try to) write fiction, I have also played around with the idea of writing a completely fictional blog as a sort of continuing online "literary" work. I sort of tried this out on April Fool's Day 2005 where I wrote posts as several different fake bloggers.
Despite some of the fascination I have with writing from a different perspective, I ultimately decided not to truly create an online persona separate from myself. Until I was in college, I basically created "personas" to deal with friends and acquaintances. The people I talked hip-hop with in high school would have no idea that I was starting to like Radiohead just as much even if they assumed that just based on the fact I was a little nerdy looking. When I created my blog, it gave me the freedom to be myself. It may be a mishmash of sorts...but I'm kind of a mishmash myself.
Anyway, thanks for such an interesting (and thought-provoking) post Elvira!
13 - gonzo marx
well now, i certainly wouldn't know anything about remaining anonymous....nope...not me
but as we have always said...
i'm a schizophrenic
and so am i
nuff said?
Excelsior!
14 - Elvira Black
Wow, thanks so much for all the great comments. If this were my own blog, I'd answer each one individually, but somehow I don't think that would be good form on a Blogcritics forum. So since everyone but Temple seemed pretty much in agreement as to where I was going with this, I'll address the rest of my comment to him.
Temple, at first glance I thought your comment was gratuitously negative. But actually, you have quite an excellent point. As I've often pointed out on my blog, I've been struggling for the past 9-odd months with the realization that for me blogging has become an addiction that has made me neglect my "real" life to an unhealthy degree. Yes, I make light of it, but it doesn't make it any less true.
Thing is that some people may think that cultivating fellow bloggers as one's main circle of friends is depressing. I disagree. I think that's old-school, pre-digital thinkspeak. Even living in NYC, I doubt I could ever encounter so many terrific, fascinating people from around the country and the world--people I don't have to engage in boring small talk; people who cut to the chase and say what's on their mind. Folks I can converse with intelligently and in depth. In addition, I'm a member of an ever-growing bipolar blogring, which means I have access to others suffering from the same condition I do, who understand more than I can convey in words what it means to struggle with a major mental illness.
However. There is still something to be said for exercise, fresh air, and sunshine. For engaging in real as well as virtual activities. For breaking out of my comfort zone and perhaps trying to befriend more flesh and blood friends as well as cyberpals.
In any case, although my post may have depressed you, and despite my caveat above, I have to admit that I've never been happier in my life. As a writer, blogging is the best thing that ever happened to me, and joining Blogcritics has only added to my newfound joy.
Aside from that, Temple, I think you may actually have a bit of the psychic in you. It just so happens that early this morning, my boyfriend of seven years threw me out of his Bronx apartment. I'm now hanging at my downtown Manhattan coop, which I still share with my ex-boyfriend (of 20 years). We're in the process of getting the place ready to sell so we can each get a place of our own, so perhaps it's all for the best.
Although I do have a personal blog, and I do share my innermost thoughts there, I don't usually get into the deep dirt of my life. Today will be an exception, as I've just posted there in more excruciating detail about my breakup with BG.
Again, many thanks to you all for your great comments.
15 - Christopher Rose
HEyy Elvira, all I can say is, based on your writing alone, I love you madly and the BG dood must be a total dimwit! And Temple seemed to be in a bit of a low mood yesterday, I'm sure he would admit.
I hope things get better for you soon. Don't be a stranger...
16 - Lisa McKay
Elvira, you may be surprised some day to find your 'real' persona and your blogging persona converging. I think anonymity allows us to uncover and develop aspects of our selves that we are perhaps too inhibited to express otherwise - but there's nothing there that ain't already there, if you get my drift. If Elvira is a cool chick, it's because Ms. X is a cool chick underneath it all.
Welcome to Blogcritics!
17 - Temple Stark
I was just going by what you wrote here Elvira and comemnted to that; I don't know you from Athena. It's just that I've met and know and read quite a lot aobut people who withdraw into a fake perosna to escape. That seemed, for the most part, what you were describing.
It was a first impression based on that writing. I am, of course, happy that you're happy.
Speaking of, Chris, yesterday was the best day I've had in a little while as far as making time for myself and doing abslutely nothing. So rare. So rare. I played on my new laptop, edited photos, and watched the National Football League games. Seahawks get to play Washington and that's a good thing as well.
I'm finishing up a book review for my newspaper, my site and here, and I'm going to write an op-ed based on, coincidentally, "first impressions" of the new city where I work. It's about hearing so much negative about the city for so long, only to find there is a lot underneath the drug reputation, including a great amount of generosity.
18 - Temple Stark
Also, (sorry I was just reminded as I saw the line again) what perhaps got me thinking along the line I first commented was the paragraph about not being photogenic. As a professional news photographer myself I hear that line so many times and it's just so much bullshit. I say, 95 percent of people say they don't look good in photos and 5 percent have a reason. At least you didn't say, "I break cameras." I hear that almost every time I point my camera at someone new. In a way it's the natural modesty of people and I find it charming.
19 - Eric Olsen
testing- what's up?
20 - Eric Olsen
hmm, seems to work okay for me
21 - Elvira Black
Eric: Thanks for checking. I guess it's working ok now, but I definitely lost a few of my comments that were previously posted here and elsewhere.
To Christopher, Lisa, and Temple: if you have any occasion to wander here again, I'd left a response to your kind comments the other day, but somehow it's been deleted--some technical prob, I guess. I'll go back and see if I can cut and paste it in again. And thanks again for commenting.
22 - Walker
I dare to say that Elvira is a liar.
Ms X is Elvira, she just wants to spread the wealth of her personna.
Besides she is just avoiding the Paparazzi so she could go out and get a decent meal without being photographed eating at her favorite greasy spoon.
Whats a handle or alias but a means for privacy.
I can't see you being any different in you name or as Elvira.
We can't hide who we are as I can't.
Walker is exactly who I am in real life even though its not my real name.
23 - Temple Stark
I did see your reply Elvira. It was great. You should have got copies of all comments to your threads in your e-mail. Like this one?
24 - Elvira Black
Walker:
As always, beautifully put and right on. In some ways, Elvira is more Ms. X than Ms. X. Moreover, when I note that, after reading your excellent blog for so long, I feel like I know you as a friend, I also know that the Walker you present is the genuine article.
Lisa, I believe you brought up a similar point in your comment above, and I thank you.
25 - Elvira Black
Temple:
Many thanks. I will go back and dig through those posts when I can and paste the missing stuff back here. But I'm glad you saw the comment, and thus know how much I appreciated yours.