There is a cry ringing (or should I say "clanging"?) out across the land, a burning fever that must be satiated: everywhere you look people are practically begging for more cowbell.
Ever since Will Ferrell played Blue Öyster Cult cowbell soloist Gene Frenkle in a SNL parody of Behind the Music, "more cowbell" has been galloping across the web and inundating our culture. (For a ridiculously straight-faced exploration of the phenomenon, check Wikipedia's "more cowbell" entry.)
Now there's no better arbiter of culture and taste than Google. And since they're bound to replace the Library of Congress within the next five years and the entire U.S. government within the next 10, we sure better listen to what they say. I conducted a Google search for "more cowbell" today and got an astonishing 3,100,000 hits. Sure, that doesn't compare to George Bush's 44,800,000 hits or Britney Spears' 34,000,000, but 3.1 million Google hits is heavy hitting on the web.
For the sake of comparison, you would need to combine the results for Rutherford B. Hayes, James Polk, James Garfield, William Howard Taft, Chester Arthur, Grover Cleveland and Zachary Taylor to equal the number of hits for "more cowbell" alone. That's a lot of mediocre presidents!
"More cowbell" has even outstripped its source material. Compare 3.1 million hits to 2,940,000 for Will Ferrell and 1,860,000 for Blue Öyster Cult. Poor producer Bruce Dickinson, played with trademark creepiness and panache by Christopher Walken, musters only 807,000 hits when you filter "Iron Maiden" (different guy—less cowbell, more fencing) out of the mix.
If we can trust Google as a fame-meter (and Google says we can, nay, must), "more cowbell" is about as famous as mid-echelon stars like Brittany Murphy (3.2 mil.) and Nick Lachey (3.4 mil.), and the cowbell didn't even have to marry Jessica Simpson. "More cowbell" even holds its own against another dominant craze in American Culture: American Idol. Check out these stats:
Kelly Clarkson—3,950,000Looks like America's calling out for a new idol! Here are a few more standards of comparison from my scientific-ish research that leave "more cowbell" looking pretty good:
Clay Aiken—3,240,000
More Cowbell—3,100,000
Carrie Underwood—2,630,000
Paula Abdul—2,270,000
Simon Cowell—1,250,000
Ruben studdard—904,000
Bo Bice—733,000
William Hung—716,000
Ryan Seacrest—563,000
Randy Jackson—413,000
Fantasia Barrino—350,000
Article comments
1 - Eric Olsen
hilarity, classic, love the video!
Bruce Dickinson is a made-up character, by the way: the real producers of "Reaper" were Murray Krugman and Sandy Pearlman
2 - Pete Blackwell
According to my extensive research, the non-Iron Maiden Bruce Dickinson does in fact exist. From the Washington Post:
Don't make me sic Google on your ass!3 - Mark Saleski
love those 'hit lists'! fantastic.
i also loved the more cowbell sketch...though it ruined Don't Fear The Reaper for me, for while anyway.
4 - Pete Blackwell
Absolutely. Can't listen to it without really "feeling" the cowbell.
5 - Matthew T. Sussman
"Michael Moore Cowbell" is a lean 135,000.
6 - Mark Saleski
Blogcritics---2,160,000
More Cowbell--3,100,000
7 - Pete Blackwell
Blogcritics +"more cowbell""689. Alas.
690 after today, I guess.
8 - Stephen V Funk
check out my drummer friend Geoff's hilarious report from the "more cowbell" front lines...
"More cowbell: no more" at
http://stevergo.diaryland.com/060126_67.html
9 - Tan The Man
The sad thing is that the song is really good. The good - the song and the band get more exposure. I love Blue Oyster Cult. The bad - people laugh whenever they hear the cowbells. Tough...
10 - Duane
Will Ferrell was funny in the SNL sketch, but I think a lot of credit should go to Christopher Walken for delivering the "more cowbell" line in his own inimitable style.
11 - RJ Elliott
Hilarious post!
But it needed just a little more cowbell... ;-P
12 - Victor Plenty
I've never even seen this sketch, but all the references to it on the Net have made me hypersensitive to the cowbell in any radio track where I happen to hear it. Oddly, I can't tell whether this heightened awareness makes me crave more cowbell, or less. From the first time I hear the bell, I listen intently for it the whole time a song plays, and then when it ends, find myself happy the thing is over.
13 - Gordon Hauptfleisch
So what's the correct term: Cowbellist, Cowbeller, Cowbellter, Cowamabellist (as in Homer Simpson's "saxamaphone"), Cowbell Ringer (or does that pertain just to musician entered in a competition under false pretenses), or just plain Cowbell Player?
And is the term "virtuoso Cowbell Player" mutually exclusive? Is a virtuoso Cowbell Player someone who can play till the cows come home?
And what do you call a writer of Cow-belles-lettres, the light, stylish Cowbellian criticisms that touch on the literary or intellectual aspects of the cowbell? A Cowbelletrist?
Points to not neccessarily ponder...
14 - Victor Plenty
Percussionist.
15 - Gordon Hauptfleisch
oh.
16 - Victor Plenty
On this site, though, just about everybody leans toward the Cowbelletrist side of things.
17 - Matthew T. Sussman
Look, I loved this post and it was wonderfully executed, but I clicked on that Google search for "more cowbell" and only came up with 852,000 results.
Note the difference:
GS for "more cowbell"
GS for more cowbell
Hate to be the bearer of bad news.
18 - Pete Blackwell
Yes, there was an article a few weeks ago (or was it on the email thread?) about Google discrepancies depending on what Google "node" you're searching from. First time I did the search, I got 3,100,000. Then later I got something like 899,000. I Googled "more cowbell" from home this morning and got 3,200,000 hits. Blame Google, man, don't blame the cowbell.
19 - Pete Blackwell
Here is that article, from Jan. 31:
http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/01/31/224738.php
20 - Pete Blackwell
http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/01/31/224738.php
Now, hotlinked for your convenience!