A gentle warning to young or up-and-coming IT professionals: keep your professional identity a secret! Guard your privacy like a superhero, because before you can say "what do you mean reboot?", you'll be the neighborhood troubleshooter, constantly on call to save the day.
I'll be the first to admit that I mistakenly admitted, years ago, that I'm a professional programmer. That doesn't mean that I can turn a PC into a toaster or that I build anti-virus-spam-bio-domes in my garage. It just means that every week, I trade a bunch of clackety-clack-click-thunks for a slightly-higher-than-median income paycheck that gets filtered through my checking account (or temporary economic holding facility) and delivered directly to Countrywide Home Loans and the Sire Bar & Grill. But don't take this wrong - it's an altogether fabulous life — after all, we're walking distance from the Sire.
Every Monday through Thursday, I get up at the same time as every employee on the West Coast and go to work. The difference is that I travel just one mile, whereas most other West Coast employees are a long helicopter flight away. My four to six minute commute, occasionally complicated by a passing train carting those who have neither the means nor opportunity to procure a whirly-bird, is littered with deep, incisive thoughts of software designs, network uptimes, operating system paradigms and all manner of tech-talk thoughts.
OK, not really. I used to think a bit about these sorts of things, but not any more; I'm too distracted by the miracles of existence, like the peanut butter, asparagus and rat fur pizzas they serve at local "gourmet" joints. Maybe it's because much of Southern California's water comes from Canada that the pizza doesn't measure up to New York or New Haven. Then again, it's probably just the rat fur.
By the time I actually get to work and immediately walk over to the local coffee shop, I reconsider the miracle that "PlanetBucks" coffee is the sludgiest, bitter, rotten goo to ever pass through a filter, yet four have just sprung up in the past few months — where was I?
Programming. I stare at a screen. I drink coffee. I type things. I observe obsolescence take over last year's work, and quickly encroach upon current projects. That's it — a sort-of-logic through a buzzing box and a cathode ray tube. Sometimes I remind myself that the intensity of the radiation emitted by the tube is inversely proportional to the square of the distance between it and my face, and I thank my lucky stars that I have long arms.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Aaman
Brilliant post - one totally understands:)
2 - Elvira Black
LOLOL!
Doesn't matter what you say, Brian--I will forever imagine you as that nerdy yet dishy "computer expert" from those AOL commercials (Spam? Blocked! Spyware? Zapped!). On alternate days, I will envision you parachuting down from the sky to save me and my ilk a la Geek Squad.
Um, do I get any points for using a Mac?
3 - Brian Sorrell
Mac = very cool, hence big points.
I like the vision of me parachuting, showering the world with frantic obscenities, wondering how I ever got in such a pickle. This is much like programming :)
4 - JELIEL
Sublime post. Well inspired.
But as a computer geek with a snappy title I'll say that most coders are not techies, they have delusions of techiness ;-) I couldn't code a hello world app. But leave the networking to me...
5 - Mark Saleski
great post. as a software engineer, i have the problem of convincing people that i'm NOT a techie.
folks assume that because i write software i'm the guy to ask when they have trouble installing a new soundcard or..well, take your pick of hardware/windows troubles.
no way. i stay away from that stuff.
ps. this browswer is running on a linux machine. maybe not as cool as a mac, but cool enough.
6 - Lisa McKay
Brian, as a New Havener, I'm interested in knowing one thing - Pepe's or Sally's?
7 - Mark Saleski
New Haven? woa...i haven't been to Toad's Place in years (ok...make that 'decades')
8 - Brian Sorrell
Lisa, I grew up just outside the south end of Hartford, so for me it was always Vito's or Luna. I can't remember now whether Pepe's or Sally's, but let me tell you, this California Pizza Kitchen is pure junk. Blech!!!
If you can send me just a slice of Vito's... Mmmmm, with roasted peppers :)
(Linux + Firefox = Internet heaven)
9 - reggie von woic
LOL!!!
That conversation-hillarious. I'd probably have swung a punch by the third question.
Well i'm not a programmer or a techie, but this post does apply to other stuff i go through.
Great Read!!
10 - Joanie
Bravo!
Rat fur pizza, indeed.
11 - jeckil
get the "No I wont' fix your computer" shirt from think g33k.. So far it has helped wonders.
12 - Niels
Nice article. One way to solve your problem is to wear this *wonderful* T-shirt ;)
13 - Abe Froman
I stopped telling people I work on computers and that I'm a proctologist. People don't ask me for help anymore.
14 - Ryan Azar
Very nice post. I aggree entirely. It is frusterating when someone asks me a question about an app I have never used before, then gets offended when I say "I don't know." Good to know it doesn't only happen to me :)
15 - Rectangleboy
you'd make a great teacher.
16 - dougie
I know your pain.
17 - The Crow
Yeah CPK sucks. There are plenty of small mom and pop pizza joints in Riverside that have great pizza. Sire’s? Seriously I hope you only go there because it is in walking distance. Loved the article.
18 - Brian Sorrell
True Crow, there are some good places for pie -- that I can't deny. I'm just saying that by-and-large, you have to search, unlike the east coast where everywhere is amazing.
Yeah, the Sire is so bad that it looped back to good -- after a few of their ridiculously stiff beverages. And what with the new plaza, there are better places to wash away programming-pain. Within walking distance. Thank god for walking distance!
Glad you all are enjoying the read :)
19 - Brian Sorrell
I can't tell if that's a personal attack or an attack on grammar....?? Hmmm....
20 - luckyrucksack
"ritious"?
Jeezus.