I upload what I have. I admit, the upload is amazingly fast – ten times faster than the old Sanyo, so I’m impressed that my shitty pictures are being uploaded that much faster, but really, what have I gained I ask myself. I go to Sprint to check out the pictures. They are tiny. Not small. But tiny. They are not normal size. It seems that if you use the automatic timer, the pictures come out smaller. Just to see, I try a few shots holding the camera back from my face – these come out normal size, even bigger than the old phone, but still, grainy and ghostly.
No problem, I say. That’s why I have software like PhotoShop and the like. I take my photos in there and try to resize them. No go. They are locked and will not be resized. When I do find a program that will let me resize them (Microsoft’s Photoeditor), I am sad to see that their tiny size from before makes the blow up that much more grainy and hard to decipher. Overall, there is a profound loss of quality in these pictures versus the old camera. More, I have great difficulty using the self-timer and it seems if I do, I am to make peace with sometimes and for no reason that is clear to me, receiving miniature pictures and sometimes receiving normal size pictures that are overly blue in tone (and no, I cannot fix this with any feature – I keep trying.) Meanwhile, my friends online keep telling me how cool the blue-tone effect to my latest shots is, and how they are enjoying the series of “miniatures” or “blue miniatures” as they become known, but when am I going back to my regular work of full-size format and without the grain?
Well, I’d love to let them know but it seems this camera not only has a mind of its own and will make miniatures if it feels like it, but more, it is harder to use, the self-timer feature makes no sense relative to where the lens is because you are constantly being shot from an angle that is either too high or too low, since the lens is not straight –on, so you look like a pin-head or like you have several chins. Either way, it’s unflattering and oh, yes, you’re blue and miniature; the effect is sort of arty, but a bit frightening, like I’ve ran out of oxygen or been poisoned by one of those weird toxins we’re all so afraid of. In any event, these are not what I would call flattering pictures, even if they did make for a nice mini-series, they are not what we want for the long haul.