Yes, it is fantastic to have lost 40 pounds in the last six months, and I feel a real sense of accomplishment, but that’s a dangerous feeling, too, because it enables me to sometimes lose sight of the real goal. I don’t want to be 260; I want to be 240, but 260 is the reality I am dealing with now. When I look at it stupidly, I am okay with that reality, and maybe a little unwilling to change that. I didn’t feel that way at 290 or 280 because those weights were way off of the goal. At 270, there was accomplishment for losing 100 pounds total from the start, but I couldn’t really appreciate it because I was only halfway to the current goal.
At 260, I am turning the corner to the final third of the weight loss, and I am proud of the fact that I look different than I ever have. I am 15 pounds below my previous nadir, and only 20 pounds (or about two good months) from nailing the goal weight. So it creates a bit of false pride, I suppose.
The Length of the Diet
I’ve been brooding for six months about what I eat, planning off days and workouts and everyday meals, staying away from most social situations for fear that I will fall off the wagon, spending an inordinate amount on groceries, yet still going to Subway three times per week. It wears on you a little bit. That’s just the way it is.
It’s been a bit of a grind trying to do this, which is why it takes such strong discipline to make it work. Now it is summertime, and things are happening that I want to be a part of. A big part of me wants to drink, eat, and socialize, but I still haven’t convinced myself I can do that and still minimize the consequences.
I understand now that I can’t ever go back to the way I was eating before the two diets began. I know the basic skeleton of this diet must stick with me for life if I want to keep this weight off, but I also know that once this is over, I can relax a little bit, and do the things I really want to do. So after six months, I am trying to bring those things back into my life prematurely, while loosening the grip on the diet. As we know, though, it’s got to be a total commitment until the finish because 40 pounds isn’t good enough when you want to lose 60. Sorry, it just isn’t.
Article comments
1 - Guy
That posting was a paragraph shy of being a novella - but pretty good. You do an awful lot of thinking in that giant head of yours. On ym end I'm sorry about the trail off in comments. I know my words are the inspiration you need to keep going- but am dealing with a lot of the same issues you are with the change to summer: i.e. people like to grill meat and drink delicious beers in the summer and I like to join them. That has lead to a month long off day starting with the Kentucky Derby and hopefully ending last weekend.
So we've got a bit of a countdown going on here. I know you have the resolve to keep the ship on course. You will feel a billion times better about this trip home if you finish strong. Think of Coach Carp (may he rest in peace) - not the times when he was mocking you as you made your way to the opposite side of the track, but the whole part about finishing hard.
Even though numbers don't matter that much - if you want to set your sights on something then 240 is a lofty goal. Try for it- don't go lax and start eyeing 250, because before you know it it will be 2 weeks before you board the plane and you'll be thinking , "just maintain 260". Don't make fucking excuses just do the work. Eat the salad, go to the gym, enjoy the success and then one day rule the world and appoint me Ambassador to the Netherlands.
Talk to you later.