I guess I can say things aren’t going incredibly well right now. No real danger, mind you, but mentally I am just a little bit off.
I skipped the gym on Tuesday (and Monday if I’m being honest), and I am not all that enthralled about going on Wednesday. The smart thing would be to not think about it - just wake up tomorrow, get my shoes on, and go. Oh, and I will put shorts on, too, and a shirt; but after that, I should definitely go.
I suppose the mental blocks are part of this whole thing. Good days, bad days, right? I’ll just have to fight through it using the underlying theme of this whole thing: It doesn’t matter how I feel now, so long as I am productive.
That’s why I am sitting here at 2 a.m., hungry and tired and keeping myself from checking what’s in the fridge. That’s the thinking that keeps me on the elliptical machine for a few minutes longer when I am sick of doing the same motion 4,000 times.
Really, that’s what has to happen throughout: long-term gratification over short-term gratification. Isn’t that the key to a happy life? Well, that’s what M. Scott Peck said in The Road Less Traveled, a book I was assigned to read in high school, but never got past the first page. Luckily, that first page was all about delaying gratification. Thanks M. Scott!
When the urges set in, my mind has to move toward the goal. That’s the only thing that matters at this point.
It’s hard, for sure. It’s hard to resist everything I’ve ever known. It’s hard to say no to the one thing I really want right now. It’s hard not to envision a fresh start tomorrow, and it’s hard to truly see a goal that doesn’t seem to be getting any closer.
Article comments
1 - Diana Hartman
There's no way in hell I would've lost 40 pounds in a year’s time had I not done two very important things: played racquetball several times a week, and provided myself with things I could eat whenever I wanted.
Keeping anything "forbidden" in the house would've spelled disaster for me. It would've been like self-mutilation to buy stuff I knew I couldn't/shouldn’t eat and then wake in the night tormented with thoughts of what was there and having to tell myself "no."
To hell with that.
I bought every different kind of fruit and vegetable there was, bought more of what I liked, and fixed these up just for the person I knew I would become in the middle of the night: a tired, clouded thinker with little ability to resist feeding my hunger. I'm not a nice person when I'm tired or hungry. Tired and hungry? No exercise/motivation platitude would have gotten the person I was through those nights.
Be sensitive to the person you know you’re going to be " not just in a year, but also tonight. In fact, the needs of the person you’re going to be tonight is more urgent because it is that person who will be the only reason you ever get to your goal.
Be thoughtful and kind to the person you know you are in the middle of the night " or anytime of the day or night. If you know you wake up hungry in the night, then make sure you have something ready.
To add flavor, I dabbled every veggie treat with olive oil (cos good fats beat up bad fats, especially when there are more of the former than the latter) and fresh ground pepper. Light ranch dressing was nice, but a little paprika on hummus piled on triscuits is even better. Even better than that are any number of soups specifically designed to help make you sleepy (see recipe below).
I've heard thousands of times that eating at night is bad - and sure as hell, no one should be putting away some hard-to-digest meatloaf at 3:00 in the morning. HowEVER, veggies and hummus in the night will do you just fine - and it will sure as hell work a lot better than tormenting yourself with waking nightmares of what's in the fridge, what can't I have, and what fresh hell is this that I must refrain from eating?
Who can sleep (much less get a good night’s rest) with thoughts like that parading through your mind? What a horrible way to expect yourself to start the day " tired and denied? Again, to hell with that.
Buy lots of what’s good for you, and eat lots of it whenever you want. Keep up the exercise and always, always be mindful of who you are and who you’re going to be.
Sleepy Lettuce Soup
Page 98 of You Are What You Eat cookbook by Dr Gillian McKeith
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 large onion, peeled and chopped
1 garlic clove, peeled and crushed
450g potatoes, peeled and cut into 2cm cubes
1 litre filtered water
2 teaspoons wheat-free vegetable bouillon powder
8 tablespoons millet
1 large romaine lettuce, washed and roughly shredded
4 tablespoons chopped fresh chervil or fresh parsley
Heat the oil with a little water in a large saucepan.
Add garlic & onion and cook for 3 " 4 mins, stirring occasionally.
Add the potatoes and cook for a further 2 mins.
Add 1 litre of water, together with bouillon powder and millet.
Bring to the boil, then lower heat and simmer for 15 mins or until vegetables are tender when pierced with a knife.
Add the lettuce and cook for 2 " 3 mins or until just wilted.
Allow to cool before blending in a food processor or with a hand held blender until smooth, along with half of the fresh chervil or fresh parsley.
Return to the pan to re-heat, adding a little water if necessary.
Divide between warmed soup bowls and serve garnished with the remaining fresh chervil or fresh parsley.
Try to use all certified organic or biodynamic produce, if possible.
Lettuce has diuretic qualities, so it’s great for weight loss. It is also good for sufferers of oedema, swollen ankles and yeasty problems such as thrush. It also contains a compound that is relaxing to the nervous system, so will help you sleep.
2 - Alexandria
Wow! What Diana said so beautifully.
(minus the hummus and the wilted lettuce soup).
Sounds like you had yourself a case of the "poor me's" last night. Don't get me wrong, I'm not insulting you. What I say is, when you're feeling like that, really give in to it. Give yourself a big pity party. Then move on.
It does suck that you have to restict yourself while others can eat whatever they like. It does suck that the days of just watching what you eat are gone and now you do have to commit to the gym. It does suck that you've been doing this a long time and are plateau-ing. The whole thing sucks.
Give yourself a break. And no, I don't mean an off day. The break is that you're human. So as Diana said, be kind to the person who is feeling crappy, because he is going to make or break this fortress in the long run. PERMIT yourself to feel like that, but really get into the feeling so that when you wake up, you're ready to face another day.
I LOVE self-pity parties. I "woe is me" for a while (privately) then I'm ready to move on. somehow, giving yourself permission to feel sorry for yourself seems to help. I guess it was years of adults saying, "Who said life is fair???" that makes people think they can't feel sorry for themselves. Do it. Enjoy it.
THEN GET YOUR ASS TO THE GYM, DAN.
Check back in with us (maybe by responding to our comments here rather than a whole new post). I want to know this wave has passed. I need to know you shook this off. And I want to know you forced yourself back to the gym. DO IT.
~lovingly and supportively.
Selma
3 - Gigi
Hang in there! This whole losing weight thing is a roller-coaster ride-hope your back on the upswing today.
4 - Alexandria
Dan? DAN!!!
ARE YOU OK????????
5 - Alexandria Jackson
OK, now you're just messin' with me.
6 - Guy
Well I know Dan is still alive because he checked in from the Oakland Raiders draft party Saturday afternoon. But all this time off from the blog probably isn't a good sign as to how thinks went after last Wednesday's posting.
Quit trying to get Darren McFadden quotes and get back on the elliptical Dan.