WASHINGTON, DC--President Bush on Monday nominated Robosapien, a remote controlled biomorphic robotic wonder, as the first secretary for the newly created Department of Robotics.
"Robosapien is more than a robot," Bush said in announcing his decision at a Rose Garden press conference. "He's the perfect fusion of technology and personality. And he's just what we need to keep the Terminators from destroying mankind."
"As his first order of business, I've put Robo in charge of "terminating" California's governor, who, our intelligence shows, is actually a Terminator sent back from the future and is just masquerading as the governor," said Bush.
The President said the intelligence also shows this same Terminator is behind the recent push for a constitutional amendment allowing foreign-born citizens to become President. "Of course he's behind it," said Bush. "Because while the Terminator currently running California was born in America, he was born in a future America, which, my advisors assure me, qualifies as a foreign land. Plus, as a functioning automaton encased in living tissue, technically, he wasn't even "born." So that's two strikes against him right there. No wonder he wants to amend the constitution so badly."
However, according to the President, the American people have no interest in electing a Terminator as President, no matter where, or when, he was "born."
"Why go to all that trouble amending the constitution when we already have a cold, calculating and heartless machine running the country now?" he asked. "What do they think Dick Cheney is anyway, chopped circuitry?"
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