I took this combination of events to mean that I was supposed to see this. So, I've been over and over on audio and now on video with Stubby Kaye singing the praises of the founding father of Dawgpatch, the legendary Confederate general "Jubilation T. Cornpone."
What do you have set as the home page in your browser?
My own domain, www.morethings.com. That's not particularly an ego thing, but a practical working point. I spend the biggest part of my time working up the site, and I go to that home page typically many times a day copying links or bits of code for other pages.
Who was your idol as you were growing up?
I had to look up a dictionary definition. Seeing that an idol is "an image used as an object of worship," probably my first great idol was Loretta Lynn. I would have had absolutely no vocabulary for the adoration at the time, but she was hitting her prime about the time my parents were divorcing in the late sixties as I was starting school. Loretta was and remains a top personal icon of womanhood, a good mother substitute.
As a proud slayer of sacred cattle, I'm not that big on "idols." But maybe the coolest guy I knew growing up that I would have wanted to be like was probably Brother Eugene Kemple, one of our elders in the Arlington Christian Church. He was a great model of a Christian, one of the couple of people I've known who was closest to actually acting on the model of Jesus of Nazareth. He was also a lay scholar and scientist with an enquiring mind. Wrote a story about him, yes I did.
What are three items you would need to have on a desert island?
In the proper spirit of the question, I'll discount practical things such as shovels and axes, and I'll presume I can't have a cell phone to talk to the thug's Ma.
The one main personal luxury I'd need would be some kind of iPod with maximum hard drive and solar power. Give me 80GB of tuneage, and I wouldn't miss most people that much. Maybe a video iPod with some pictures and the footage of the thug's Ma pacing the hall of the maternity ward with me the day after delivery, still hooked to IVs, pushing the thug up and down the hall while we're singing "Walking the Floor Over You." That'd go a long way towards comforting my days.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Phillip Winn
This is one of the funniest things you've ever written, Al:
2 - duane
That was funny about the dog. The low-keyed approach followed by the surprising punchline reminds me of a Steve Martin joke -- something like:
"I'm so depressed about my girlfriend. Umm ... she's not among the living anymore. I guess I kinda blame myself. Yeah, see we were at a party and we had an argument. She had been drinking a little and she demanded that I drive her home. I refused. She continued to insist. I didn't want to drive her home, so I shot her."
I don't usually comment on Al's posts, but I usually read them and the predictable arguing that ensues. I just wanted to say that, regardless of who I think is right or wrong about the various issues (and he is, of course, wrong about Skynyrd), I have always been impressed with Al's ability to respond to attacks, even personal attacks, with grace and often a sense of self-deprecating humor. That's refreshing.
3 - Dave Nalle
That is some funny shit. Nearly as funny as his praise of my sorry confused ass in the interview.
A pity Lisa chose to use my nice quote instead of my critique of Al's scary beard which I also offered as an option.
Dave
4 - gonzo marx
/Jamaican accent
BOO, big Al dissin' Hunter da writer...
HOORAAAAAY BEER!
/end accent
gratz Al
Excelsior?
5 - Silas Kain
Al is the antithesis of everything a gay man wants in another man. I love you, Al Barger.
6 - Gordon Hauptfleisch
Congrats, Al!
7 - Glen Boyd
I don't always agree with Mr. Barger, but he is hands down my favorite guy to read on BC because I always find myself laughing out loud at his rather unique take on things.
Whether he's duking it out with fans of the Dixie Chicks or egging on the likes of Rubberneck (the guy who's posted over 100 angry posts on my review of Neil Young's Living With War CD) or even going toe to toe with Mother Mary herself, Al's quick, acerbic wit meets them blow for blow everytime.
He is without a doubt a very intelligent, and very, very funny man.
And you BC editors may have just opened up a whole new can of worms by giving Uncle Al what ammounts to a mandate.
::::Shhhuuuder:::::
Congrats Al.
-Brother Boyd
8 - Martin Lav
Al,
I hate that you gave props to a sandwich over Neil Young, but you are a good writer and I congratulate you on your honor.
Martin
9 - Matthew T. Sussman
Omitted from the annals of this rather amusing Q&A is the fact that somewhere on CNN's server there exists a picture of the Senatorial hopeful, because they like to have photographs of candidates. Now if only someone could find it...
... Oh, here it is.
10 - gonzo marx
Suss, yer a naughty boy!!
heh..thanks fer the linky...good blackmail material
now, i wasn't that cereal with my previous comment, besides giving gratz ta big Al...
so, for the Record... ya gotta luv the guy, especially considering that he can write so proliferously while only having taste in his mouth...
i mean, c'mon... the guy likes Prince...
heh
but , i digress...
XOXOXOXOXO, big Al
Excelsior?
11 - Triniman
Al, congratulations on being honoured. It was nice to get to learn more about you.
12 - Clavos
See, Al, Libertarians DO get elected to some things!
Way to go-well deserved!
Clavos
13 - Sterfish
Congrats on the well-deserved honor.
14 - Dave Nalle
Al is the antithesis of everything a gay man wants in another man. I love you, Al Barger.
Silas, I've heard that some gay men go for the 'bear' look and Al certainly has it is spades.
Dave
15 - Scott Butki
Congrats, Al. I don't always agree with you but you do some interesting, engaging writing, especially on music.
16 - Al Barger
Thank you all for your kind words.
I especially want to return the love to Brother Silas. Thanks, buddy- right backatcha.
Duane, thanks particularly for recognizing my efforts at grace under fire when folks are hatin' on me. I try. It's a frequent struggle to figure an appropriate response without unnecessary harshness when folks are losing their little minds on me. It's like Harry Powell said at the burlesque show.
Phil, I'm most pleased to hear you liked my PETA story. That story is absolutely true, by the way. I was looking for just the place to make that connection on the page, and Lisa's question was a perfect innocuous setup.
Gonzo, obviously I'm not a big fan of HST. I'll admit though that it gave me a second's pause for the sake of not wanting to hurt your feelings by further bashing your hero. But I figured you'd get over it. Plus, yes Prince Rogers Nelson is about 100 times more significant than Rush. But I still love you.
Dave, my beard has powers. You should indeed be scared of it. Don't anger The Beard. You've been warned.
Finally, Suss and the "blackmail" picture. That image was a casual snapshot taken at the Mercer Museum near Philadelphia. The tri-corner hat came from some display of Revolutionary War stuff.
Personally, that's one of my favorite pictures of me. Yet I got a lot of grief from my own people over this. I had this up as a campaign picture in the first part of 2004 before I got some other pictures, including the one Lisa picked out for this story. A number of Indiana Libertarians were absolutely raising hell with me over how bad a picture this was for a campaign site. It was as if one little archaic hat put me in with the fool druid we had running for governor of CA campaigning in his cheesy robes. PS I still like the picture.
17 - gonzo marx
lol..oh Al..
why thanks fer spending a picosecond pondering my non-existant feelings...
and i'm glad ya got the Honor here...
oh yes, and HST ain't a "hero" to me, just someone whose writings i enjoyed, and to me, served in a Twain/Swift type position as a satirist whose lies and "fish stories" communicated more Truth than most "straight reporting"
as fer Rush/Prince argument... well you enjoy what ya like... we'll work on yer being tone deaf...
XOXOXOXO
Excelsior?
18 - Dave Nalle
Finally, Suss and the "blackmail" picture. That image was a casual snapshot taken at the Mercer Museum near Philadelphia. The tri-corner hat came from some display of Revolutionary War stuff.
I'll match your goofy costumed picture and raise you this picture.
Dave
19 - Al Barger
Dave, your costume in that picture probably wouldn't be taken for a "costume" in these parts- more like Sunday go-to-meeting clothes. In any case, it's far less Satanic than your standard bio picture at the bottom of all your BC articles.
20 - Matthew T. Sussman
Plus it's on your own website. Al's CNN hosting pretty much kills the competition. Lord knows, Dave, what pictures you haven't shown us.
21 - gonzo marx
/agree with both Al and Suss...
Dave, yer bio pic/Anton LeVay imitation is still the best...
on the other hand, yer "english swine" elitist pig graphic is still the finest representation of you on the inside...
but i bet you could clean up in the California satanic circles as the reincarnation of their dark "bible's" Author
mwahahahaHHAAHAHahahHAHHAhahaHHAHAhahaHAHAHahaaaa
did i say all that out loud?
Excelsior?
22 - Michael J. West
Congratulations, Al, and I should herein acknowledge my debt of gratitude:
Brother Barger (as he would say) is the one who recruited me for Blogcritics, emailing me after reading my blog and encouraging me to contact EO about joining up. Right after I did so, he emailed me a congratulations, saying, "I'm proud to have brought a REAL writer on board."
Hey, Al, that compliment--and your vast and high-quality contribution--makes me conscious of how much more I could and should be doing for Blogcritics. Which is the best thing I could say about any writer on here: you make me want to be a better one.
The ass-kissing now out of the way, I should add that there's nobody more fun to disagree with in terms of the thing we most have in common: our all-encompassing musical tastes. (If you can call what Al has "taste").
23 - Al Barger
Brother West, thanks for your fine tribute. I'll note that your work here has fully justified my initial high estimate.
As to musical taste, to each his own. You can have Mariah Carey and the Dixie Chicks and leave Elvis Costello to me. Whatever works for you.
24 - Michael J. West
Well, maybe not Mariah Carey (ugh)...how about if I take the Dixie Chicks, we can share Elvis Costello, and I'll leave Sinead O'Connor to you?
25 - zingzing
ahem. sinead o is vastly superior to the dixie chicks. and i second prince 100 times over rush. meha.