Arnold’s failure to have publicly explained and proved his whereabouts on November 22, 1963 is sufficient to prove his involvement in the JFK assassination to anyone who isn’t too stupid to believe it. Added to rumors that Arnold was once at LAX at the same time as a former CIA agent and once shook hands with Ivan Boesky outside the Westwood Fatburger, this makes it obvious that Arnold is the devil. Only those pinheads who watch Fox News are too dumb to get it, because they don’t get any–they’re loser Republicans.
Arnold must have done it. He hasn’t specifically denied that Lee Harvey Oswald was his patsy, so the evidence is strong that he was the brawn behind the crime of the century. He couldn’t be the brains, because he is a Republican, and all Republicans are stupid and watch Fox News.
Craig Malice, a former government investigator because investigators who can hold down real jobs tend to shy away from these types of stories, uncrumpled a few cocktail napkins and waxed pathetic:
Forget about all the previous last minute smears, let’s talk about who was smearing whom and with what inside that window in the Texas Schoolbook Depository. It’s wasn’t your daddy’s Miracle Whip, let me tell you. And Arnold watches Fox News. Now where’s my gin?
Did you think Arnold married Maria Shriver out of love? Lust? Ha! He’s a Republican! He obviously married her, now that we have this new evidence, as part of a clever ploy to take attention away from his role in the assassination. Isn’t it obvious? Of course it is, because how clever could it be? He’s a Republican!
Think about it! “Ich bin ein Berliner.” By accidentally claiming to be a breakfast treat, JFK was expressing his solidarity with the beleaguered people of West Berlin. But because Arnold is evil, like all Republicans, he must have thought that JFK’s help to West Berlin would prevent the Fourth Reich from ever forming, thereby dashing the hopes of Arnold and the sinister cabal of Drudge Report readers who control him from ever realizing their ambitions of world domination–retroactively, I think. I mean you’d have to be pretty stupid if you don’t agree with everything I write, even when I contradict myself.
Does the timing suck? Yes, for Arnold and the evil people who don’t want cheap dirty tricks to work. And I’ll agree that it sucks as part of a clever effort to disguise my true feelings and motivations.
Don’t expect to see this story on–you guessed it–Fox News, as they don’t have my standards. Stupidheads.