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Scary Crap 3!

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How can anyone say they enjoyed this movie? I wanted to walk out on it but I am a miser who refuses to admit defeat. The movie opens with Jenny Garth and Pam Anderson in some dumb blonde dialogue that is cliche (I know – the entire movie is cliche) and utterly stupid and I don’t mean funny-stupid. After Jenny hands Pam the phone and it’s a play on Smeagol from The Lord of the Rings asking for his Precious which turns out to be Pam’s Mother, she ventures back down the hall where the lights have all gone out and Jenny Garth has become post mortem in five minutes and Pam just stands over her calling her name, despite the fact her head has rolled on the floor. Hard as it was for you to read that sentence it was harder for me to watch it!

Its obvious the Wayans Brothers didn’t produce this film even the race jokes are horrible. The spin on 8mile is – first of all – too late and – secondly – dumb! The crowd is some gun packing mob that the farmer boy, George, has to win over with his plea to be accepted despite his lack of melanin. The rhymes were mediocre at best even to be a spoof and the general tone was too conspicuous. You knew what the next joke/rhyme would be.

The only comic relief in this film is the little boy, Cody, who is abuse prone and psychic in his ability. As he walks thru the living room pointing at a pregnant lady and telling her, “It’s a boy. He’ll be an asshole.” Then he gets to a man smoking a cigarette and forewarns him “Smoke all you want, you going to get hit by a bus.” The next man is wearing a toupee and he advises “You’re not fooling anyone.” Sadly enough the funniest part of the movie and the only part that remotely warranted a chuckle the human ear could actually hear was when Cody ‘sees’ for a couple coming out of the restroom, obviously from making out; he says to the man “You’re going to get lucky tonite.” To the Woman: “He doesn’t know you’re a man.”

I know the movie is meant to be a spoof, but spoofs should be creative not predictable. They are supposed to intertwine the cliches in a humorous yet witty fashion. Scary Movie did not succeed at this at all. All in all, save your money the movie is trash (No, that’s not too harsh). This is an hour or so of your life you will regret not being able to get back.

(ORIGINALLY POSTED AT DEW PROCESS)

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  • http://www.makeyougohmm.com/ TDavid

    Hmm, it’s that bad, huh? I liked the original Scary Movie and only found the second one to be OK. It’s too bad that sequels ruin it for so many of the originals.

    Rocky III was one of the few sequels I actually like better than its predecessor. Go Mr. T!

  • http://multimedea.blogspot.com Dew

    I agree…
    Lion King 2 really hurt me. It hurt me bad, man. I haven’t seen The Godfather yet but I hear that Trilogy is definately an exception to the sequel jinx.

  • http://www.temptationwaits.com visualsimplicity

    Can’t help but agree with you. That 8 mile scene was too lame, too late, and too long. Most of the funny parts? Basically all shown in the previews, with the exception of tThe Ring/toilet video. Regardless, despite getting to watch it free (friend got tickets some how), I still felt I paid too much in the 2 hours I spent to watch it.

  • http://www.temptationwaits.com visualsimplicity

    Oh and I believe the blonde at the beginning with Pam was not Jenny Garth (of Beverly Hills 90210 fame) but Jenny Mccarthy (of Playboy/Singled Out fame)

  • http://multimedea.blogspot.com Dew

    You are so corect Visual. I get them mixed up often. I wish these tickets had been free not to mention I had to sit thru this twice(friend needed me and she picked this crap to see, in a time of need the last thing I wanted to do was say no) that’s four frikkin hours I am too pissed about giving away.

  • http://multimedea.blogspot.com Dew

    You are so correct Visual. I get them mixed up often. I wish these tickets had been free not to mention I had to sit thru this twice(friend needed me and she picked this crap to see, in a time of need the last thing I wanted to do was say no) that’s four frikkin hours I am too pissed about giving away.

  • http://idk Kaitlyn

    what kinda of scary crap is this???? i googled this place up -n-it said scary crap3. Yet the only thing that is freakn scary bout this whole thing is the dude at the bottom!!!! Show some actual scary crap if yal ever want anybody to come here!!!!!!!!!This aint no personal attack either this is some corrective critism is all!