This past week, Democrats and Republicans agreed on a deal that would grant amnesty to millions of illegal immigrants. Unfortunately, this amnesty has opened a can of worms. In the past day alone, pedophiles, murderers, and thieves who are either in prison or charged with crimes will organize and demand that they are given their due respect. NAMBLA (North American Man Boy Love Association) members will march this Saturday while NAAM (National Association of American Murderers) will march on Sunday. On June 8, the KCRA (Kleptomaniacs Civil Rights Association) will March and demand that they be allowed to steal. All three of these groups have been endorsed by Dan Rather, Rosie O’Donnell, Hillary Clinton, Al Sharpton, and Guadalupe Santiago.
Steve Sodomheim, the director of NAMBLA, claims that it’s about time society accepts men who love boys. “We are not criminals; we are human!” Sodomheim says. During their march, they will demand that male teachers be allowed to have affairs with their male students as well as demand that all libraries be stocked with men-on-boy porn. They will also demand that government documents be written in their new man-on-boy language, Pedophilish. Although they have received endorsement from most Democrats, former Representative Mark Foley is the only Republican that has signed on, indicating his full support of NAMBLA.
O.J. Simpson, the new President of NAAM (National Association of American Murderers) claims that murderers aren’t really bad people. “We are actually doing a service to society by getting rid of people who don’t contribute,” he claims. When asked why some of the most promising people in society get murdered, he claimed, “Well, we are actually doing a service to them as well. Since they are good people, we send them to heaven early on.” Mr. Simpson and other members of NAAM are not only demanding that murderers be released from prison, but that they be allowed to murder at least three people a week.
“We do the jobs that nobody wants,” Zach Dahmer, another NAAM member declares. “I’m sure that there are a lot of people that others want to murder, but they are too afraid to!” Former Democrat Representative Gary Condit has donated over 5 million dollars to NAAM’s cause and will be participating in the march.
Winona Ryder started the KCRA (Kleptomaniacs Civil Rights Association) six years ago, after being arrested for stealing materials from a clothing store in Beverly Hills. “We are not actually thieves," Mrs. Ryder states. “We are taking back what rightfully belongs to us!” Aaron McDowell, a prominent member of CCRA , considers himself an American Indian given that his great grandfather was 1/8 American Indian.
“They stole from me centuries ago,” claims Mr. McDowell. “So, I’m just getting back at society for repressing me,” he continues. Oprah Winfrey has proudly given her support. KCRA plans a Kleptomaniacs Pride Week where they will walk into stores and steal whatever they want. Police officers who try and interfere will be punished. Alec Baldwin and Los Angeles Mayor, Antonio Villaraigosa, are the main organizers for this event.
True Americans, such as Bill O’Reilly, have been very vocal about the possible amnesty. “First we have illegal immigrants who broke our immigration laws being granted amnesty. Then, men who have sex with little boys want to roam free. Now, we have murderers and Kleptomaniacs demanding “respect?” What’s next, allowing sexual harassment at the workplace?" R&B singer R. Kelly is equally upset.
“Some of these people actually have sex with underage children and videotape it. This is wrong!” Mr. Kelly claims. Along with rapper Akon, R. Kelly has pushed Congress into passing harsher laws against people who have sex with minors. Perhaps R. Kelly and Akon might want to refrain. The Senate, dominated by Democrats such as Ted Kennedy, is working on the Pedophile Amnesty Bill as we speak.Powered by Sidelines