Imagine this. Mexicans all over the United States leave their jobs in protest over immigrant civil rights. Gas stations don’t turn on pumps — Dunkin Donuts shops lie empty with customers waiting for their morning coffee, and lawns end up un-cut. Who do you call in a time of crisis? Who will serve Americans in their hour of need? Our Congressmen, that’s who.
These brave men and women who debate the laws of this country for hours on end will use that energy to provide Customer Service to our most cherished institutions. An organization will be built to coordinate the number Congressmen (state and federal) who will work in the field. Some will work the restaurants, others will work the convenience stores – most will end up in Wal-Marts across the country.
To keep the expenses of gas down, Congressmen will live near their respective jobs in order to control their budgets. Some will opt to live at their respective jobs by building spaces to sleep in and have leisure time. Schools will be built in within the area of the job site so that families will be able to get their kids within a close distance.
These Congressmen will not take vacations, but instead do rotations. A group of them will take off of one job, and do another job while the other group replaces the first group on their job. This will allow flexibility in skills and provide a variety of employee-to-customer skills not learned in the average college course.
When children of the congressmen reach a certain age, they will become inducted into the College of Customer Service. This college will be funded by the government, and provide work clothes and on-the-job training. If some are good enough, they will be included into a management program where they learn how to run their own retail store. People will pass this part of the advanced program get free funding and a free location of their choosing.
Due to the high crime rate that involves a retail job, Congressmen and their children will be taught crime prevention. In jobs where large amounts of money are given, gun training will be included. Exceptional students will be inducted into the Customer Service Police Force, also funded by the government and trained in preventing disputes from reaching disruptive heights.
These are just some and not all of the ideas that I have for how to solve the impending crisis that may stop the retail industry profits. Then again, I highly doubt Congressmen and their children would want to work such jobs for any amount of time. Taking that into consideration, who do we ask to fill the jobs no one would do on a bet?
Maybe we can turn to the prison system.