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Satire: Message From a Parallel Universe

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Hello. We hesitate attempting this communiqué since efforts of this sort using wormholes and the like to communicate have failed and, in addition, we don't even know if you really exist.

Several learned factions among us insist the probability of parallel universes is significant, but are probably not reachable in this fashion. However, the events transpiring now are of such momentous import to us we are willing to try again to reach out to you.

Perhaps in your world an event as enormously significant has occurred and you will understand our excitement. We trust you will not be offended by the history lesson accompanying this dispatch, but our realities may be so extraordinarily different this may be helpful.

In our world the pagan cultures extent in the Mediterranean regions and in the vast interiors, which existed from antiquity, ceased to function hundreds of years ago. With their demise, the propensity for armed conflicts gradually ceased.

The outbursts of Messianic frenzy, which kept the mid-eastern region boiling for millennia, also finally ebbed. It has since been determined a stubborn virus acquired from prolonged association with camels and goats may have been involved. Maybe your world also experienced such disturbances.

Four centuries we have been under the benign influence of various Eastern philosophies and our settlements have peacefully coexisted for generations. We have long enjoyed a viable social ethic based on mutual respect.

The core of this system is the absolute insistence on non-intrusion and respect for persons, geographic divisions, and cultures – which continues. Perhaps your world has undergone similar transitions and lives peacefully as well.

This story prompting this outreach to you began long ago when an obscure sea gypsy whose name was Colon or Columbus (some confusion exists), but who was originally from Genoa attempted an illegal incursion into what we call the New World. This adventurer was apprehended by authorities and returned to our Old World in irons.

Despite the absolute taboo on unwanted foreign intrusions, very occasionally a willful perpetrator had made such an attempt in the distant past. This is no longer a problem with us. Perhaps some similar great villain existed in your past history.

Since this is the last known incident of its sort, it remains significant to us. Alas, all attempts to secure visitation permission with inhabitants of the two massive continents constituting this New World have been unsuccessful until lately.

Two years ago word was received that the inhabitants of both continents would entertain visitation by qualified Ethnologists and anthropologists. At once a massive effort began to secure and equip qualified teams from all sections of the Old World to take advantage of this great opportunity with dozens of simultaneous sorties.

Of course the coastlines of both areas have been mapped and charted for hundreds of years and during the last century non-intrusive high altitude flyovers by air and satellite have been performed, but nothing at all is known of the interiors or the inhabitants of the regions other than what could be gleaned from a distance.

We know of the existence of what appear to be modest sized city-states linked by extensive waterway transportation and massive forested areas in the north continent. Much the same has been noted in the south region with the addition of many vast, apparently ceremonial, sites.

The prospect of these simultaneous expeditions into the great, unknown regions has excited the scientific community and the public as well. We are most willing to relay the findings of these excursions to your world if contact is possible. Goodbye.

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About Robert Magill

  • C i n d y

    Robert,

    This is really cool! I tried to find The Lift, by the way. But I noticed the site where you posted it, it doesn’t play.

  • http://noabominoidshere.blogspot.com Robert Magill

    Cindy

    The Lift was up until recently but they have pulled it off. You can check out Good Days/Bad Days

    RM