Home / Culture and Society / Science and Technology / Satire: Meanwhile… Back at Redmond

Satire: Meanwhile… Back at Redmond

Please Share...Print this pageTweet about this on TwitterShare on Facebook0Share on Google+0Pin on Pinterest0Share on Tumblr0Share on StumbleUpon0Share on Reddit0Email this to someone

Google has recently announced their participation in a consortium with five other companies for the construction of an underground cable across the Pacific…

Meanwhile, back at Redmond, a meeting is held to pitch ideas to counter Google’s massive web presence. Here's what the guys floated :

1. Ask Steve Jobs what to do.

2. Try buying Yahoo… again.

3. Hire Godzilla to chew on the cable at least once a week.

4. Buy prime-time TV time to emphasize Hotmail doesn’t require state-of-the-art fiber optics cables every time Gmail crashes due to Godzilla chewing on the cable.

5. Offer Voldermort a 30% stake in Microsoft (natural synergy, they say) in return for a permanent jinx on Google, only to realize Voldermort is already dead (the guy who pitched the idea hasn’t finished book seven yet).

At this point they discover one of the guys was logging into Gmail, and fire him. An assistant then continues the pitch:

6. Have Simon Cowell badmouth Google.

Someone shuts the assistant up, mostly because they never made it past auditions and can't bear reliving the "AB-SO-LU-TE-LY HORRIBLE. IT'S A NO" .

As no one can come up with any other idea, they decide to end the meeting, and use a known exploit in Windows Server to hack the proxy and log on to Youtube. It ends up they fired the guy because they didn’t like him.

Powered by

About Marcus Lessa