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Satire: Global Warming Merges With El Niño

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People still do not believe in Global warming, but that is about to change, according to everyone's favorite news source of doom. Global Warming has just announced a merger with El Niño, in an effort to "have an actual effect on the climate that it can claim as its own," said spokesperson, La Niña.

"Global Warming has continually failed to live up to it's expectation of causing doom since its creation, but has an incredible cult following due to some people's inability to understand weather cycles . El Niño does not get enough publicity, even though it actually has some products out on the market. It is a merger that benefits both sides." It is hoped that Global Warming could take advantage of El Niño's updated Hurricane® product line, and take the credit for it. All El Niño items are expected to fall under the Global Warming brand when the merger is complete.

El Niño is a Naturally occurring phenomenon™ that has a powerful line up that includes the following products:

  • Hurricane® Doom
  • Twisty Tornado®
  • Massive Flooding®

Global Warming, the Fictional Reason for Weather Change™, that so far has had one product, Sinky Island!®. This product was, unfortunately canceled when it was found to be a pirated version of EROSION®, a competitors product. Earth, the owner of EROSION®, is suing for damages. "People rabidly believe in Global Warming, even though it is a serious under-performer in the climate change market," La Niña had said earlier in 2006, perhaps before merger talks began.

Mind shares of Global Warming rose on the Climate Change when the merger news broke.

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About Abbie Gonzalez

  • Joe

    Man made global warming is real ! Al Gore would not lie.

    We all know politicians don’t lie !!!

  • I’d better make sure I use more power to ensure my central air conditioning system functions at full throttle!

    We’re all gonna die anyway so I’m going to live like a king.

    I know so because Al Gore – my Lord – said so.

  • ross

    this article provides some interesting comments. instead of jsut taking what al gore says and thinking of ti as the gospel. open your eyes and ears and form your own opinion.