Blogcritics has learned that Dick “Buckshot” Cheney is headed to Turino with plans to enter the biathlon.
His exact motives are unclear.
But it is known that he is not going to answer questions raised by the “hunting accident” of last weekend. He has not denied rumors that Brokeback Mountain was based on his life.
Some of his aides, speaking off the record, said he was so frustrated with the debate about whether to call the city Turin or Torino that he was going to go straighten it out himself.
Besides, it sounds a little bit too much like the War on Terror so there is a possibility he may just destroy the town.
Rumors that he was bringing several of his own guns have been unconfirmed.
The next biathlon is tonight, and the rules state if one person is disqualified another can take his or her place.
One athlete is unaccounted for, so Cheney may have his in.
In related news, Cheney reportedly shot a television that was broadcasting The Daily Show on Tuesday night. He apparently was not amused.
Stay tuned to Blogcritics for the truth about what happens when a man named Dick lives up to his name.