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Satire – Bush’s Katrina Video Smoking Gun

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Now we’ve GOT the bastard. Look, everyone knows that Bush is evil beyond measure. He’s been caught dead to rights tapping the phones of terrorists without proper authorization. He’s refused to support the Kyoto treaty. He’s a REPUBLICAN, for crying out loud.

But now he’s going DOWN. We’ve got him dead to rights on this Katrina business. There’s documented video of FEMA director Michael Brown briefing Bush that there was a hurricane on Monday, August 29 as the hurricane was landing.

Now, some right wing extremists might take this part of the CNN story as exculpatory:

“I talked to the president twice today, once in Crawford and then again on Air Force One,” Brown tells those at the briefing. “He remains very, very interested in this situation.

“He’s obviously watching the television a lot, and he had some questions about the Dome [Louisiana Superdome in New Orleans]. He’s asking questions about reports of breaches. He’s asking about hospitals. He’s very engaged, and he’s asking a lot of really good questions I would expect him to ask,” Brown adds.

But the American people are not interested in excuses. President Bush KNEW there was a hurricane, and he didn’t do anything to stop it because he hates black people and wanted to kill them off to help the evil Republicans. This is unacceptable.

If we’d had a REAL president in there who cares about the poor black folks like John Kerry does, things would have been different. He would have DONE SOMETHING. For starters, he’d have had Al Gore in there helping, since he knows something about the environment and stuff. He’s friends with Mother Nature and all.

Then President Kerry would no doubt have sought out the advice of our allies, and formed an anti-hurricane coalition with the French. Of course, he would have negotiated a firm “No Hurricane” resolution from the United Nations.

But then you’d see what a REAL president looks like. President Kerry would have flown to the Gulf, and made that storm his bitch like he was Tim Meadows.

Yes, I can see it now. President Kerry would have stood up to that hurricane. He’d have been there with a big old Charlton Heston staff in hand. Only it wouldn’t be an ordinary wooden staff. No, President Kerry would have his three Purple Hearts nailed right to it, commanding the water to recede like it was the Red Sea. Then the people could have walked across New Orleans on dry land to safety. Yes sir, that’s what a real president would have done.

Instead, we get a punk for a president who won’t take responsibility. You think an act of God isn’t your fault? The American people KNOW better.

I expect the Congress to start impeachment proceedings right away. Bush is going DOWN!

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  • http://parodieslost.typepad.com Mark Schannon

    This is a riot. You absolutely got me, even though it’s labelled satire. At first I thought you’d gone off the deep end, and then I realized you’d pushed me off the deep end. I laughed my ass off. Great post.

    (You think Kerry really could have done that?)

    In Jamesons Veritas

  • http://www.morethings.com/log Al Barger

    Thanks Mark. Of COURSE Kerry would have stopped this hurricane. He’s a REAL man, not like that damned Bush.

  • Billy

    Okay, but is it satire making fun of liberals who blame Bush for everything? Or is it satire of Bush supporters who strain to find ways to ignore Bush’s failings? It works better as the latter. You know, of course, that there’s more in that video than just “FEMA director Michael Brown briefing Bush that there was a hurricane.” And of course it’s the part you *don’t* mention that’s the issue. Is that on purpose, to make fun of that mode of evasion? Or were you not aware of the rest of what’s in the video? (That one seems unlikely.) It works as a parody of both positions, except that you exaggerate one and play the other straight.

  • JOe

    Al, you hit it right on the nose. Even though Kerry might have not been able to part the flood waters, he would have actually reacted to the hurricane instead of ignoring it. This continuing disregard for what Americans really want and need out of a president is completely ridiculous. I don’t understand why he ever was elected (what was the other half of us thinking) let’s stay in Iraq killing them and our own, sell our ports to a friend of Alkaida, and hang out clearing brush. That’s really what the country needs!

  • http://parodieslost.typepad.com Mark Schannon

    Guys, it’s a satire, which means it’s fiction. The reality doesn’t matter. This is an outstanding example of the genre. Just enjoy it!

    In Jamesons Veritas

  • Hilberto

    Billy, it’s satire of YOU for asking so many dumb questions.

  • Fred Evil

    I for one am horrified at the way the administration has allowed Michael Brown to be thrown under the FLEET of buses that they recently drove over him…..I originally thought this guy Brown was a worthless tool…..only to find out that while he’s certainly not squeaky clean, he ain’t as bad as the administration made him out to be!!

    In a large public corporation, now would be the time for the board of directors to quietly ask for the CEO’s resignation, and if they didn’t get it, force him out….IF SOMEONE ISN’T DOING THEIR JOB, THEY GET FIRED!!

    What has Bush done RIGHT?! We certainly have our fair share of political posturing and finger-pointing going on, but Bush himself has said he takes reponsibility for the disaster. He hired these guys, and he should’ve fired these guys, at least Chertoff….how many lost their lives in Katrina? I have heard a lot of numbers, 2-3000 maybe? maybe more, maybe less, I don’t know. But if you run a snowplow company, and a big blizzard is coming, and you assure everyone that you’ve got ‘em covered, and then it hits, 5 feet of snow, and you don’t even start the plows for a couple of days, meanwhile people freeze to death in their homes, car accidents abound, who’s at fault? Who gets sued? Who is liable? It seems clear to me, that Bush WAS advised that it was distinctly possible that flooding, and maybe SERIOUS flooding, could/would occur, yet days later, he stated that no one considered the possibility the levees would fail…?! They are only rated for a Cat3 storm at most, and this was a big Cat5 less than 24 hours before landfall, how could they be doing their jobs, if they WEREN’T considering that possibility?! Heck, I sat at home, and watched the coverage, and -I- considered the possibility!!What is it going to take, for the people of this country to realize that this guy is WAY out of his depth? He’s knocked out two foreign sovereign state governments, he’s only half-built the replacements, and they’re crumbling like the levees in New Orelans. Please help me understand how he still has his job….?

  • http://www.morethings.com/log Al Barger

    “Please help me understand how he still has his job….?”

    It’s the damned stupid voters. We had an election, and about 3 million more idiots voted for Bush than for our True Leader John Kerry.

    So now these manipulative Republican bastards are invoking this stupdid “US Constitution” thingy what says he gets to be president for four more years.

  • Fred Evil

    Well, he DID win the second time…..and at least you characterized the voters correctly…

  • Bliffle

    Fails as satire, which should be humorous to seduce the reader. Bitterness poisons satire. Go back and read the great satirists, Swift, etc.

  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    He stole the 2000 election, because Karl Rove undermined the democracy by creating an “Electoral College” that made Texas (a blue state) more important than New York (a red state). No way would the founding fathers ever made up something as stupid as an Electoral College!

    Then he stole the 2004 election by creating 9/11.

  • http://adreamersholiday.blogspot.com Lee Richards

    I get it…the satire is in calling this pitiful partisan sarcastic screed a “satire”…brilliant.
    BTW, just thought I’d ask: How many Purple Hearts do you have?
    Carpe Diem

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