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Satire: Bill O’Reilly Asks: Has Technology Gone Too Far?

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Just the other day, I was at the movie theater watching a new foreign film that dealt with the beginnings of Jesus Christ (a great experience, but not nearly as incredible as The Passion of the Christ with my favorite actor, Mel Gibson). Suddenly, I hear a ringtone to the tune of some welfare rapper, Akon, singing "Don't Matter."

Not only was I insulted that a phone company would allow ringtones by such a talentless musical act (hey, what happened to the days of Lawrence Welk), but Jesus Christ, I was trying to watch a movie! Even worse, the man, who looked like he had just escaped from a porno shop on the East Side, didn’t answer the phone. Instead, he put on this body part shaped headset and talked through it. The phone was nowhere to be seen!

I found out later that this is a new liberal technology called Bluetooth, where a phone can transfer a signal at least thirty feet to a pair of headphones. If your phone is internet enabled, you can even use it as a Bluetooth modem and use your new ultra mobile pc to connect to the Internet. Is this ridiculous, or what? Even more ridiculous? These computers have been made small enough to actually fit in your pockets. Get this: some actually write on these computers with a pen!

Ten years ago, nobody even thought about writing notes on a mini-sized computer. They used something called pencil and paper! These new mini-computers run an operating system called Windows Vista, probably developed by illegal immigrants from Mexico. With these mini-computers, students and adults can play video games instead of studying or actually working. If you are a CEO and think a client is taking notes on his little computer, you may be surprised to find out he is playing Space Invaders instead.

In schools across the country, parents are forcing administrators to let their children take these mini-computers to class. They say it will better help students “organize.” I say this is just an excuse to help dumb down our education system. Whatever happened to assignment books? Whatever happened to teachers writing the homework assignment on the board?

Don’t get me wrong; I used to like technology. I can never forget the day when my family got our first color television set. Since we were one of the first families in the working class district of Levittown to have one, the whole neighborhood gathered at our working-class house, where we could watch family-oriented shows such as Leave It To Beaver. Now, people use color televisions to watch such immoral shows like Desperate Housewives, South Park, and Grey's Anatomy. There is even some marketing scam called "hi-def."

Do you remember the good old days, during the Reagan era, when home computers could be used for word processing, bible study, and even communication between family members? Now, kids use them to download porn and rap music, which leads to the downgrade of our society. When I bought the Coleco Adam computer in 1983, the thought of downloading porn was unheard of. Now, I have to use a computer for my job, but I somehow feel guilty being a part of the dumbing down of America.

The advances in technology once contributed greatly to the growth of our nation. Now, with cell phones, mini computers, Bluetooth (why couldn’t they call it Greentooth), we are paving the way for terrorists and illegal immigrants to take control of our society. So, the next time you answer your cell phone with a pair of headphones that looks like a sexual body part, be aware that you are paving the way for more terrorism in our country.

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About Daryl D

  • Liz

    Daryl, hon. STICK TO MUSIC please!

  • Carolina

    I’m sorry, but this blog is so crappy I might have to print it and use it as toliet paper. A valid opinion on technology? Nowhere to be found. Obvious racist remarks and less-obvious comments representative of a white man who cannot cope with the fact that he may no longer rule the world? Abundant.

    My question? If the blogger is so opposed to new technology because it only facilitates “illegal immigrants” and “welfare users,” what the hell is he doing writing a blog?

  • Liz

    Carolina:

    Do you understand what “Satire” means?

  • daryl d

    Carolina:

    Sorry if the article pissed you off. It was meant to make you laugh. It was a parody of Bill O’Reilly. I love technology and think that it is great! I’m getting that computer in the picture soon, by the way.

  • Carolina

    I know you were trying to be funny, but take a lesson from Imus. Remarks like that are not funny. Unless it’s on a Saturday Night Live set with costuming and all, the parody and/or humor is totally not contextualized and comes off crass.

  • http://www.myspace.com/supertaco1994 tyler rosenwald

    Are you a Racist person if your watching something with jesus in it you must be a christian or something isnt being racist a sin!!!

    sincerly
    Tyler Rosenwald

  • http://www.sulumitsretsambewno.com sulumits retsambew

    Advance technology have a great impact on our life. Computer becomes more complex and advance. In china their used mobile more than pc/laptop.

  • http://www.flood-pictures.com/ heri flood

    ha ha ha, it’s good satire.
    Now, human civilization occur caused by technology like cell phone and web 2.0.
    I can’t imagine what can happen 10 years again.

  • Lisa

    I hate technology. Well not all of it of course but things like this are just too much. We don’t NEED these silly contraptions to improve our lives, we already have other things already. We are no longer relying on ourselves to sort things out but on modern tech like this which is a waste of space. It is also endangering us as the reflexes in our brain would have a different impact and not think like real humans. Anyone who doesn’t think techniology has reached it’s limit have either been living under a rock or have been walking around with their eyes closed. It’s time we stopped.

  • Archivist

    I’m sorry, but how do computers and Bluetooths pave the way for more terrorism? The satire would make at least a bit more sense if you were attacking the publishers or creators of this new technology, not a people (no matter how bad) who seem to have nothing to do with this new tech.

  • Carlos

    I find this article extremely dumb, ignorant, racist and ridiculous.

  • Carlos

    Oh! Its a bill o’reilly parody, that makes much more sense. Ha, you got me there.