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Satire: Best Selling Self-Help Books

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From paperbacks to a waste of paper, hardcovers to hard-to-believe-it-was-even-published, self-help for adults, children and business is a fickle world where knowledge is subjective and arrogance is king. Sometimes you just have to read between the lines.

Personal

Ten Stupid Things Men/Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives When They Listen to Men/Women Who Have Done Way More than Ten Things to Mess Up Their Lives, by Laura Schlessinger

The Power Of Positive Thinking is One Excuse To Do Nothing: There’s also Just Say No and Good Things Come to Those Who Wait, by Norman Vincent Peale

He’s Just Not That Into You Because He’s Gay, by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

Make Every Man Want You: The Power of Duct Tape and a Blatant Disregard for the Law, by Marie Forleo

The Five Love Languages: French, Italian, Portuguese, Romanian and Spanish, by Gary Chapman

Chicken Soup for the Soul, as if Chickens Didn’t Suffer Enough Already, by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

The Art of Happiness is in the Craft of Titling a Best Seller, by Dalai Lama

How to Instantly Connect with Anyone By Violating the Tenets of Personal Space, by Leil Lowndes

The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands: A Book From the 1800s, by Laura Schlessinger

Emotional Intelligence Never Helped Anyone With Their SATs, by Daniel Goleman

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Unless You Have Problems with Depth Perception, by Richard Carlson

I’m OK, You’re OK, We All Scream For Ice Cream, by Thomas A. Harris

The Secret I Only Pretend to Have and Don’t Really Tell, by Rhonda Byrne

Reposition Yourself: Living Life Without Limits While Enraging Cops, Neighbors and Everyone in Line at Starbucks, by T. D. Jakes

Chicken Soup for the Chicken’s Soul: Never Mind, by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

Defy Gravity and Other Laws of Physics You Can Break With Kick-Ass Health Coverage, by Caroline Myss

Why Bad Things Happen to Good People: For Everyone Who Wasn’t Paying Attention Every Time They Were Told Life’s Not Fair, by Harold S. Kushner

For Children

Stick Up for Yourself With an Actual Stick, by Gershen Kaufman, Lev Raphael, and Pamela Espeland

Making the Most of Today After Your Chores are Done and Your Alcoholic Dad Has Passed Out, by Pamela Espeland and Rosemary Wallner

The Anxiety Workbook for Teens: Getting Past the Fears Your Parents Projected Onto You, by Lisa M. Schab

The Seven Best Things Smart Teens Do, A Book You Won’t Need to Open if You Read the Cover: Eat Fruits and Vegetables, Floss Teeth, Save Money, Exercise, Pay No Attention to Insults and Hit Back Hard When Hit, Practice Safe Sex, and Remember that Drugs and Alcohol Will Keep You From Effectively Doing Any of the Above, by John C. Friel Ph.D. and Linda D. Friel M.A.

Be Confident in Who You Are and Several Other Books You’ll Need Because It’s Just Not That Simple, by Annie Fox

Business

7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Manipulation, Backstabbing, Subterfuge, Extortion, Embezzlement, Blackmailing and Office Supply Theft, by Stephen R. Covey

The One-Minute Manager Who Was Paid Accordingly, by Kenneth H. Blanchard and Spencer Johnson

How to Win Friends and Influence People Without the Pesky Business of Developing a Personality, by Dale Carnegie

Who Moved My Cheese? Let Them Eat Plague!, by Spencer Johnson and Kenneth Blanchard

Get the Life You Want: Identity Theft for Beginners, by Richard Bandler

See You at the Top Where it’s Less Crowded and Easier to Knock You Down, by Zig Ziglar

The Magic of Thinking Big is an Illusion, by David J. Schwartz

A Whole New Mind: Is a Brain Transplant Right for You?, by Daniel Pink

The 48 Laws of Power: A Mob Family Tree, by Robert Greene

First, Break All the Rules: How to Get a Job With a Criminal Record, by Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman

Hot, Flat, and Crowded: My Life as a Pancake at a Greasy Spoon, by Thomas L. Friedman

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About Diana Hartman

Diana is a USMC (ret.) spouse, mother of three and a Wichita, Kansas native. She is back in the United States after 10 years in Germany. She is a contributing author to Holiday Writes. She hates liver & motivational speakers. She loves science & naps.
  • http://corp-minamiji.typepad.com Christy Corp-Minamiji

    Hysterical!!!

  • Boeke

    Fun.