I was just IM’ing Santa on ICQ and he wanted me to post his favorite websites (Eric, do you think we could hook Santa up with an account?). Santa is doing well, although this week has been stressful since he has had to work through some marital problems after walking in on Mrs. Claus boinking the senior Elf in the gift-wrapping room. Let’s hope he gets everything worked out.
Here are a few of Santa’s favorite websites:
Actually, Santa doesn’t really like this website at all. To be honest, he said he hates it. Santa thinks that people who make websites like this one deserve the most toys of all…because they are obviously very bored, sad individuals.
Well, of course this is one of Santa’s favorite websites.
Sponsored by Chevy? Well, now even Santa Claus is getting corporate deals.
Santa loves Google. Sometimes kids ask for crazy things and Santa doesn’t know just what the hell they are talking about, so he “googles” it, finds it and orders it (usually from Amazon.com).
Sidenote: Santa mentioned that he is not happy about the fact that a Google search for “Santa Claus” turns up Disney in the top ten. Santa says, “I am so not Disney”.
Yeah, he may be the only one riding a sleigh professionaly, but Santa like this website, because they have the best wax for his sleigh and other great stuff for Santa adventures in roof-sleighing.
It’s a long journey across the world and Santa gets tired of the wind whistling in his ears at 30,000 feet. That’s why he likes this site at Apple.com where he can learn about his iPod (he got it from the elves for his birthday). However, he hates this site and is going to sue for libel. I mean, c’mon, why would you mess with Santa?
Professional Assoc. of Santa Elves, Inc.
Santa really appreciates these people (and their website) for helping him keep up his game and hide the fact (spoiler coming) that he’s really fake and nothing up until this point in this post has been true. (He then went on to compare himself to politicians.)
This is Santa’s most favorite site because we all know Santa is American (just like Jesus).