Here are my picks for the NFL’s Week Five:
***SUNDAY, OCTOBER 10***
Jacksonville 2-2 at Buffalo 0-4 – 1:00 PM [Line: Bills by 1]
Jacksonville has a poor offense and an awful defense. But Buffalo has arguably the worst offense and worst defense in the league. The Bills shouldn’t be favored here, even at home. If it was December, maybe. But it’s not going to get too cold in upstate New York in early-to-mid October.
—RJ’s Pick: Jaguars by 4
Tampa Bay 2-1 at Cincinnati 2-2 – 1:00 PM [Line: Bengals by 7]
This is sort of funny: Chad Ochocinco Cereal boxes accidentally include sex-line number. No word on whether it’s “accidental’ that the cereal tastes like lemur ass.
—RJ’s Pick: Bengals by 11
Atlanta 3-1 at Cleveland 1-3 – 1:00 PM [Line: Falcons by 3]
Fun fact: Cleveland holds a 10-2 edge in its all-time series with the Falcons.
—RJ’s Pick: Falcons by 7
Saint Louis 2-2 at Detroit 0-4 – 1:00 PM [Line: Lions by 3]
The Rams won one game last season, and it was against the Lions–in Detroit. Still, I’ve gotta pick my team to win, especially since they are actually the favorites this week.
—RJ’s Pick: Lions by 12
Kansas City 3-0 at Indianapolis 2-2 – 1:00 PM [Line: Colts by 7.5]
The Chiefs aren’t getting much respect, as they are seven-and-a-half point underdogs despite being the only remaining undefeated team in the NFL. But winning in Lucas Oil Stadium is a difficult task for any road team, and Kansas City’s defense is overrated. Look for Peyton Manning to pass for 300+ yards and three or four TDs.
—RJ’s Pick: Colts by 10
Green Bay 3-1 at Washington 2-2 – 1:00 PM [Line: Packers by 3]
I smell an upset. (Or maybe I just need a shower.)
—RJ’s Pick: Redskins by 1
Chicago 3-1 at Carolina 0-4 – 1:00 PM [Line: Bears by 3]
Todd Collins will start for the injured Jay Cutler at quarterback for the Bears. The winless Panthers have the lowest scoring offense in the league. I don’t expect a lot of points or a lot of excitement. (The over/under for the game is just 36.)
—RJ’s Pick: Bears by 6
Denver 2-2 at Baltimore 3-1 – 1:00 PM [Line: Ravens by 7]
Denver has the worst running game in the NFL. Baltimore is allowing the fewest yards per game in the NFL. Either Kyle Orton has the game of his life, or the Ravens win. It should be a low-scoring game, which means it may be closer than seven points.
—RJ’s Pick: Ravens by 4
New York Giants 2-2 at Houston 3-1 – 1:00 PM [Line: Texans by 3.5]
The Giants rank 7th in the NFL in yards per game, but 21st in points scored. On the defensive side of the ball, the Giants are 3rd in yards allowed per game, but 22nd in points allowed. Clearly, this is a team that is better than its record indicates. Houston has one of the top offenses in the league, but the worst defense in terms of yards allowed per game. I expect a wild, high-scoring one at Reliant Stadium.
—RJ’s Pick: Giants by 3
New Orleans 3-1 at Arizona 2-2 – 4:05 PM [Line: Saints by 7.5]
The Cardinals have given up the second-most points in the league. The Saints have a tendency to play close games.
—RJ’s Pick: Saints by 5
San Diego 2-2 at Oakland 1-3 – 4:15 PM [Line: Chargers by 5]
The Chargers have scored twice as many touchdowns as the Raiders, but they are winless on the road so far this season.
Still, Oakland sucks.
—RJ’s Pick: Chargers by 14
Tennessee 2-2 at Dallas 1-2 – 4:15 PM [Line: Cowboys by 7]
I’m forwarding my Christmas list to Dez Bryant. He seems like a pretty generous guy.
—RJ’s Pick: Cowboys by 2
Philadelphia 2-2 at San Francisco 0-4 – 8:20 PM [Line: 49ers by 3]
Michael Vick injured his ribs last week. He was hurt so bad that when he got home he only had the energy to torture and kill one puppy.
—RJ’s Pick: Eagles by 5
***MONDAY, OCTOBER 11***
Minnesota 1-2 at New York Jets 3-1 – 8:30 PM [Line: Jets by 5.5]
Will Brett Favre and Randy Moss click? If not, this is going to be a lo-o-ong season for the Vikings.
—RJ’s Pick: Minnesota by 1
Bye Week Teams: Miami 2-2, New England 3-1, Pittsburgh 3-1, and Seattle 2-2.
(If you’re interested, here is the full list of Danny Sheridan’s odds.)