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review – Kingdom of Heaven

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I felt Kingdom of Heaven was short on character development for an overly long film. Orlando Bloom plays our protagonist Balian, but he absolutely does not have the prescence to play a convincing leader.

There are too many far-fetched moments. He becomes a credible swordsman after the briefest of lessons from daddy. With virtually no training, he’s a leader of men and a brilliant military strategist at the same time. There are other hard to believe moments, but I won’t spill the beans.

Remember how convincing Clive Owen was in the recent King Arthur film? Orlando Bloom is a flyweight wimp in comparison who can’t carry a film. He was all right, though, in the scenes where his character was portrayed as being pensive and principled. His dialogue was too cheesy, unfortunately.

Years ago, the action would have been impressive. Today, however, with so many sword and sandal epics being made, the fighting scenes seem ordinary. Thankfully, though, the computer animation is not intrusive.

The supporing cast were really good, including Jeremy Irons as the king’s right hand man Tiberius, Liam Neeson as Godfrey, Ghassan Massoud as Saladin, and bad guys Guy de Lusignan and Reynald played by Martin Csokas and Brendan Gleeson.

The real question is, how much of this film was accurate and how much was inoffensive Disneyfied-fiction? Despite the mountain of gore, the inoffensive script has gutted the film of any true pulse.

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About Triniman

Almost weekly, Triniman catches new movies, and adds one or two CDs to his collection. Due to time constraints, he blogs about only 5% of the CDs, books and DVDs that he purchases. Holed up in the geographic centre of North America, the cultural mecca of Canada, and the sunniest city north of the 49th, Winnipeg, Triniman blogs a bit when he's not swatting mosquitoes, shoveling snow or golfing.
  • Oh lil willowy Orlando Bloom. Ain’t he cute? Bless his heart, can barely lift that sword.

    After recently learning about the past Crusades I had to wonder how bastardized this version was.

  • Orlando Bloom in Kingdom of Heaven.

    Orlando Bloom in Kingdom of Heaven, as posted by the New York Post, after the NippleGate Ethics Committee for Moral Rectitude made a valiant but failed attempt to photoshop away the immorality and save our children.