The reason I am writing today is because a lot of people, knowing my hatred for both the NY Yankees and the Boston Red Sox as an Indians fan, have wondered who I would root for in this ALCS matchup. Although it has been extremely cruel, my answer has been “I would root for a mid-air collision of the team planes.” Now, I have decided that, while funny, that answer is much too harsh and I don’t honestly wish for any of the players involved to perish. Who knows? Maybe when they are a little further over the hill and their prices come down, they might be able to play for the Indians. So, no death to the players.
I have decided who I will root for in the series. While I was sitting at El Rodeo mexican restaurant with my roommate Todd last night for a cheap and satisfying dinner that keeps on giving if you know what I mean, the solution to my problem with this series struck me.
Who do you root for when you despise both teams involved in a series? Well, you need to think about some of the reasons that you hate the teams.
Is it the players?
Partially. I mean Pedro Martinez is infuriating because he is not only good, but really incredibly arrogant. As far as Yankees go, I always thought Paul O’Neill was a crybaby and would have been called out for being one if he played anywhere else but New York.
Is it the stadiums?
Fenway park is NOT a great place to watch a game because of the comfort levels, or lack of comfort levels, and with an out-of-state driver’s license you need to be 30 years old to drink. Maybe that is the state’s fault, but I will blame Fenway. Plus it loads the stands from the front so every sum-bitch who wants a beer ends up walking in front of you all game long. Yankee Stadium is where they started throwing souvenir bats at Albert Belle in ’96 or ’97.
All these are good reasons to hate the two teams, but WAIT! Wait just one minute. Why do I hate these two teams more than any others in all of professional baseball? Why do I hate them more than the Marlins and Braves who beat the Indians in the World Series?
THE FANS! I hate the teams’ fans. (99.9% of them anyway.)
How do you root against the fans in a series like Red Sox vs. Yankees?
ALWAYS ROOT FOR THE AWAY TEAM
(Update: So, I guess that means Go Sox!?!?! They got it back to NY right?)
(This first appeared at www.filteringcraig.com)