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Rather ADHD Review: Wedding Crashers

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Two hours long. Sheesh. Chels and I, the soda pop generation, couldn’t sit still.

OK, so it’s one minute short of two hours even, but it’s quite a long movie for a comedy.

Length aside, I don’t often pay money to see a movie opening night in the expensive $10 theaters.

But in my Matt Sussman Certified Movie Value System, if I could do it over again, I would pay $7 to watch it. (That’s how much it’s worth, and it’s a more creative way than “two thumbs up,” “five stars,” or “three-and-a-half popcorns.” What the frick’s half-a-popcorn? A kernel?)

So, quick plot: John Beckwith (Owen Wilson) and Jeremy Klein (Vince Vaughn) go weddings of total strangers, pick up lovelorn hotties (such a thing?) and do sexual things to them montage-style.

But of course, you go to the wedding of Christopher Walken’s daughter, something’s gonna hit the fan.

Walken’s character, Secretary of Treasury William Cleary, hands off his daughter Christina. Jeremy hooks up with a crazy girl (If you remember the “I always knew my first time would be on a beach!” psycho) and John meets eyes with Claire Creary (Rachel McAdams). Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, blah blah blah.

What I liked

It’s my style of humor. Just like Anchorman, it’s a bunch of comic characters who come together well. While John and Jeremy are normal people with tragic flaws, the entire Creary family is rife with characters, including that rappin’ granny from The Wedding Singer (yeah, she’s still alive. She’ll be 87 in November) and a very randy wife (Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. Yeah I know her real name but it doesn’t have the same kick as saying Dr. Quinn is a MILF. Get off me!)

Of course, the family has its has its asshats (don’t all?) but they thicken the plot (nuff said about that, because although the plot has some heart, that’s not why I paid $10 — $20 if you count Chelsea.)

And, like any movie of this caliber, one of the silly movie brethren shows up for a cameo at the end. I won’t tell ya (but of course you could just go to IMDB.com and look it up and figure it out, idiot. The choice is yours. Whatcha gonna do? Spoil yourself! It’s there! But wait … you’d rather be amused. It’s your call.)

What I didn’t like so much

There were obviously some spots the movie could be cut. It seemed like the wedding-after-wedding montage took forever. (Yeah, we get it. They crash weddings. They get drink. They sleep with girls. Sounds like fun if you’re a loser.)

And when our Vaughn/Wilson tandem hit rock bottom, it seemed like they stayed there for a while. (OK, we got it there too. Their life sucks.)

The movie never reached “Anchorman status” because not every character had a true comic reality. Too many of the characters were normal people (like the McAdams character and, sadly, Walken’s character (I know, that’s really depressing because he’s a hoot (and you will say to yourself “You’re gonna wanna hear that cowbell” or “Frankenstein never scared me” (did I just go into four pairs of parentheses? (No, five))))). In Anchorman, most character had a wacky comic reality except for the characters of Christina Applegate and maybe Paul Rudd (Oops, that last part should have been in parentheses).

But Wedding Crashers had the same humor, so if you liked one, you’ll like the other.

(It’s hard talking about a movie without revealing too many spoilers! Well, I think I got to 600 words without plotting too much. (Actually, 645.)

This review is sponsored by The Obnoxious Couple. They paid me off with free Pepsi. What would you do in a situation like that?
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