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Questions About Porn

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1. Is it likely that most women in committed relationships would be unhappy to very unhappy to learn that their partner was using porn or even viewing porn on a regular basis? Would it depend on the type of porn?

2. Is this a reasonable position for these women to take? Or should they just get over it?

3. If a man is using or viewing porn that he suspects or knows that his wife would disapprove of, should he tell her? If it is affecting his interest in her, and she asks why, should he tell her?

4. Is it likely that many men who use or view porn even one hour per week become disenchanted with their flawed wives or feel frustrated because they know or suspect that their wives will not do the things they see in the porn?

5. Is it reasonable for parents to want their children to not view porn? Is it reasonable for society to take those parents desires into consideration?

6. Should the overall benefits of porn to some be weighed against detriments in deciding how to legislate how it gets into commerce.

7. Many divorce lawyers are pointing to Internet porn for men and chat rooms for women as a major contributor to the cases that are coming through their doors. Would this be a good reason to raise some alarms?

8. With declining populations in the most industrialized nations (Europe, Japan, Russia, do we need to be concerned if porn is diverting young men from having families in these cultures? (Obviously there are other reasons at the root of these declines, including general hedonism and cultural bias against the world population explosion.)

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About Randy

  • Nancy

    Not being in a committed relationship or having kids, I’m not really qualified to respond to most of these questions, I guess, but I would like to say I think it depends on the TYPE of porn being used. Chid porn, snuff films, animal porn, or depictions of abuse/violence against children/women/animals,whatever – anything where there is abuse, violence, or exploitation of helpless beings should be completely out of bounds and legally excised. If it involves consenting, adult content, however, well *shrug* I think it’s generally creepy, but can’t see where it does harm. I’ve actually seen one fairly mild (I was assured) porn film, and aside from the gratuitous sexual encounters therein, it was actually pretty funny & well done. I wouldn’t let a kid watch it on general principal it isn’t appropriate, but other than that it was innocuous, even entertaining – which probably, coming from me, is the kiss of death.

  • Nancy

    Oops. “Chid” should be “child”

  • http://paperfrigate.blogspot.com DrPat

    I can answer from the committed relationship between my spouse and myself, although I would not presume to speak for “most men.”

    1. My spouse and I occasionally enjoy viewing “porn.” When we can avoid the giggles, we find it mildly arousing, so I doubt my spouse would be unhappy about it.

    2. IMHO only, a woman who is concerned that her spouse is viewing porn without them should talk to him about it. Most unhappy women (again IMHO) make themselves miserable by being uncommunicative.

    3. Yes and yes.

    4. I can’t answer this one – except to ask, is it likely that a man who masturbates once a week will divorce his wife in favor of his palm? (I doubt it.)

    5. Yes, it’s reasonable for parents to have rules about what their children should watch. We should teach our children the strength to say “no” when invited to watch something outside that expectation. That onus is not on “society,” but on us as parents, and on our children.

    6. No. Regulation of adult porn has no merit in a free society. Mind your own business. (Child pornography is a separate issue here, one that is already thoroughly regulated under law.)

    7. No. Alcohol and gambling also lead to divorce; so does the birth of children and their leaving home at 18 or so. If we should “raise alarms” at any heretofore unregulated activity in encouraging divorce, perhaps the divorce lawyers themselves ought to be first on the list.

    8. No. Industialization itself is conducive to smaller family size; when there is no net benefit to larger families (or having children early in the marriage), it’s natural that birthrate should decline.

    Now excuse me, I need to go watch some porn with my honey.

  • http://www.roblogpolitics.blogspot.com RJ

    Women who are offended that their men watch porn are likely suffering from some sort of self-image issues. But, ideally, a man in a committed relationship should not be viewing porn behind their woman’s back. Together is fine, of course, but anything done seperately and in secret is likely going to piss her off.

    With regards to women using chat rooms and men viewing porn leading to divorces, it’s an apples-and-oranges comparison, IMO. Men who are looking at naked pictures of anonymous women are not cheating in any way. Women who have “cyber-affairs” with non-anonymous men are just a hop, skip, and jump away from adultery. Big difference.

  • http://victorplenty.blogspot.com Victor Plenty

    If chatting is cheating, so is porn. The Bible even says so. Sort of.

  • http://www.ideaplace.blogspot.com Randy Kirk

    If we saw a huge increase in divorces due to gambling or alcohol, I think it should be cause for alarm. As for me, shoot all the lawyers, then decided if they were guilty or not. (just kidding)

  • http://www.templestark.com Temple Stark

    Randy, I don’t believe you would agree that porn leads to more divorce than either alcohol or gambling.

    Not to mention the misery alcohol or gambling (or porn) can cause by people who are addicts.

    There’s your link to all three, as in everything moderation. Addiction = desperation.

  • http://adamantsun.blogspot.com Steve S

    1. Is it likely that most women in committed relationships would be unhappy to very unhappy to learn that their partner was using porn or even viewing porn on a regular basis? Would it depend on the type of porn?

    I would think it would depend on the type of person.

    2. Is this a reasonable position for these women to take? Or should they just get over it?

    Both these questions sound like a blank statement to apply across everybody. I don’t think that is the case. Some women will be hurt by their husbands watching porn, others will be aroused and want to join in, ANY position the woman takes would be reasonable for her and her situation.

    3. If a man is using or viewing porn that he suspects or knows that his wife would disapprove of, should he tell her? If it is effecting his interest in her, and she asks why, should he tell her?

    yes, and yes. If someone wants to watch porn that they suspect their spouse would disapprove of, there needs to be a discussion. What does the person get out of the viewing? Why does the other disapprove? Why would ANYthing effect interest in your spouse? There would be many issues to work out in a situation like that.

    4. Is it likely that many men who use or view porn even one hour per week become disenchanted with their flawed wives or feel frustrated because they know or suspect that their wives will not do the things they see in the porn?

    Probably, but I would say that is because of the guys messed up view of himself, erotica, and his wife rather than being the fault of the porn.

    5. Is it reasonable for parents to want their children to not view porn? Is it reasonable for society to take those parents desires into consideration?

    I would say it is very reasonable. But I also think that the internet is a public place and shouldn’t be made to be child proof.

    6. Should the overall benefits of porn to some be weighed against deteriments in deciding how to legislate regarding how it gets into commerce.

    Doesn’t that principle apply to everything?

    7. Many divorce lawyers are pointing to internet porn for men and chat rooms for women as a major contributor to the cases that are coming through their doors. Would this be a good reason to raise some alarms?

    I would say yes. But not the alarms that you would think. People get divorced much more easily now, even those who do not have internet access. People do not put effort into their relationships anymore. Meaning if you look at the reasons for divorce, a lot of factors are probably causing the rise, and porn isn’t one of the factors but one of the methods in which the factor plays out. Does that make sense?

    What is needed is a strengthening of the relationship so that images or fantasies involving other people don’t become more dominant in the type of psyche that ends the relationship without trying.

    8. With declining populations in the most industrialized nations (Europe, Japan, Russia, do we need to be concerned if porn is diverting young men from having families in these culutres?

    I would say no, there are six billion people on the planet. Most do not have access to porn. Of those that do, few will give up families in exchange for porn. I don’t see porn having a global effect on the population, I actually see the scenario as a pretty big stretch.

  • http://gonzo-marx.blogspot.com gonzo marx

    i’ll be more than happy to take your little Questionaire, but i need you to do one thing first..

    define “porn” please..

    thanx in advance…

    Excelsior!

  • http://www.immafooker.com Brooke Lee

    Ya can’t call it porn if it’s on the IFC channel.

  • Nancy

    LOL, gonzo – I refer you to the famous quote about porn: “I can’t define it, but I know it when I see it.” Of course it’s gonna vary from person to person. I consider a lot of stuff on MTV to be porn, but my niece, age 17, doesn’t turn a hair – I guess she’s a lot more hardened to it than I am. And what I consider to be mildly racy would be anathema to my fundy neighbors. Probably what turns Gonzo on would cause my hair to curl w/out benefit of a perm, who knows? I don’t think you can define a good deal of it, except in terms of the extremes: child porn, animal porn, violence. In which case, an awful lot of TV content & PG13 movies these days are porn, when you consider the violence levels. I don’t know. Gonzo, you asked the question, you go first: how would YOU define ‘porn’?

  • http://gonzo-marx.blogspot.com gonzo marx

    me define “porn”?

    and now you expect your humble Narrator to do what the Supreme Court itself could not do?

    it ain’t up to me…i do draw “the Line” at it being all good when it involves consenting adults…other than that, you get into the infringement of the coerced person(s) Rights…which any who read my mad ranting will know i am staunchly against

    but a decent definition could be…
    porn – creative activity (writing or pictures or films etc.) of no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire

    that would include what, at least half of all american media advertisement and marketing?

    but i digress…

    it’s Randy’s Post, and his Questions..i will be glad to answer, point by point..when he shares HIS definition of “porn”

    but i think Steve and i will be very close to Agreement when it comes to the Questionaire…

    film at 11

    Excelsior!

  • http://paperfrigate.blogspot.com DrPat

    FWIW, my spouse considers the Paris Hilton burger commercial porn…

  • http://adamantsun.blogspot.com Steve S

    For the record, my definition of porn, and what I go by when giving my answers, is that pornography contains hardcore sex acts usually including penetration. And it’s visible too, not implied.

    Anything else is soft-core or erotica (pictorals of nude women alone, i.e. playboy, etc). To me that is NOT porn.

    When Janet Jackson’s booby fell out during the Superbowl, many people said they were ‘traumatized’. These people will have a very different definition.

    I don’t consider the Paris commercial porn, but I do consider it ridiculous. Who washes their car and eats a burger while writhing on the hood? It’s so unrealistic it’s laughable. Everybody knows you only eat a burger while dryhumping the fender.

  • http://gonzo-marx.blogspot.com gonzo marx

    Steve S sez..
    * Everybody knows you only eat a burger while dryhumping the fender.*

    dammit..now come over here and clean the coffee off my Monitaur!

    thanks for the Laugh!

    >bows,hand over Fist, grinning like a Fool< Excelsior!

  • http://victorplenty.blogspot.com Victor Plenty

    Eat a burger while reading Steve S, and it really will get all over the place.

  • http://ideaplace.blogspot.com Randy Kirk

    from comment 4 *Women who are offended that their men watch porn are likely suffering from some sort of self-image issues.

    Is it ever ok to lie to your wife? If she asks “Do I look fat in this?” the answer is clearly yes.

    Most (all?) women have self image issues. So do most (all) men. I’m trying to imagine the reaction of most men if they caught their wives checking out men’s endowments on the web and getting off on it.

    from comment 8 *Probably, but I would say that is because of the guys messed up view of himself, erotica, and his wife rather than being the fault of the porn.

    What is “messed up.” Aren’t we all “messed up” in some way or another. Is your idea of erotica or how a man should view himself the right and only idea.

    Since we know the nature of man is to want to “see” sexually something he hasn’t seen before, it seems to be a natural tendency. Built in, if you will. But we have lots of natural tendencies that need to be held in check as part of our being in various communities.

    I’m holding off on the definition for a minute, though the input has been great.

  • jarboy

    addictions (to alcohol, drugs, gambling, porn, etc.) lead to divorce, not the things themselves.

    some psychiatric experts believe that men who watch man-on-woman porn actually fantasize about being in the woman’s place and are latent or closeted homosexuals.

  • http://ideaplace.blogspot.com Randy Kirk

    Definition of porn. The other Supreme Court opinion suggested that it also had to do with the values in a community. So, having thought about this for a few hours, I think the commenters above have pretty much defined porn in terms of how our community would define it at this time.

    Your up masterblogger

  • http://adamantsun.blogspot.com Steve S

    What is “messed up.”

    Randy, you asked the question, what if men start to view their wives as ‘flawed’ because of what the men see on porn. I responded to that question, and I would think that situation qualifies as ‘messed up’. If you put images ahead of relationships, wouldn’t you say that is ‘messed up’?

    Aren’t we all “messed up” in some way or another.

    Yes, we are, but I was responding to a specific scenario that YOU created.

    Is your idea of erotica or how a man should view himself the right and only idea.

    No, Randy, if you want to turn things around now and state that it is acceptable for a person to prioritize porn over relationships, that is fine too. Just be consistent please in the future.

  • http://ideaplace.blogspot.com Randy Kirk

    Steve,

    I apologize in not being able to follow that. It is undoubtedly my pea brain that is going too slow today. Can you run that by me from another angle.

  • http://victorplenty.blogspot.com Victor Plenty

    Jarboy, happen to recall any sources for these pyschiatric experts and their interesting claim about the supposed latent homosexuality of men who watch heterosexual porn?

    Of course my curiosity is purely academic.

  • http://adamantsun.blogspot.com Steve S

    okay, you asked if it is likely that many men who view porn will become disenchanted with their wives.

    I said yes and that is messed up.

    You seem to have gotten offended.

    Nobody is perfect, I never claimed I am either, but I am smart enough to know that if you mix up your expectations and attractions within relationships to fantasy material, then that is messed up!!

  • http://ideaplace.blogspot.com Randy Kirk

    My reaction was to the idea that porn is somehow neutral. Nothing is neutral.

    Of course, there are men who can look at the most erotic pictures and be totally turned off. I know that I was in my teens. I was only turned on by the playboy type stuff.

    Later, I needed more and better to have an inpact.

    So, for me, the erotic material could become a substitute or fill some need I wasn’t getting filled. So I was messed up in that way. (In my case, I think it only interfered a little with my feelings regarding wife #1.)

    But it was the availability of the hard core porn that allowed me to progress. If it wasn’t there, no progression.

  • http://www.mondoirlando.com Aaron, Duke De Mondo

    what is porn?

    To sort of quote Sir Bill Hicks PHD (I’m going from memory);

    “Supreme court says porn is anything with no artistic worth, and causes sexual thought. Well shoot, sounds like every advert on TV to me. You know those Doublemint commercials with the two twins? I gotta be honest… i ain’t thinkin bout gum”

    god bless you Bill

  • http://adamantsun.blogspot.com Steve S

    Randy, I do admire your honesty in willing to share your experiences in your attempt to help others, I often do the same in my own way.

    You say porn is not neutral. I still say it is. The example you provide in comment 24 seems to indicate that it was YOU who needed more. How does that make porn not neutral? It is the same porn that was available before your ‘fix’ increased. It did not change, you did.

    And you conclude by saying it was the availablity of porn that ‘allowed you to progress’. So your reasoning is by removing porn, people like you won’t progress. So all of our free speech rights and our right to self expression must be curbed because some can’t handle it? The availability of porn is irrelevant to it’s neutrality. You can have one magazine and it’s neutral, you can have a bookstore on every street corner and the content is still neutral. What is not neutral is the your ability to take something in moderation. You needed someone else to do that for you, and now you seek to have that done for all, if I am correct.

  • http://ideaplace.blogspot.com Randy Kirk

    We may be disagreeing about a detail that doesn’t effect the result. Under your definition guns are neutral, tyrants are neutral, predators are neutral, its just how we react to them.

    I believe that many things are evil, in and of themselves, intrinsically. Porn is one of those things. I see such an minor amount of good that we as a society can possible get from it, as opposed to substantial amounts of bad consequences. Like LSD. Like Sub machine guns sold in gun shops or shows. Like abortion.

  • http://adamantsun.blogspot.com Steve S

    Under your definition guns are neutral, tyrants are neutral, predators are neutral, its just how we react to them.

    guns yes, tyrants and predators no. If you cannot see the difference then I’m not sure I can get you to see it anyway.

    I believe that many things are evil, in and of themselves, intrinsically.

    What is your definition of evil? How can an inanimate object have goodness or evilness in it? It just is, it does nothing on it’s own. All that can be done is the reaction to it.

  • http://ideaplace.blogspot.com Randy Kirk

    For now, at this late hour, my only way to describe how a thing can be evil is the way I did. If it provides very little or no visible good, but substantial evil, then it is itself evil.

    As I reflect, I’m not sure there are things in nature that are evil by this definition, because we may not be able to see the good (earthquakes, hurricanes), but some of those do appear to be evil.

  • http://adamantsun.blogspot.com Steve S

    okay, just for clarification, an earthquake is a shifting of continental plates to release built up pressure. The earth does it to relieve pressure from down below, not to be evil to humans. Hurricanes are caused by cold and hot air swirling together, this happens when air moves all over the world as it does. This isn’t done for evilness as much as it is a reaction between varying temperatures.

    Are we going to live in a world folks where Creationism is taught as a possibility in school, all mention of my community, my family must be negative, and natural weather or geographic events are messages from God? Be bad and you might get a tsunami!

    Is it rude of me to say I am physically ill by reading the seriousness here and knowing it is the sentiment of millions? Is this where our country is going?

  • http://ideaplace.blogspot.com Randy Kirk

    In general I don’t subscribe to the theory that natural disasters are sent by God as consequences. I tend to believe that God has created natural consequences for certain behaviors, pro and con.

    That doesn’t mean that some things that look like natural disasters, HIV for instance, isn’t a natural consequence. I know I picked a hot button, but please try to see it as a current example. I don’t see it as gay thing, but as a permiscuous sex and drug thing.

    There are plenty of folks, however, who believe as you describe. I’m not ready to count them out, but I’m not in that camp.

    However, that is a red herring as far as the science debate goes. If you are so sure of your science, let the other stuff in. Was it one of Herod’s men who said, let Jesus speak. If he’s not from God, he’ll just fade away like the rest.

    If intelligent design is so far off the mark, let it into the discussion, and it will fade away.

  • http://adamantsun.blogspot.com Steve S

    If intelligent design is so far off the mark, let it into the discussion, and it will fade away.

    That isn’t how religion works.

  • JR

    Do people actually think declining populations are a bad thing?

    Crazy!

  • http://paperfrigate.blogspot.com DrPat

    No, but some of do feel that declining populations in industrial societies are a rational, individual response to conditions in the society. After all, “society” does not have and raise children (regardless of what Hilary Clinton wrote); individual people do.

    When those individuals chose to have fewer children than their parents or grandparents might have, that is not a reason to “raise alarms” or castigate porn, the Internet, or even divorce lawyers.

    So declining populations are neither good nor bad per se, just a society-wide reflection of millions of individual choices.

  • Suzanne

    It’s too bad that people feel the need to turn to porn to find some excitement for their relationship. I know that my husband and I definately stay away from that because we know how the male mind works. Seeing that stuff really allows for mental adultry, if that makes sense, because the man either imagines himself with that woman or wishes his lady were like that woman. So honestly, I think any women should be angry and hurt if her husband wanted to view porn. Just my opinion.

  • Evan

    So we should now relegate what males think? If a man wants to fantasize during sex that he’s with another women, or that his wife is different, he will, regardless of whether he’s viewed pornographic material or not.

    “Seeing that stuff really allows for mental adultry”
    A teenage boy thinks about killing his father after a disagreement, does this mean he’s guilty of “mental” homicide?

  • http://adamash.blogspot.com adam

    Porn is a private matter between a man and his dick (a constitutional issue), and any woman — married, girlfriend or not — should butt the hell out.

  • http://adamantsun.blogspot.com Steve S

    it all depends on how one defines self worth. If one is offended that their spouse is fantasizing about someone else, then it is because of insecurity. Notice I did not mention ACTING on that fantasy but just fantasizing alone.

    My partner and I often fantasize about others and we also share those fantasys with each other. Neither one of us is offended by a daydream. We often ask each other, ‘would you sleep with this individual?’, knowing of course it means ‘if we weren’t together’.

    Sorry, Thou shalt desire me and me alone reeks of low self-esteem.

  • http://ideaplace.blogspot.com Randy Kirk

    In my studies and conversations with those who use porn or fantasize during sex with their partner, generally the reason is because they are not turned on enough by the partner to consumate the act. This may be ocassional, frequent, or all the time.

    Therefore the person whose partner is doing the fantasizing doesn’t need to have a poor self image. Their reason for being offended is likely because of truth, not their imagined concern.

  • http://adamantsun.blogspot.com Steve S

    It’s a difference of perspective, Randy, that’s all. What you say is true for many people I’m sure. But for a couple to be together for decades, seeing each other through thick and thin, growing older and grey together, being ‘turned on enough’ by each other has long since been proven, I would think. Maybe there are some out there who need that exclusivity (of lustful thoughts their way) their whole life, but others can come to know that love manifests itself in many ways and that the deeper love gets, the more soulful it gets and therefore the more lust gets removed from it, until it is simply pure lovemaking.

  • http://gonzo-marx.blogspot.com gonzo marx

    as anyone with any kind of extended “family” can tell you…

    Love is not diminished when multiplied

    a side Thought for Randy…i know you “work” in a field you refer to as an “addiction”…my definition differs a bit..when using the term i tend to go for things that create “withdrawl” symptomology…heroin, booze, crank(methamphetemines), the pharmaceutical opiates and so on…

    my ex-drummer is now a resident doctor of psychiatry at Mount Sinai, and we have hit this kind of topic a few times over the years…what you refer to as an “addiction” (porn,gambling,food, etc.)is actually a form of obssesive/compulsive disorder by his definitions…

    just another way of demonstratnig the fluidity of Symbols and how confusion can be caused due to erroneus epistomology…

    that’s why i ask folks to define their terms a lot…

    1) depends, any deceit is a prime cause for an Argument, but being honest and communicative is a prime tenet of being “married”, eh? same for the second half of the Question
    2) again, no excuse for deceit, otherwise, it’s between the folks involved..not my business..OR anyone else’s
    3)/sigh, see above…a bit of a curve ball here…the “if’s” connotate assumptions
    4)depends on the individual..i can only speak for myself…and..nope, not likely
    5)yes and not Society’s problem..be the fucking Parent, and don’t expect anyone else to do it for you…the State has no business in this
    6)as long as any applicable Laws are followed, it is covered under Free Speech (kids and goats and slaves/indentured performers violate laws folks)
    7)nope..except that people make mistakes about and with each other…the Symptom is NOT the “disease”…i would suggest not confusing the two
    8)this one starts out as an almost interestnig Question, but the second half of it in the parentheticals is pure speculation and prejudicial towards the original Question..snice i refute the two Postulates you specify, the Question becomes a non sequitor

    just my one sixth billionths of the world’s Opinion…

    your mileage may vary

    Excelsior!

  • tweekin peekin geekin out my windows 24/7

    smoking dope(meth)that is, and watching porn all day jackin off is the best thing in the world. the hell with pussy,give me a big ol fat sack of some white, or transparent a couple of top notch 7hr long pornos and im in heaven. meth and pornos is all i need.
    anybody who would disagree or think i got issues, all i could say is TOO BAD….you havent experienced shit unless you had sex or jacked off while you spun the fuck out!!!!!the best sex u could possibly remember having in your life (sober) doesnt even come close to what im talkin bout.

  • http://damnineedtogotobed crankster gangster

    why does meth make me so damn horny? everytime i get high all i want to do or all i can think about is sex. i dont even get high any more to get high, i wanna get high to jack off and watch porn, or screw around all night long with whatever dope ho that happens to be buggin me at the time. its like the second i take a hit, i cant even really have a normal conversation with anyone because all i can think about is watchin porn and jackin off,fuckin, or just havin fantasy’s about my homeboys girl. i dont think im addicted to dope anymore, im just addicted to watchin porn after i get high. DAMN IT, WHY THE HELL AM I WRITIN THIS SHIT? I MUST BE REAL FUCKIN HIGH TONIGHT. somebody give me an idea of why the hell meth does this to me? i have done all kinds of drugs but this is the only one that does it to me. peace out man, gotta go smoke and jack off again for the 20th time this hr.

  • http://none.com Bob A. Booey

    Here’s my question:

    Why is it so hard to find tasteful amateur interracial preggo big boob lactating cuckold MILF reverse cowgirl horse lover DVDA A2M gonzo gangbang bukkake foot fetish bondage barely legal schoolgirl meets senior citizen scat creampie films anymore in this country?

    They don’t seem to know what I’m talking about whenever I stumble into Blockbuster rambling with my pants around my ankles.

    This post automatically added a bunch of hits to this site via perv searches.

    I must give an assist to my roommates for helping me write that hilarious joke. Any of you (ahem, RJ) who knew what any of that meant need to visit a church.

    That is all.

  • sidney

    should it be legal for children to post up necked images of themselves on the internet

  • DC

    My wife and I watch loads of porn it goets us going and we have many many hours of amazing sex as a result. We watch consenting adults, we dont really imagine having sex with anyone in the films and to say that is how the male mind works is ridiculous. In my experience women who are confident enough to watch porn with their partner love it. Generally those who fear porn are women who feel threatened by their body image problems – which usually means they dont feel secure in the relationship in the first place – and men who feel intimidated by the physical attributes and stamina of male porn stars. Also I have found that many people who are critical of porn (probably the vast majority of such people) actually enjoy it but are not in touch with their own sexuality enough to admit it which is why their sex lives are boring they criticise others, have loveless relationships and get divorced.

  • http://aol willhelm holt

    you can find any kind of porn you want right? No anything but a black man getting it from behind from a white girl a femdom no cbt seems the black man not only has its own word,butt they are above that?

  • http://aol willhelm holt

    I’m not a hater do you know if you do a search using the n____r word more than 3 times you will be kick off of aol. freedom over his ass!!!! I think not no freedom of speech, with the n word. you most likly will get a visit from a hate group rep. Or the fbi will add it to your file. like I care… what happened? to the white man, he cowers behind the black,thats what happened……..

  • K

    I started googleing porn addictions and the consequences this morning after catching my husband watching rather graphic and disturbing porn last night. This is something that we have talked about twice before, each converstaion ending in “no more porn”.

    The online video(as it was before) was drastically worse than the ones before, and actually an act he has asked me to do. I am not a cheap whore-nor will I act as one.
    I have to say that I have never been more deeply hurt in my life. What should this make me feel like? certainly not the woman I though I was to him.

    It is a slap in the face- a “you arent good enough for me so i’ll find it elsewhere.” And then furthermore it seems like a progression.. where will it lead next? Stepping outside of our relationship? Seriously now, he masturbates to these other women doing these repulsive things-evidently on a regular basis(even though we have sex nearly every day), so what would it be to step outside?

    As I mentioned we have sex quite frequently, but now when he closes his eyes I know what he’s thinking about-not me! and it is completely disgusting. He sees me apparently as nothing but a shell- an object to gain his own pleasure.
    quite honestly it makes me sick to my stomach. I dont think I will ever be able to trust someone as i did (& geuss i shouldnt have) him.

    Porn addiction has ruined a very big and important part of my life. All of you men should really start thinking of someone other than yourself. and it is just that- complete selfishness.

  • valarie

    I was involved very recently in a on-line relationship with a co-worker in Florida. I live in California. It started off very innocent, but quickly the conversations turned sexual in nature, and I found myself caught up in exposing very intimate details about myself sexually to this man. He would email me explicit sexual type scenarios, and I would fill in the blanks, and loving to write as I do I found it very addictive, and somewhat enjoyable. This man admitted to having a porn addiction, and it is why I’m checking these type of sites out today. I flew to Florida to meet him (I had never seen him before this). While I knew he was attracted, I could see that he was also afraid, because his porn world was entering the real world. He has a girlfriend, and I have always felt that writing about sex is also cheating. The girlfriend found out, but felt as long as no one had a sexual connection it was ok?? I’m reading these sites not only to understand him better, but to figure out what happened to me. I found that writing about sex was very alluring, and even though I stopped talking to him, I miss the whole experience.