Home / “Pubic Pants”: Happy Trails to You

“Pubic Pants”: Happy Trails to You

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Much has been said about how jeans are plunging lower and lower the past few seasons. By “much has been said” I pretty much mean an item appeared on the Drudge Report earlier this week which means it must be news.

But with these on-going culture wars going on things like this just add fuel to the fire.

The daring duo at Dolce & Gabbana has dropped the boundaries several inches. Their fall 2005 menswear line, which debuted on the Milan runway in January and now appears in print ads and stores near you, includes jeans that plunge so low that they’ve been dubbed “pubic pants.”

Mmmm “pubic pants.” I don’t know about you but pubes do offend me. There’s nothing like finding a disembodied pube on a toilet seat after you use it to prompt a heart attack. But are these “pubic pants” so new? Methinks not.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve heard of the phenomena known as “plumber butt” or “plumber’s crack.” In the late 80’s and early 90’s, hip-hop artists started wearing their pants well below the waistline. Then there was The Thong Song which prompted the global village of women to display their stringy undergarments. Now, I can’t walk anywhere in New York without seeing some woman’s butt crack as she reaches for a newspaper or her iPod.

Low. Ri. Der. Is a real goer
Is the ad that bad? Take a look for yourself. Hmmm … Good taste? Not so much.

Krista Olofsson, a Fashion Institute of Technology student sporting multiple piercings, thought the ad went too far below the belt.

“That’s a little gross,” said Olofsson, 18. “I don’t want to see someone’s private hair falling out of their pants.”

Olofsson thought men’s low-riders might briefly catch on in New York, but “then people will say, ‘Let’s pull our pants up and move on to the next thing.'” [emphasis mine]

Come on people, say it with me — “pubic hair” not private hair. We’re all adults here.

It’s no secret that sex sells, said Jill M. Sundie who teaches marketing at the University of Houston.

“I think that this particular one is something that we haven’t seen all that often,” she said. “(Let’s say) you ask women what’s your favorite part of a man’s body? They will not name the part below their waistline and right above their penis.”

I seem to remember much ballyhoo over “that part” from the movie “Fight Club.” Oh that Brad Pitt. But I digress. My main point contention is this

Those Calvin Klein ads in the ’80s were effective because they were dripping with sex appeal. When a 15-year-old Brooke Shields, under the direction of Richard Avedon, said, “You know what comes between me and my Calvins? Nothing,” we squirmed.

Um unless 15 is the new 18, we squirmed because it was a little dirty. Come on, barely (no so) legals announcing they were going commando? But hey it pushed the envelope as this campaign does. Heck, what fashion company wouldn’t like to create a little buzz and controversy.

And what about Dolce? Well they seem to be doing something right. Amidst terrorism, an Iraq war and a languishing luxury goods industry, they “rock out with the cock out.” 2004 sales were $689.2M (US), 50 and 78 percent respectively. Not bad for company that sells $300 t-shirts.

But still some are going to be offended by an ad for men, that ran exclusively in a men’s magazine. I’m going to ignore the obvious digs at World Net Daily for quoting someone named “Peter Wood” in an article on peters. But I can’t ignore the kicker (and sales pitch)

In WND Books’ latest release, “The Marketing of Evil,” David Kupelian takes a shocking look at how Madison Avenue has hoodwinked Americans, causing them to fall victim to some of the most stunningly brilliant and compelling marketing campaigns in modern history. Subtitled “How Radicals, Elitists, and Pseudo-Experts Sell Us Corruption Disguised as Freedom,” the book is an up-close, modern-day look at what is traditionally known as “temptation” – the art and science of making evil look good.

“Marketing of Evil” deals not only with the selling of increasingly sexualized products to youth and others, but explores how the acceptance of divorce, abortion and other concepts have been marketed to the American people.

Yes. Pubic hair is now a part of the axis of evil. I’d argue the opposite actual. Because if the model did happen to shave down the happy trail, that would border on metrosexuality. And that, my friends is the true evil.

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  • The ad is not that bad at all, especially compared to some of the ads out there today – but I’d really rather not have to see a stranger’s pubic hair sticking out of their pants when I’m out.

    Maybe I’m just weird.

  • Nancy

    “Sex appeal” doesn’t necessarily mean pushing it all in everyone’s face. Sexy actually depends more on a sense of titillation (so to speak) and hints, not gross indulgence & exposure, altho it could be argued that’s in the eye (or mind) of the beholder. But what is ‘sexier’: a totally nude woman, or one in a lacy peek-a-boo type thingy? A guy waving his pubes in your face, or one dressed nicely but just snugly enough to delineate the musculature beneath? I think perhaps these marketers are just reaching: having already dropped the fashion bar as low as they have previously, they don’t feel they have anywhere to go but lower, which is a real problem when you’ve pretty much bottomed out.

  • “Sex appeal” doesn’t necessarily mean pushing it all in everyone’s face.

    I completely agree, Nancy, and sadly, that seems to be the direction that a lot of places (and people) are going.

  • Click on the Secret music video… and enjoy. Just curious.. do those pants even need a zipper. The Ad is a bit much for me, but I can undestand the visual. It is almost Davidesque with the lines of the torso. Maybe we are going for that perfection.. I mean it is about time men get an eating disorder also and have random operatations to fit the perfect image of a man.. well, maybe a teen who works out every day for 3-4 hours and gets his picture air brushed so he looks like the perfect image of a man.

  • click on my name for the web page and play the “Secret” video

  • Metrosexuals shave down there. Real men pluck.

  • I just reach down and pull. Whatever comes out gets thrown away. Whatever stays put, well, it was meant to be there.

    I call it “destiny grooming”

  • Nice try, Matt, but true manhood takes tweezers.

  • Nancy

    Why not go for mass pain: try waxing.

  • You can’t pluck that shit. I shave, proudly, all the way down.

    Those jeans are disgusting unless you shave. It looks painful to have a hairy bush hanging out of your pants like that.

    Women’s jeans have been hanging that low for a whlie already, but they wax and shave much more than men do. It’s a much hotter look on chicks than dudes, unless you’re really cut and defined.

    That is all.

  • Shaving = the appearance of larger package. By decreasing the surrounding area, the central phallus will appear bigger. It could be a big help to some around here.

    Btw, I’m shocked that EO let a poster be named ‘yourdailycockblock’. I’m jealous. I want a vulgar handle too.

  • Please, let’s not discuss shaving. It’s icky.

    The reason to do it isn’t to make you feel better about your manhood or lack thereof, fellows. No one’s fooled and I don’t like theories about the appearance of penis size. It just seems more hygenic to me — once I started shaving, it started to become uncomfortable and even annoying when it grew back to a certain length. That’s why I shave every couple of weeks.

    For you single or married boys over 35 or so, I’d say it’s not worth it. At a certain age, it becomes somewhat creepy because women want you to appear more normal and stable than like a sex porn freak. Maybe a little trim, but don’t shave way down or you’ll scare off the nice girls. And you can’t get the hot, bad girls after 35 unless you’re rich, which makes your pubes unimportant. If you’re married or seriously committed, your wife or common-law wife is already used to your most unattractive features and sick of your body already, so don’t bother.

    Feel free to ask me for any other advice on being a modern guy.

    That is all.

  • Bob, that is seriously funny.

    A trim is definitely important for some guys.

    What a conversation starter: should guys shave/wax their private bits? I’d much rather guys tend to the lower regions, than say, plucking their eyebrows.

  • Those jeans look like something leatherboys from the 70s would have been wearing.


  • Thanks, Violet.

    Are you a chick? I remember you were the goth space alien one who likes dead celebrities.

    I don’t suggest starting this conversation at all. I will say that it’s very hard for men to wax — unless you’re a marine and don’t mind having your twig and berries ripped raw and losing half your sperm count in the process. I wouldn’t suggest shaving if you’re squeamish at all either — I’ve been doing it since high school and even I slightly knick myself at least once every 2 or 3 times I do. The WORST is shaving your boys down because those bastards just want to retreat and hide and it’s just not a natural thing. It’s not pleasant and you’re likely to knick yourself in a pretty bad place. And don’t use a razor — you’ll castrate yourself.

    That is all.

  • I’ve never seen a guy discuss their grooming rituals before with such detail. I can’t imagine a guy would actually want to put themselves through waxing the manly bits. I mean, ouch?

    Yes, Bob, I’m a “chick”.

  • I’m a special kind of guy like that. I love myself and my body.

    I suppose it doesn’t hurt anymore than chicks waxing their shit, ya know?

    Are you hot, Violet? Or like artsy?

    That is all.

  • >>I’ve never seen a guy discuss their grooming rituals before with such detail. << Me either, and I hope I never do again. Dave

  • And Dave is right about the leatherboys. I can’t imagine that ad would appeal to heterosexual men or women.

    That is all.

  • It’s a public service so none of the rest of you will talk about shaving 🙂 Your questions and wondering have been answered.

    Dave’s outraged with his hairy gray bush!

    That is all.

  • Advantage of plucking: no blades near “the boys.”

  • While I don’t think the ad is as bad as people are making it out to be, I don’t find the ad that appealing at all, as a woman.

    That guy needs to get himself to a gym and work on that flabby stomach of his….

  • BTW, kudos to whoever did that alternate text!

  • You know this style will be taken up by 40+ guys with love-handles, don’t you?

    Think of salt-and-pepper pubes sprouting over the belt, hidden from the wearer’s view by his well-developed pot, but clearly visible to everyone else.

    Yuck. Just yuck!

  • I’m guessing that ad doesn’t run in Field & Stream.

  • I was wondering when super-low slung pants would be out for males. I was sort of glad they hadn’t come out yet. I’m guessing that they won’t catch on with most males because they like to be comforable and unselfconscious.

    Fashion ads seem get a lot of mileage from being shocking. Perhaps nothing else was left but this? No, I’d rather not see some stranger’s pubic hair like that.

    “You know this style will be taken up by 40+ guys with love-handles, don’t you? Think of salt-and-pepper pubes sprouting over the belt, hidden from the wearer’s view by his well-developed pot, but clearly visible to everyone else. —DrPat”

    I would have seen this as a joke but chubby, out of shape woman are defiantly wearing belly shirts and low slung jeans, their beer bellies and hip handles out for all the world to see so it could happen. There’s no limit on who has a shaved head, piercings, tatoos, etc.

    Before the general male population starts shaving their pubic hair we need to take care of a lot of hairy backs and unibrows. It might be good for males who insist their women shave their pubic hair or get bikini waxes do that themselves, though. Could cure a lot of nonsense.

  • Wow! Is that a poodle in your jeans, or are ya happy to be really gross?
    Bobba I am floored.
    Cerulean’s comment right on target! Out with the Unibrows! Let’s wax ’em.

  • Torrin Paige

    Hmm..just to weigh in….if the model in question had, in fact, shaved..I would find it very sexy, being a hetero woman myself. The hair is a little much, but I don’t find it offensive..just a bit, umm, bushy. As far as male grooming goes, I asked my hubby to shave…he did..and I find it much more attractive. But that’s me. Now onto the topic of this stupid low-slung jeans craze.
    As a curvy girl myself I have found it very difficult to find any jeans that go up to the waist…except for tapered leg “Mom jeans”. I don’t perticularly want my soft self hanging over the tops of my jeans, but it’s hard to find any made correctly anymore. It’s about time men have the same problem. Maybe then the manufacturers will start making normal damned jeans again. If enough men are uncomfortable, shit tends to get done. Just an observation.

  • Hit the treadmill and don’t buy Mom Jeans, Torrin. Be a MILF and wear em low.

    That is all.

  • starry

    i would love to see you in those D&C jeans Bob…

  • I know, Starry 🙂 You and the rest of the women in America.

    It’s D & G though, honey.

    What you offering, baby? I’ll model for you girls if the price is right.

    And I’ll give all your men tips on how to groom themselves and be almost sexy for y’all. But they’ll probably end up cheating on you if I make them even somewhat near the same species as me.

    That is all.

  • I find them rather low, a bit to low perhaps. I suppose that what goes down will go up a bit later.

    Shaving, not for me, taking a bit off, so its a bit shorter, as some ladies seem to like, that would go.

  • Jo

    hmmmmmm…. im thinking im getting old as my first reaction was… pull your pants up and put on a shirt…..

  • Nick

    Well im a 17 year old bloke, and i’d say im a pretty good looking bloke. but seriously, there is no way in the name of all things holy that i would ever wear something like that. If you’re going to wear something like that, why not save yourself the stupidly large amount of money you’re going to pay, and just go sans pants?

  • Nick, that is certainly a cheaper way to go! Imagine the money we could all save if we went around pantless.

  • Ron

    I have the tees to go with the pants at the Plumberpants Clothing Co.

  • No pants! Hadn’t thought of that.

    Torrin, you might look at Ross’s and also catalogs. If you have jeans slightly below the natural waist with a wide belt that is sort of the look without the low slungness. One thing I did was pick out the hems and side seams of some “mom” jeans and they became bell bottoms. I just left them unraveled.

    I see young girls all the time who are not overweight but they are pouchy and have no muscle tone, with boxy hip handles sticking out of their low slung jeans. First of all when I was young, no young girls had figures like that, but the main thing is that that style just looks wrong on them.

    On the other hand, I’ve spent many hours trying to remake clothes to be stylish yet not totally whorelike. It has gotten exhausting. I went out the other day I went out in a strappy tank top with black bra straps visible and I got some dirty looks. It was a hot August day and I just shined them on as best I could. I didn’t want to wear the formadehyde shellacked mommy tank tops I had and I didn’t want to remake that one.

  • I think that men should at least trim a little just as common courtesy if they are planning on having oral sex with a woman. I’m sorry but I just can’t stand having to whack through the bush and come out with leaves in my teeth. It’s gross when it gets too big and boys just to let you know if you shave your balls you increase the sexual pleasure you recieve

  • Good for you, Tinx. You go on with your teabagged self, girl.

    Yeah, fat chicks shouldn’t wear low-riding jeans.

    That is all.

  • Oh dear.

    How american is a statement like ” selling of increasingly sexualized products to youth and others, but explores how the acceptance of divorce, abortion and other concepts have been marketed to the American people”

    Why are you sooo puritan in the US, the rest of the world IE 95% of the earths population accept these things. You in the US have the christian right and yet you have an enormous divorce rate, much higher in fact than European “non religeous countries”. How can that be?

    I guess a lot of you also have problems with low cut jeans because you as a people are so obese.

    Most of you can probably not see your own pubic hair as you are so fat anyway..

  • Biff69

    I rather enjoy the ad. I too sport “pubic pant” and have received many wonderful compliments on such things as the tidiness of said region. Heck, I even had one dude who love the pattern my crop naturally grows in. Kinda weird, but it happened nonetheless. It’s all about personal expression, really.

  • STM

    Nancy said in #2: ” ‘Sex appeal’ doesn’t necessarily mean pushing it all in everyone’s face.”

    … as it were