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PSP Review: Pocket Pool

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The following review is rated AO (Adults Only) by the Blogcritics Rating System for Crude Immature humor, pathetic grasps for a laugh, some insecurity on the part of the writer. This review can also be found on no other website, as they feared their credibility slipping away.

The amount of potential jokes in the game’s title notwithstanding, Pocket Pool is a solid simulation, lacking in a feature set that would lead to worthwhile replay value. Without online infrastructure, you’ll be playing Pocket Pool by yourself most of the time. That last line was written with no pun intended we swear.

Absolutely awful music greets the player initially, along with a sexually suggestive video that involves plenty of sticks and balls on a pool table. Into the menu system, you’re greeted by countless still photos of women wearing the minimum required skin/clothing ratio to snag the M rating. From here, you can select how you want to play Pocket Pool.

A rack… err, stack of gameplay modes are available, from 8 ball to snooker variations. The developers obviously focused on how many different means there are to play Pocket Pool, some of which may not even be familiar to you. Multi-player is only available locally, and you’ll need two copies of the game. Good luck convincing friends to play Pocket Pool with you. No pun intended there either.

The game’s lack of central gameplay mode is disappointing. You’ll play standard matches with random clichéd players, all looking for a piece of Pocket Pool action. Dialog ranges from hideous to hysterically funny, particularly as the girls discuss your playing skills, or lack thereof in truly depressing situations.

Actual gameplay offers plenty of views to see the table and the location of your remaining balls. Hitting the balls reveals an odd system that manages to be both too easy and completely non-interactive. Instead of dreaming up an analog system to hit with, you’re given a system that only requires you to hit right on the d-pad after adjusting it with up. While it’s easy to misjudge how much power you need on the given ball, it’s hard to play Pocket Pool like the real thing, where it’s standard human error to go too hard or soft even for a pro.

Physics feel off, the balls seemingly too heavy for any real action. You’ll need to make a speed adjustment from the options menu to figure out which works best for you. None of the available options make it feel right, but there’s some reasonably realistic Pocket Pool to be had.

Extras come in the form of new tables, cues, environments, and balls. Non-nudity filled pictures and video of the featured girls are also available if you play enough Pocket Pool. It takes a lot of work to finally make this pay off, and if this is the key reason you’re playing, you’d be better off on the internet.

For those not aware, the PSP is capable of displaying pictures and video. It makes spending hours on Pocket Pool a waste of time when there are avenues that can get you where you’re trying to go a lot faster. Unless you’re desperate to play on the road with a car full of others, there are better ways to keep yourself entertained.

Pocket Pool is rated M (Mature) by the ESRB for Partial Nudity and Sexual Themes.

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About Matt Paprocki

Matt Paprocki has critiqued home media and video games for 13 years and is the reviews editor for His current passion project is the technically minded You can read Matt's body of work via his personal WordPress blog, and follow him on Twitter @Matt_Paprocki.