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Protesters Go To Jupiter To Get More Stupider

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Oh, tea partygoers. You know you're not supposed to use bad words.

We all learned this fact in preschool when your mother took you to Kids 'R Us for clothes shopping. Remember? They had this big electronic Tic-Tac-Toe game, but you couldn't play it because this other child, whose skin pigment was very different from yours, was there first. And then you asked your mother in an indiscreet tone, "Can I play it after that brown faced girl is done?"

The lesson here is that racism is only cute when you're four years old. These adults are closer to 40 and posses jobs and 401Ks and outrageous cell phone bills. And they're calling congressmen niggers and faggots. They may as well be treated like they're four years old. Let's send them home without any dessert or health care.

Nothing poisons the pool more than getting a large crowd together to conscientiously object to something. (Remember all those "Kill Bush" signs during the Iraq war protests? And in the original Boston Tea Party, there was the offensive placard that read "The King dreſseſ in maternal garmentſ.") So just invite fewer people! Then again, a protest isn't successful unless lots of people show up, are mad as hell, and make it known that they're not going to take it anymore.

But as the following graph proves, the mental capacity (IQ) of a person in a group is inversely proportional to the number of humans (size) of said group:


So as you can see, combined intelligence is not a sum or even an average. I don't even think a layman's mathematical term applies to this phenomenon. We may need to break out some quantum physics for this one.

And it's not just protesters that suffer this absence of acuity. It happens everywhere. Traffic jams. Sporting events. A theater showing The Backup Plan. Places on the Internet where comments can be found. We don't expect much from these settings other than to witness some type of brainless asshole rise above his peers and steal the headlines. And we REALLY don't expect these protests to be self-policing. It's such an emotional experience, nobody is going to be the buzzkill by telling their outraged neighbor comparing an obscure House congressman to Hitler to try a different method of social activism that won't make the front page of the Huffington Post.

Because that person is too busy comparing a different House congressman to Genghis Khan.

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About Suss

  • Montana

    Since their inception the Teaparty crowd (not a movement since they do have the numbers or clout) have been “haters not debaters”. In my opinion this is what the small portions of the republican party of “birthers, baggers and blowhards” have brought you. They are good at “Follow the Leader” of their dullard leaders, they listen to Beck, Hedgecock, Hannity, O’Reilly, Rush and Savage and the rest of the Blowhards. Are you surprise at what they do when you know what they think? The world is complicated and most republicans (Hamiliton, Lincoln, Roosevelt) believe that we should use government a little to increase social mobility, now its about dancing around the claim of government is the problem. The sainted Reagan passed the biggest tax increase in American history and as a result federal employment increased, but facts are lost when mired in mysticism and superstition. Although some republicans are trying to distant themselves from this fringe most of them are just going along and fanning the flames. Lets face it the Republicans had 8 years to deal with health care, immigration and financial oversight and governance and they failed. They could not even win one of the two wars they started, the body bags are still coming in. The Republicans wanted to give Obama his Waterloo defeat over healthcare but instead they gave themselves their own Waterloo defeat by not participating in the debate of ideas and by becoming the party of obstructionist. But they now claim they have changed, come on, what sucker is going to believe that?

  • If one were to look at the Amazon link above one would notice that one is referred to Idiocracy, arguably a prophetic movie which shall be viewed in 1,000 years as a great literary piece foretelling the destiny of humankind. There’ll even be a group who will claim that the movie was written by a man on an island having visions. In reality it was probably a dude sitting on a toilet smoking a joint. But that’s how we are. We dress things up.

  • A Geek Girl

    Suss, you’re the first person to actually make me laugh over this. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I almost forgot that stupidity can be funny. I almost lost my humor.

    But I am confused by Luke’s initial comment. “Garbage liberal-minded article” Only liberals think the words faggot and nigger are wrong? “When taxes go up even more tell me how great universal health care is” I didn’t read anything about universal health care, great or otherwise. Are you commenting about a different article?

    Arch, “What was the point of this article” — It’s humor Arch, like truth, it needs no defense. There’s actually an audience for humor on BC as well. Not everyone comes here looking for a fight, some of us come for the brilliant wit and irony of the BC writers. I did like your article suggestion though. Now that would be funny.

  • Oh, the KKK. I thought this was about Illinois! Oh, OK, I get it. You are referring to #23 as reprehensible? This is what I wrote:
    OK, because the KKK is racist we forget that they do maintain some positions which make sense.

    Now the basis for the adherence to the KKK is most definitely wrong. The KKK is most definitely a racist organization. The KKK is in many ways a domestic threat to the sovereignty of our nation. However, the points which I refer to come straight from one of their own leaflets and I note them for you below:

    Neither the Conservatives nor the Liberals will save our nation, for patriots always save a nation.

    An informed citizen is a good citizen.

    Our governmental system is a Constitutional Republic, primarily designed to protect the Responsible, Individual Citizens from all tyranny: which selects its representatives by both the direct and the indirect Democratic process; and recognizes the necessity for the existence of an effective Loyal Opposition to any current Administration.

    Just because I cited three things they proclaim doesn’t make me a card carrying member.

    The purpose of this exercise was to point out that every facet of the jewel known as the United States maintains the clarity. We need to hear what opposing views have to say. I mean REALLY hear them. We have to understand why they have arrived at their own points of view so we can fine tune our own.

    The advances of civilization through industry and culture have changed the paradigm for the human condition. While we are far ahead in these aspects, anthropologically speaking we are mere infants. We have not come to fully appreciate how far we’ve advanced because we’ve neglected the fact that advancement of thought cannot occur until we reject the ideas of old.

    It was true when the Hebrews made their way out of Egypt. It was true when Christians overthrew the Roman Gods. It was true when Mohammad made his case before the oppressed in Arabia.

    We are at that stage yet again. This is the transition period for thought and it continues to be quite painful.

  • Silas the humorist. Great show.

    But I still don’t see how your response vindicates the views and opinions of the KKKers.

    I’ll take my response off the air.

  • As an inhabitant of a Louisiana Purchase state AND a very blue state too (Illinois), I take umbrage, Mr. Kain. Umbrage!

    And your umbrage is most welcome. My statement while being made in jest was in complete reaction to the preposterous shenanigans in Congress this weekend past when the Louisiana Purchase was invoked more often than not.

    But now that Pandora’s box has been opened, let’s dig a little deeper. Did anyone ever learn about the Louisiana Purchase in school? Does anyone understand this purchase bailed out the French after a Haitian slave revolt? Has anyone considered the poverty and corruption on Haiti which has lasted for several generations are a direct result of Jefferson’s purchase? I didn’t think so. We only learn the thumbnails of history not the dynamics. Pat Robertson says an earthquake on Haiti was God’s retribution – the right stays ominously silent. I make an off the cuff remark and I get slammed. Duplicity – such an American sport. But that’s the way it goes, right?

    Education has taken a turn for the worse in this country.

    Taken a turn for the worse? I refer to my comment above and go further to state quite unequivocally that I have maintained for several years right here on Blogcritics that our public education system is the root cause of why we’re such a stupid, self-serving, consumerist society. And that education system has been created by a band of self-serving, corrupt legislators sitting in the halls of Congress who spend the majority of their time (on our dime, mind you) gathering cash and political weaponry for the next election.

    Anyway, I part saying that the members of the original Boston Tea Party did injury to the Native American, dressing in crude feathers and buckskins so as to pass the destruction of the tea off on the innocent party.

    And I’ll say it again, if we don’t want history to repeat itself, we must cease repeating the behavior of our ancestors. That which has passed is in the past. Our children and theirs deserve an opportunity to be presented an education free of state and religious sanitization. This is the age of technological reason which is populated by the technologically unreasonable.

    I do think he’s got a lot of explaining to do. Thanks for bringing my attention to his rather incomprehensible comment.

    Well, Roger, I will make a note of it. But let’s look a little more closely at those Louisiana Purchase states. Illinois, decidedly blue, perpetually corrupt. That being said, three of my political heroes came from Illinois – Everett Dirksen, Abraham Lincoln and Ronald Reagan.

    Other states included in the super deal with the French: Arkansas (Bill Clinton), Missouri (John Ashcroft), Iowa (the Presidential coronation state), Oklahoma (Tom Coburn), Kansas (Sam Brownback), Nebraska (land of HCR deals), parts of Minnesota (Al Franken), most of North Dakota (Kent Conrad), nearly all of South Dakota (Tom Daschle), northeastern New Mexico (Tom Udall) , the portions of Montana (Max Baucus), Wyoming (Dick Cheney), and Colorado (Tom Tancredo). Then, of course, there is the crown jewel of them all – Louisiana home of Hale Boggs, Bobby Jindall and Mary Landrieu not to mention James Carville.

    Who knew such a great deal would create political stories of legend?

    Or how about the debt to China?

    What about it? I say empty all the campaign accounts and make a balloon payment to Beijing.

  • “They blindly follow the so-called conservative philosophy, but are never get invited to the real party.”

    This is a gem.

  • iDiaz

    I wish there was this much passion about incurring debt to go to an unnecessary war where our young citizens have died, or paying big bonuses to the financial institutions’ leaders who failed in their jobs, or the issues that caused the mortgage industry problems, or the subsidizing of foods that contribute to an obese population, which causes most of our health care problems. Or how about the debt to China?

  • My Name is Earl

    The U.S. citizenry has the collective IQ of a gnat. The Tea Party types, even less. Where was the outrage when the two wars were started and no one to pay for them? I love these idiots. The blindly follow the so-called conservative philosophy, but are never get invited to the real party. Fools!

  • I’m with you, Lynn. Mr. Kain is usually a reasonable fellow, more reasonable than most. I do think he’s got a lot of explaining to do.

    Thanks for bringing my attention to his rather incomprehensible comment.

  • I suggest that you folks take a few minutes to read the opinions of African American Republicans – large numbers of them – on this and related subjects. It might help dispel some of your prejudices.


  • As an inhabitant of a Louisiana Purchase state AND a very blue state too (Illinois), I take umbrage, Mr. Kain. Umbrage!
    However, I shall not call you any of the foolish names that have been flying around during this most depressing of political seasons.
    I only want to know why tea partiers think that the Nazis, those who adored their mythical Aryan race, would put Barack Obama in the guise of Hilter. One would think he’d be first into the ovens. And don’t they understand that the “s” word in National Socialist Party meant nothing like what they think it did. Education has taken a turn for the worse in this country.

    Anyway, I part saying that the members of the original Boston Tea Party did injury to the Native American, dressing in crude feathers and buckskins so as to pass the destruction of the tea off on the innocent party. So there’s plenty of evil-mindedness to go around.

  • Let’s put it this way, zing. The protesters were not card-carrying members. But they certainly stooped, if only once and on this one particular occasion (and no other, I hasten to add) to that level.

    I think Baronius ought to enroll in a refresher course in logic, rhetoric and basic psychology before jumping in the ring with his intellectual superiors.

    There, I said it!

  • One could argue in fact, and with much greater efficacy, that it’s precisely the instances of provocation that tend to invoke people’s true feelings and sentiments, sentiments which, under ordinary circumstances, they manage to keep under wraps.

  • I suppose Baronius’s argument is that provocation justifies the reaction, and that it was merely a reaction, it shouldn’t count as a bone fide expression of where the person is at.

    Odd logic indeed.

  • zingzing

    one should also check in with reality… the kkk is a far-right organization. certainly not indicative of most right wing people, but to claim that the kkk doesn’t mirror the right wing at its worst is just blindness.

  • But Leroy was right. The repressed racism was in fact unleashed – unless you want to call it something else.

    And it certainly wasn’t “left-wing,” though I wouldn’t deny the possibility either.

    So what’s your argument, exactly.

  • Baronius

    I’m just saying that if Leroy wants to throw around accusations of right-wing racism, he should sit down with a history book first.

  • He’d managed to keep it rather hidden thus far. But I guess mass psychosis is teleportable.

    Think of infection by a virus from a distance.

  • Baronius, you’re starting to sound like Barger.

  • zingzing

    mhmm. you really want to go down that road, baronius?

  • Baronius

    The KKK is already at the table, thanks to the Democratic voters of West Virginia.

  • zingzing


  • OK, because the KKK is racist we forget that they do maintain some positions which make sense. Maybe we need to look at those positions and come up with a compromise which brings KKKers to the table. Enough division, folks. Let’s start talking.

  • Baronius

    Yeah, rightist racism. Because that’s what the KKK was, rightist.

  • “There was nothing in my comment that even came close to being racist”

    Maybe Hawk was referring to Matt’s stupider thesis

    “Just what BC needs, another moron posting.”

    Are you worried about being replaced?

  • And another Jovian has been outed: Randy Neugebauer, R-TX, confirms he called Rep. Bart Stupak ‘baby killer’. We should demand nothing less than censure in the well of the House. He has a very interesting list of political contributions. If I live din his district, I would be furious!

  • Doug Hunter

    “To put it plainly, I’ve got nothing in common with those people.”

    I think alot of people feel this way, on either side. I know it’s an old fashioned idea but it’d be nice to do these things on a state by state basis. States, or groups of them, that want nothing to do with healthcare could go without, some could go with reform, and others could go with universal or single payer. People could vote with their feet which system they prefer. I suspect liberals wouldn’t appreciate this freedom to choose either though, what say you?

  • Doug Hunter


    I don’t know how raising trillions (and spending trillions more) in new taxes, creating and extending a massive entitlement which puts people further into the dependency on the government, and putting the feds more in control of 1/6 of the economy than they already are doesn’t involve more power and control by politicians. We’re back to the ‘everyone on the other side appears insane’ stage.

    Perhaps you simply mean you agree with the way they are exerting their power (or are simply blinded by the prospect of receiving your own share of the redistribution). In any case, the rest of your comment didn’t cover any ground I hadn’t already addressed: To those who approve of more government I seem crazy, to me you seem crazy.

    The primary difference being my politics in no way seek to use the power of the government to mandate you to do anything, the reverse is certainly not true, hence my interest in the subject.

  • Poor Jupiter.

  • It’s time to think beyond America, Silas, scary as such an idea may be.

    To put it plainly, I’ve got nothing in common with those people. Indeed, Sussman is right, they are from another planet.

  • Amen, Roger. Discouraging, isn’t it? I’m really gravitating toward a new paradigm which thinks outside the borders of the USA. I’m even frightening myself.

  • I’d say they’ve already made that trip, Silas, a one-way ticket to ride.

  • Protesters don’t need to go to Jupiter to be stupider. They usually live in one of the Louisiana Purchase states.

  • ACMESalesRep

    I’m not sure how people wanting an intelligent health care plan equates to “desir[ing] that these politicians should have even more power and control over their lives”, but I can certainly see how it equates to desiring that HMO’s have less. It’s mindbogglingly insane to me that people have tolerated this intrusion into the necessities of life by private interests unaccountable to anyone but themselves for as long as they have. But people probably think I’m crazy for recognizing, as history has shown us repeatedly, that governments do a far better job than the private sector at providing essential services.

  • um, am i the only one who laughed?

  • When taxes go up even more tell me how great universal health care is

    Even more than what?

  • Doug Hunter

    Using these power words is the height of stupidity as they, rightly or wrongly, place the utterer somewhere between the moral equivalence of a rapist pedophile and and animal torturer. The effect is so powerful it also spreads to and taints any number of people represented by the group. When you say one of these words, they win, you lose… period. (and you just might end up on the national news)

    As to the general mentality, that is the frustration of the powerless. Sometimes it manifests itself in screaming the most obscene of obscenities, other times it’s assault and battery, broken glass, and burnt vehicles (although even those crimes, even involving mild bodily harm, aren’t as poisonous as shouting the power words)

    I understand the feeling, the politicians have been given the power of life and death over you and normal individuals can barely gain an audience or have their voice heard in any other way than a scream from behind a barricade. They’ll decide what they want to take and what they’ll allow you to have and there aint a damn thing you can do about it.

    It’s mindbogglingly insane to me that people (a majority in fact) actually desire that these politicians should have even more power and control over their lives, but hey, that’s what makes this site interesting. People probably think I’m crazy for not loving big government.

  • zingzing

    i hope you won’t defend these people, archie.

  • I’m sure glad they’re not in the same room, because the comments would get much more juicy.

  • You should solace in the article, Archie, because it does, in a way, “excuses” some of the behavior. So yes, I do disagree with you. We need to be reminded of crowd behavior and the phenomenon of mass psychosis.

    Yes, Leroy, a very good appraisal. There still is apparently a great deal of repressed racism in America, and it was certainly brought out.

  • the Hawk

    Luke and Arch proving your thesis.

  • Leroy

    The tea parties seem to have unleashed a lot of Repressed Rightist Racism (RRR, neatly superceding KKK).

  • Arch Conservative

    What was the point of this article. The author graciously pointed out the left has their wackadoos at their protests too but did we really need an article telling us that if you get a bunch of people together some of them might act like jackasses?

    What’s you next article going to be about? the time you left your ice cream cone out in the sun and it melted? I’m giddy with anticipation.

  • A very timely article, Sussman. Except I wouldn’t compare those adults to four-year olds – you’re giving kids a bad name.

    I suppose Luke can treat us to some more of the invectives, although I fogot; as an individual thinker, he’s not part of mob mentality.

  • Luke

    Garbage liberal-minded article. When taxes go up even more tell me how great universal health care is