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President Bush to Lead Probe into Katrina Relief Failures

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Rejecting calls for an independent investigation into possible failures and inadequacies in the federal response to Hurricane Katrina, President Bush instead pledged to head the probe himself.

That’s right, President Bush is on the case so we can all relax.

There has been no word on why Bush wants to waste precious time and money on an inquiry that will be widely perceived as the equivalent of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Rafael Palmiero co-chairing an investigation into the the use of steroids in pro sports, or O.J. Simpson’s tireless search for the ‘real killer’.

Let us not forget, President Bush is a man with a congenital defect that makes it impossible for him to be even slightly critical of his aides and appointees. Karl Rove got a free pass for blowing the cover of a CIA agent, John Bolton is likely hurling furniture down the hallways of the UN building right now thanks to Bush’s indifference, and former CIA chief George Tenet—the man whose agency was singled out for harsh criticism by the 9/11 Commission but who, according to Bush, has “done a superb job on behalf of the American people”—was given a Presidential Medal of Freedom.

And don’t expect the buck to stop anywhere near George Bush’s desk, either. He’s not too keen on accepting personal responsibility for anything negative—ever. There was that amazing moment back in April, 2004 when, in response to a reporter’s question, Bush could not think of a single mistake he’d made in his first term in office. Instead, he got that faraway look in his eyes and started yammering on about mustard gas hidden on Iraqi turkey farms.

I could sure think of some mistakes he’s made, not the least of which is attempting to speak extemporaneously, and that’s just off the top of my head. I suppose we can just be thankful that he didn’t get up on the 17th Street levee last Wednesday and declare “Mission Accomplished.”

The silver lining for Bush is that he’ll never be left speechless when asked about past mistakes again. He’ll always be able to tell that one about the time he assumed the American people would buy the conclusions of an investigation headed by the very man who stands accused of the crime in question.

Afterword: George W. isn’t the only Bush who suffers from a severe case of foot-in-mouth disease. George’s mother, Barbara, should also refrain from extemporaneous comments. Here’s what she had to say about Katrina victims today: “So many of the people here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them.” Yikes.

Originally published as Bush to Lead Search for ‘Real Killer’

(parenthetical remarks)

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  • 1Potato

    Why Didn’t Louisiana Follow It’s Required Emergency Plan
    By FreeRepublic.com

    1) Why Didn’t Louisiana Follow it’s Emergency Plan? Why isn’t anyone talking about this?

    2) Why hasn’t anyone mentioned that a Pre-Requisite for a Federal Response BY LAW is that State Law is Executed and the Emergency Plan is Executed FIRST?

    3) Why did the Governor abandon the City of New Orleans for the Safety of Baton Rouge, before the Plan was Executed?

    4) Why, when the federal Government was acting in accordance with the Stafford Act, did the State of Louisiana, by its Governors acts, delay making requests when being told this storm was going to hit?

    5) Why did Mayor Nagin or Governor Blanco, delay while sleeping on it Saturday night, the Mandatory evacuation spelled out in the Louisiana Emergency Plan? Saturday the Mayor said he may order an evacuation tomorrow. (Sunday)

    6) Where were the Parish Presidents who were signatories to the Louisiana Emergency Plan, and why did they fail in its Execution to the plan?

    7) In the Parish failure to implement, why didn’t the State take over as required by the plan?

    8) Why weren’t the Hospitals nursing homes, etc. evacuated since the plan required them to do so?

    9) Why did the Mandatory evacuation only occur AFTER President Bush called, and why did Governor Blanco stress that it was only after President Bush Called to urging the Evacuation order? Was she concerned for the Citizens, or was she grandstanding so she could blame the President if the Storm didn’t hit?

    10) Why were the Action Plan implementations required not done by the Local and State Government?

  • billy

    id be glad to talk about it. the democrats declared an emergency and begged for help. 4 days later bush hadnt responded and he was on stage playing banjo with a hick and he sent the entire guard to protect foreigners in iraq. any more you need to know?

  • http://www.elitistpig.com Dave Nalle

    That’s an easily disproven lie, Billy. Bush declared a state of emergency before the storm even hit and had national guardsmen and FEMA on the ground within 24 hours.

    Dave

  • http://jcb.pentex-net.com John Bambenek

    It wasn’t FEMAs job to hike bus drivers up to the Mayor Ray Nagin Memorial Motor Pool and get New Orleans’ school buses rolling.

  • http://gratefuldread.net Natalie Davis

    Does anyone think that it is a conflict of interest to have the Shrub investigate this? I mean, the list of those being probed has to include *him*.

  • KC

    No one is really buying this crap. You could see what was happening right as it occurred. Even Fox couldn’t put a spin on it to make FEMA look good even in the slightest. Die-hards can still wave the flag and look like fanatics as long as they want. America’s finally has seen the truth, that for the last two elections we’ve voted for individuals who see themselves as the elite, and not as public officials.

  • kittygogo

    Asking all of these questions about why local authority didn’t act still does not answer why Bush did nothing for four days. 3 college students from Duke could go in and save people. They did better than our govt. At all layers. Fire them all – especially Bush

  • alethinos59

    >>Comment 1 posted by 1Potato on September 6, 2005 10:08 PM:
    Why Didn’t Louisiana Follow It’s Required Emergency Plan
    By FreeRepublic.com

    1) Why Didn’t Louisiana Follow it’s Emergency Plan? Why isn’t anyone talking about this?<<

    WHERE THE HELL WAS THE PRESIDENT TO TELL THEM TO PULL THEIR GODDAMN HEADS OUT OF THEIR COLLECTIVE ASSES YOU BUFFOON?!
    That is what we pay the idiot for! TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN! There was no need for the Federal government to “wait” until all the f****** ROGER’S RULES OF ORDER were followed?!! You call that leadership?

    And just to set you straight you TUBER, it wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference to ANY OF US if it had been a Democrat in office – FAILURE IS FAILURE!!!

    The only reason there is so much finger pointing now is that all of us in the BLUE States told you he was an idiot.

  • alethinos59

    PETE.. the man can’t bite the HANDS that both feed him and guide him. That is why he’s never sacked anyone – he’s scared to death to do anything to his caretakers.

    But the truth is there hasn’t been a President in decades and decades that had the balls to do such. Bush is just a more pathetic example of what is wrong with the current system.

  • http://parentheticalremarks.blogspot.com Pete Blackwell

    I agree. Clinton “did” compassion a lot better than Dubya, but he was no more sincere in fact. There hasn’t been a president who took responsibility for his own decisions or those of his administration in decades. Sad state of affairs.

  • 1Potato

    Alethenos59:

    You say:
    WHERE THE HELL WAS THE PRESIDENT TO TELL THEM TO PULL THEIR GODDAMN HEADS OUT OF THEIR COLLECTIVE ASSES YOU BUFFOON?!
    That is what we pay the idiot for! TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN! There was no need for the Federal government to “wait” until all the f****** ROGER’S RULES OF ORDER were followed?!! You call that leadership?

    At least we are finally getting some admission that the local govenment screwed up. That’s a start. But if the local government is the first line of defense, why put the lion’s share of blame on Bush? If both my parachute and my back-up parachute fail, which is worse?

    You continue:
    That is what we pay the idiot for! TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!
    But isn’t that what we pay the local and state government for as well?

    And just to set you straight you TUBER, it wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference to ANY OF US if it had been a Democrat in office – FAILURE IS FAILURE!!!

    Democrats were in office.

    The only reason there is so much finger pointing now is that all of us in the BLUE States told you he was an idiot.

    Thanks for telling us. But you forgot to warn us about the Democrats who were planning to put their “heads up their asses” in a crisis. Or didn’t you know they would do that?

    I’m no expert, but I can’t recall anything like this ever happening, that is, a levee breaking in a major city submerging it. Who the hell knew exactly what to do? It’s not like we have 10,000 little rescue motor boats outside of every city waiting to be deployed. That’s why the people were tole to GET THE HELL OUT. And that is why the local and state government were supposed to evacuate them before it was too late. That was their failure, not Bush’s.

    BTW, are you from New Zealand or something, because I don’t know what the hell a “tuber” is. Just call me an a-hole next time.

  • steve aka the NOTORIOUS G.O.P

    have you ever heard of a heirarchy? The state was responsible. they had poor planning. liberals, at least acknowledge this. this will satisfy me..then you can have your free-for-all on bush. exercise that 1st amendment right

  • alethinos59

    TUBER… Good lord fella (well, I am assuming here… hard for me to imagine a woman taking the tag line you’ve got, but, hey, maybe)

    Anyway…

    GOOD LORD FELLA! When will WE wake up and STOP being supporters of ANY TEAM – regardless of their errors, their sins, their corruption?

    It makes me sick when we have good people of conscience on both sides of the R & D aisle that seem TOTALLY INCAPABLE of seeing the sins of their own group! Shouldn’t we as AMERICANS be interested LESS in partisan politics and MORE on the Truth of the Matter at hand?

    There are PEOPLE with AGENDAS – agendas that exclude helping people, getting at the truth, being of assistance… They belong to both parties.

    How odd… I have family that rants and raves against the coruption of Big Business, how politics is completely tainted by the influence of money – and yet will turn around and defend the current administration as if they were all saints in three-piece suits.

    Other family will moan and groan about various matters that the Democrats have fallen flat on their faces over and defend the party to the bitter end…

    THIS is why the Founding Fathers warned against Party Politics…

    Am I ranting? I hope so… My rantings get raves you know…

    Who GIVES A DAMN who was in OFFICE in the Gulf States? Who was in office in Washington? There was FAILURE on all levels – but the first person who SHOULD have been there is BUSH. The rest of the blame can and will roll downhill, as that particular kind of refuse tends to do…

  • http://parentheticalremarks.blogspot.com Pete Blackwell

    1Pot, a tuber is a po-tay-to. Alethinos is using a pun to try to make a hash of your arguments. so to speak.