Your voting base is just a bunch of sheep. My voting base represents the majority of America, and the majority opinion is the foundation of democracy.
Your candidate, if elected, will make our country more vulnerable to enemy attacks. My candidate, when elected, will protect our children from terrorists.
Your candidate will raise taxes and hurt the economy. My candidate will raise taxes for everybody but you.
Your candidate is out of touch with the common man. My candidate has humble roots, as evidenced by their middle-class parents.
Your candidate uses fear as a campaign tool. My candidate isn't afraid to point out the cold reality of today's world in which we live.
Your candidate's wife is a raving lunatic who once gave a pretty offensive speech last year, and has no business near politics, since she doesn't know what she's talking about. My candidate's wife is feisty, colorful, a strong woman, and does not deserve these sexist attacks, since this election isn't about her, it's about my candidate.
Your candidate is simply not electable. My candidate is, well, not my first choice, but he's as close as it's going to get. And at least he's not your candidate.
Article comments
1 - Cannonshop
Outstanding. I do believe I must admit I resemble more than a couple of those remarks.
but so does anyone else with a political junkie gene...
2 - Joanne Huspek
:-) Good one.
3 - Andy Marsh
Says you Matthew! Or should I have said...I know you are, but what am I? My candidate sounds all f-ed up reading this! It must be biased!
I just wanna know who's the candidate that's gonna raise taxes on everybody but me!
4 - Dave Nalle
Amusing, but it would work better if it was a bit more generic. A few of them only apply one way or the other.
Dave
5 - Jet
I thought you said you didn't understand the algabra equasion I put up on another string?