Bush/Kerry. Kerry/Bush. Who gives a fuck? They both suck ten-gallon buckets of man-ass. So really, it doesn't matter who wins. Either way, we're screwed. I just pray to God that if one of them ever gets assassinated (or chokes to death on a pretzel), the killer has the common decency to take out their vice-president at the same time. (Maybe with a magic pretzel!) Otherwise, we're really screwed.
In case you didn't Tuesday night's Vice-Presidential debate, or as I like to call it, "The Battle for the Least Important Job in Goverment", here's a quick recap:
Edwards: I'm more boring than you.
Cheney: No, I'm the most boring fucker on the planet.
Edwards: Yeah, well I'm less important than you.
Cheney: Hardly. I died two years ago and nobody's even noticed.
Edwards: My running mate can beat up your running mate.
Cheney: Not if my running mate fights pretzel-style.
Edwards: Well, you have to admit that my hair is pretty bad.
Cheney: At least you have hair.
Edwards: Good point. By the way, I hate you.
Cheney: Ditto, dickweed.
After 30 minutes of watching these two pinheads trade barbs, I was looking out my front window, hoping to catch sight of a hijacked plane. With any luck, the terruhists would hit my house. After 60 minutes, I was making flight arrangements so I could hijack a plane and crash it myself. After 90 minutes, I was in the fetal position, making airplane noises whilst crying myself to sleep, hoping it was all just a horrible, horrible dream.
It wasn't.
Article comments
1 - sadi
i love this. you're too funny. applaud applaud.
good for you.
i agree completely.
rock on.
sadi
2 - Eric Olsen
mucho hilarioso, but I found this debate much more entertaining, informative and interesting than Bush vs Kerry - I'd hate to hear what that one did to you
3 - Eric Olsen
er, actually, maybe I would like to hear it
4 - copygodd
would you settle for reading it?
http://copygodd.blogspot.com/2004/10/what-sucks-copygodd-so-did-you-watch.html
5 - Anon
lol...wow, as much as I have supported Kerry and opposed Bush on this site, sometimes I feel exactly the way you do...why do I want EITHER of the guys running MY country?
the vice presidential debate was that times 1000...they didn't even respond to comments on the horrilbe things they've done during their time on this Earth, just replied by naming the horrible things the other did. "I know you are, but what am I?"
and that link is hilarious, not to mention the link at the bottom of that page. i almost shit my pants. I know I should feel bad, but I laughed so hard my stomach was in knots. Gotta release somehow.