Did you know that 52 percent of American Evangelicals have a foot fetish (it's not known if that includes children or, if not, what precisely the other 48 percent are up to)? Or, here's another one: did you know that a full 76 percent of podiatrists are well practised at the art of erotic asphyxiation (I guess having a foot fetish would be a little too much like work), or, that when asked, a full 5 percent of readers of this article will think the author is funny? (Ed. Can you fact check this? It seems a bit high to me). The reason I know these facts to be the case is because the ever-so-malleable Bureau of Made Up Statistics has just told me so. And, having a name that sounds like its a government agency means it must be trustworthy, right?
Now, all joking aside, I am sure all you readers being educated sorts, know all about Quantitative Easing or, as it is known in economically literate circles the "money does grow on trees after all" theory. The theory of QE, roughly stated, is thus: A government is in debt and needs money. The government wants the banks to lend the government money but, alas, the poor banks are broke (hmm) and so don't have any spare pocket change to give to the government, otherwise they would doubtless be the paragon of charity. Deflated (geddit?), the government has a brainwave: it can let the banks create lots of new money out of thin air and then use the money to lend to the government (via bonds). The banks are still poor, for theirs is a meager existence, but they have a future income as bonds are repaid and the government is suddenly flush with cash. To quote Aleksandr Orlov, “simples.”