It sounds like something out of a spy novel, but it's becoming increasingly clear that no one knows the current whereabouts of notoriously insane leader of North Korea Kim Jong Il.
Kim supposedly set off on his armor-plated private train into China on Tuesday. The Chinese government believed he was heading for Beijing, but he never arrived there. On Wednesday rumors started circulating that he might have gone somewhere else, possibly Macao where he is having banking problems because the United States seized Korean assets in a major Macao bank. Then the South Korean government claimed they had intelligence that he was not on his train, but was flying to Shanghai, despite his well known fear of airplanes. Then the North Korean government claimed that he was merely traveling through China to get to Russia. Russian authorities have not confirmed his arrival in their territory. At this point no one seems to actually know where he is.
That someone as prominent as Kim could disappear in a country as tightly controlled in China is inherently suspicious. People in China don't make themselves disappear. The Chinese government 'disappears' them. Of course, if there's one person on earth who could disappear and not be missed by anyone, it's Kim. The South Koreans hate and fear him, the United States - along with most of the civilized world - is completely fed up with his nuclear posturing, China is losing patience with him as an ally and his own people have got to be getting pretty tired of a nonexistent economy, nothing but rice to eat, living in virtual slavery and having state-mandated haircut laws.
This happens right at a moment of considerable tension over North Korea and Kim's behavior. Not only are the 6-way talks on nuclear issues in North Korea stalled, but the United States just implemented crippling economic sanctions against North Korea in response to Kim's release of $45 million in counterfeit US currency on the international market. The US actions were directed at putting pressure on Kim personally, by getting Banco Delta Asia in Macao to freeze Korean assets there, including a great deal of money Kim had salted away for his personal use. This caused a rush on deposits and as a result the government of Macao had to take over administration of the bank. The US also froze the assets of major North Korean technology companies doing business in the United States which are suspected of purchasing materials and equipment for WMD manufacturing programs.
Article comments
1 - Valery
He may have gone to Myanmar or Uganda or maybe even Somalia, the "Axis of Occasionally Evil" countries identified by Andrew Marlatt in the Washington Post.
2 - Aaman
I wish his book on Cinema was cheaper - really want to read it
3 - Victor Lana
Wherever the "beloved" Kim is, I hope he will remain there in obscurity.
4 - Valery
Let's hope he takes Bush and Blair with him.
Oh yes, and that silly Howard sod from Australia.
5 - Dave Nalle
Ah, but Valery. You might not miss Bush and Blair and Howard, but they at least have some people who support and respect them. Do you really think there's anyone - even in North Korea - who in their heart of hearts wouldn't mind stepping on his back if he was floating face down in a rice paddy?
And now the big question - where are the paid bloggers from North Korea to respond to this post? The mere fact that they haven't shown up yet suggests something may be amiss there.
Dave
6 - Scott
I'll talk to Rock-apella about a theme song
7 - Valery
I wouldn't deny that there are people who are fans of Bush, Blair and Howard. The US, UK and Australia have more than their fair share of idiots.
Patience Dave, I'm sure Kim Jong Il will get around to visiting your blog in the near future.
8 - Dave Nalle
I can hardly wait for Kim to honor my blog with his semi-divine presence.
As for idiots, that seems like a harsh way to characterize people you disagree with, but since you are the final arbiter of what is true and good in the universe I guess you have that right and power.
dave
9 - Dave Nalle
Awww hell. He seems to have turned up in Shanghai alive and well. Here's hoping he decides to stay there. A life in exile in China would be an excellent choice for him.
Dave
10 - Valery
It's well known in cyberspace that Kim is enamored with your writing and appreciates your heartfelt and genuine concern for the well-being of the people of North Korea.
Your kind words describing his leadership abilities no doubt warm the cockles of his heart.
11 - Dave Nalle
Why, that's just the result I hoped to achieve, Valery.
Dave
12 - Valery
What a pity your efforts made you lame.
13 - Dave Nalle
What a pity that sarcasm flies in one ear and out the other unrecognized, valery.
Dave
14 - Sam Jack
Kim Jong Il looks like a near-sighted, geriatric penguin. Wouldn't that be something if he just never re-appeared? I'm sure he's fine, though. Oh well.
15 - Dave Nalle
Latest update in the ongoing saga - the current theory is that he is in the city of Guangzhou in Guangdong province in China, not far from Hong Kong, where he may be meeting with government officials and/or business leaders about some sort of financial bailout.
However, at the weekly press conference Chinese government spokesman Kong Quan's first question was about the whereabouts of Lil' Kim and he responded inscrutibly " have to say very sorry. I know that you are much interested in this question, but I have nothing to offer you."
Dave
16 - GoHah
Is this some kind of real-life "Where's Waldo"? And are there any fabulous prizes for the first one to spot him?
17 - Dave Nalle
I think it's more like a live-action version of Whack-a-Mole.
Dave
18 - Nancy
Has anyone noticed that the older he gets, the higher get his elevator shoes & bouffant televangelist hairdo?
19 - Dave Nalle
Now Nancy, Dear Leader is the height of fashion. Just ask all the people in North Korea who have voluntarily chosen to duplicate his hair style.
Dave
20 - Nancy
Well, it's certainly good for businesses that produce hair mousse & elevator shoes.
21 - Scott
This conversation is really making me want to watch "Team America."
22 - Dave Nalle
Did you notice what the first Amazon link on the article is, Scott?
Dave
23 - Pat Fish
That was good, Dave. A lot of stuff I didn't know.
Like North Korea companies in America?
By the way, last I heard they still have not found Dear Leader. The Shanghai story is not credible.
24 - Scott
And there it is. Subliminal advertising. It works I guess. Actually, that's not so subliminal...more liminal or superliminal than anything. I probably noticed in passing but paid no attention. Damn you Amazon links!
25 - Elvira Black
I think I spotted Kim blind drunk in a topless bar over on Eighth Avenue.
What a festering boil on the asshole of mankind.