Just time for a quick post...been away visiting mother and literary agent. Imagine my shock, horror, and abject fear to return to discover that our president has been bugging the hell out of the American people--yes, in the sense of being annoying and incompetent but also literally having the NSA snooping, listening to our phone conversations and reading our e-mail--and probably blogs.
So...from now on, no more Mr. Wiseguy. I love George Bush. I love America. I love all Christians and wish every day was Christmas. Merry Christmas to all you Christians, Jews, Muslims, Janes, Buddhists, Krishnas, and Lithuanians...and anyone else I may have forgotten...except for people who want to do us evil. I hope you have a rotten Christmas and all you get is lumps of coal.
I support our president. Whatever he does. Whatever he says, even when I can't understand it.
I support our vice president and the entire cabinet and hate all those who would tear down this great country. I want to buy lots of guns. Big ones that shoot thousands of rounds per seconds.
I think science sucks. If the Bible is good enough for George Bush, it's good enough for me. I plan to go out tomorrow and buy one. Maybe two. Aw hell, I'll buy a dozen, just to be on the safe side.
What else? Hmmm. Did I say I support our president, right or wrong? No, wait, I didn't mean that. Our president is never wrong. He's even more infallible than the Pope.
Whew. I hope this is enough to get me off any list someone might have put me on. Hey, NSA, I'm really a great American patriot.
God bless America and kill all our enemies. And, God, if you're not sure who our enemies are, just as our president--he's never wrong.
In Jamesons Veritas
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Article comments
1 - Victor Lana
Mark, remember it's not what you say but how you say it. Or, is it what not how you say it but what...? Well, anyway, fun post.
2 - Mark Schannon
Fun? Fun? Victor, seek shelter immediately. They're after us! I'm a serious neo-con now. No more Mr. Liberal here. Protect yourself!
In Jamesons Veritas
3 - Victor Lana
Got it, Mark. Burning my "Cindy Sheehan for President" posters as I type this.
4 - Mark Schannon
Right on, Victor. And then pour the ashes down the toilet and flush many, many times. Then turn towards Washington D.C., kneel and pray for forgiveness.
Good luck.
In Jamesons Veritas