Are we milspouses a tough group? Not as tough as one might think. As I said to novelist Khanh Ha who grew up in a war during a different era, "Though your experience was direct and mine is on the periphery, war is a part of both of us, whether or not we like it." The truth is that both of us have learned to get on with things. We are and will be forever putting this into perspective. But I still like a good laugh, I gasp when I see an unimpeded view of the valley outside, and I yearn for the day when a knock at the door can only mean the postman or a friend.