W Axl Rose, frontman with the popular rock act Axl Rose Presents Guns And Roses, is to be the first glam-metal superstar to run for the presidency since Franklin D Roosevelt.
Rose issued a statement earlier today;
"Anybody who followed my work will see that this has been on the cards for at least 65 days or so. Certainly a month or two. You might notice that the name of the upcoming release by my band is titled The Chinese Democracy. This is a hint to my future career, since Democracy is widely associated with politics."
Filmmaker Michael Moore was on hand to run around with a boom mike and camera, and also some people who were injured at Guns And Roses concerts.
Moore was openly vocal in his lack of support for Rose's campaign. "I couldn't be any more lacking in my support if I set fire to my head and then screamed, all because I disagree", said Moore.
Others, however, have offered the clammy hand of friendship to the aspiring president. Gene Simmons, star of Trick Or Treat, had this to say;
"What America needs is a president who isn't afraid to say "fuck" over and over. Whatever your opinions on the war, abortion, other political topics, you can't deny that W Axl Rose is a man who says "fuck" over and over, sometimes with other swearwords in between."
In a televised debate, Rose was attacked by Vice President Al Gore for the inadequacies of his facial cosmetics.
"If I were you", said Gore, "I would be more worried about how fat you've gotten all of a sudden, instead of the world trade deficit."
W Axl Rose, displaying charisma beyond his girth, stated "Fuck yourself, Gore, you son of a bitch."
The founding fathers are said to be "highly deceased" by the developments.
The Duke resides at Mondo Irlando
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Temple A. Stark
I'm sorry, I'm just ashamed to have you as a fellow blogcritic.
You didn't even use the line - "and he's a "real" W.A.R. president."
For shame. :)
2 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Temple, i know, that was just downright unforgivable. Heh. you actually had me there, man. I was thinking, shit, i've upset someone. But no. turns out theres a smily face. :)
3 - melissa depp
Are you guys really serious about Axl running for president or are you just screwing around? If you serious i would just like to say he gets my vote!
4 - axl rose
Yes i'm running for president fuck damit!!
5 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
heh sorry melissa. it was all a figment of The Duke's filthy imagination. Looking back at this, though, it was pretty funny.
Good work, The Duke.
6 - horsey
VOTE FOR AXL , CAUSE HE'S SEXY !
7 - piercy
GO THE GUNNERS N GO AXL....!!!! that was pretty funny mate good eff...
8 - horsey
HE'S STILL SEXY SO GET THEM VOTES OUT LOL.he promiss's more orgasims.h a h a'
9 - Jacks
To Axl,
Hey, fellow-warrior, you don't know me, but you are helping me through a very hard time, so I just wanna say thank you!!! Thank you for being you, Axl!
Love,
Jacks
10 - a.j.
will axl be runig as a rupulican or democrat?
11 - Axl Rose
HMmmmmmm i do it my 1st thing will be to stop vr and to get my new cd out and sit back and have fun
Your m8
William bruce bailey (Axl Rose)
12 - Sandra
Axl
I read you defended yourself in court and your other profession would of been to become a lawyer. Now you wish to run for president - are you losing your mind? Email me please!
Sandra
13 - Sandra
AXL
I'm trying to find your biography on the net - I dont think you have one. What happened to you - I used to see you all the time - now you weren't even at Live8? Email me please. (don't say fuck) haha!
Sandra
14 - Nicole
Hell yea Axl for presedent he gets my vote, o yea count that as 3 votes other ppl in here want him too. Axl is a legend, legends never die, so he should b presedent.
15 - Temple Stark
Shit man - at this point I'd vote for him.
No really. I want a person who doesn't give a fuck, yet who has felt some humility.
And has some soul.
16 - Aaman
Freaky - two Axl threads go active at once
17 - Juan Guzman
by the way Axl, the O in my email address is a capitalized o, not a zero. Axl, you turned me into someone I never knew existed. Cause of you, I'm able to get girls now. Cause of you, I'm able to live happier. People want to know if you have what it takes to be president, fuck, you have all the ingredients to become president. Email me so maybe one day I can sing high pitch like you. Oh yeah, one more thing: Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.
18 - Lyss Griffey
Happy Birthday Axl you gave me a chill when you said your real name Don't email me
19 - Jackie
rock on axl mr president of rock.....
20 - Jackie.
Please make a come back, as nothings the same without our sweet Axl. xxxx luv u always xxxx. email me
21 - Lyss Griffey
Jackie don`t you know that he probably gets "i love you" every day and the trick to get them to notice you is to be different but thats all I know I`m onley 13 "all we need is just a little PATIENCE" and he`ll make a come back.
22 - Kimmi
Hey! I just wanted to say that I have always thought Axl was HOT and still do. You're the best! Please email me too when you get a chance!
Love ya, Kimmi
23 - Kimmi
Don't you know that it doesn't hurt anyone by letting someone even if they are famous know that they are loved! They are people just like you and me and may be he needs to know that there are people out there that love him.
24 - Lyss Griffey
Jakie i`m sorry I just wanted you to get ahold of him and yeah he is totaly hot pluss he can sing alto supprano and base. Jakey please post a comment telling me how old you are ,if you`ve heard november rain and if we can be frinds
25 - Lyss Griffey
Oh Kimmi I am sorry I didn`t read your name but I wanted to tell you that he knows that he is loved becuase if you didn`t love him than you would not be on this site wrighting good things about him and if you were famouse and a million people wrote to you from different sites you would probably wite to the ones that were different