Hannity is articulate, but his knowledge is a mile wide and half an inch deep. In some ways, actually, he may be the most loathsome of the lot, because you at least detect a speck of native intelligence behind his overwrought chatter and practiced enunciation. (And former partner Colmes: did he not come straight from Central Casting, the limp wristed liberal? A little more of Colmes and I might become a conservative myself. Talk about elevating the pathetic.)
Limbaugh is the patron saint and I can’t say anything about him that has not already been said. Leave it at this: on his best days he is a (fiendishly and uncontrollably rotund, the more I see him) hypocrite. And he’s a hypocrite because, above all the others, he believes his first job is to entertain, not inform. (An aside: every time I see Limbaugh or picture him with the now-signature large cigar in his hand or his mouth, I think of George Carlin’s famous bit, modified slightly here. Sometimes, Rush, a cigar is just a cigar; sometimes if a big brown dick.) At least it’s long and not limp, which must be a mixed pleasure to the Viagra-devouring Conscience of the Conservatives.
Last on the list here — although there are countless others; just tune in to AM radio and drive (see Was above) — is our friend Glenn Beck. It may turn out that Beck is the most dangerous (I mean that literally; the unschooled mind might actually believe half of what these morons have to say), because he is the most visually unthreatening. Limbaugh’s massive bulk and his massive balding head (seemingly growing larger by the broadcast) give us at least a visual pause: as in, this could be a scary dude if I met him in an alley one night.
Beck, with his baby-fat-suffused choir boy cheeks and general Pillsbury Doughboy look, does not scare us with his visage. (Unlike a lot a talk show hosts, he has more than his share of TV time — first CNN and now Fox — and so we know what this beatific boob looks like, and it’s not scary; but it should be. He is, as GQ tacitly labeled him 6-8 issues ago, the most annoying man on TV.) Annoying is a far cry from scary, but then neither is this piece finished with Mr. Beck.
Theoretically a former alcoholic (why should I believe him when he says he was; it only serves to advance his demeanor?) he is now a thoughtful, rational, and true conservative, if only because of his supposedly demented past. (Understand this if nothing else, the man or woman who professes mighty sins in the past and now tells you they’ve conquered them — well, certitude is scary, and these people are scary in their certitude.) Beware the true believer.
Article comments
1 - Dave Nalle
Does the smugness and hate make you feel better about the emptiness and inadequacy which fill your days with self-loathing and terrifying doubt?
Dave
2 - Baronius
Sorry about that. Please delete the previous comment (my test comment, not Dave's comment).
I just wanted to say that this article didn't show any insight into the different talk show hosts. That would have been much more intersting.
3 - Baritone
Well, it may be that excepting in respect of their individual personalities, there isn't a hell of a lot of difference to be found between those people. They are all tantamount to snake oil salesmen/women or money grubbing evangelists.
The one name left out of the discussion was everyone's favorite, Ann Coulter, but that I assume is owing to the fact that she doesn't have her own radio/TV show. (At least I don't think she does.)
Dave - all those people - just as with GWB - have over time earned the loathing they receive. Perhaps you look at them as lords of the right, protectors of the great conservative hoard. I (and apparently Stephen) see them all as despicable opportunistic blowhards. I grant you that there are a few such coming out of the left as well, but overall, the right wingers pretty much have the corner on the market.
B
Am I seeing this correctly, they have done away with the "comment preview?"
4 - Clavos
Dave - all those people - just as with GWB - have over time earned the loathing they receive.
As have Bill Maher, Rachel Maddow, Keith Olbermann, and of course, Miss Congeniality, Al Franken.
5 - Baritone
Clav,
Maher - Yeah, pretty much. Franken - Okay, you can have him too. Olbermann - well, sorta, but I kinda like him despite his pomposity, so I can't really give him up.
Maddow? Nope. She's defnitely a keeper. Tell you what, you can have Chris Matthews AND I'll throw in Michael Moore, but I get to keep Rachel. :-)
B
6 - Jeannie Danna
I would be very curious to know what has been deposited in the personal bank accounts of theses voices from the extreme right. I believe they are serving a power we do not ever really see in this country. You know, the same fools that rally against any social programs, at all, for the majority of us are ominously silent when money is funneled to the industrial war complex,Wall Street, AIG, and the banks. The most ironic fact here is that if not for the social programs that grew the middle class to begin with; Glen Beck, Shawn Hannity, and yes! even Rush Limbaugh wouldn't have a microphone in front of them. They would have a serving tray!